1. Impact on Family Systems Bob Campbell, Psy.D., M.Div. MKSN Conference April 20, 2013

2. Family Differences “Happy families are all alike; every unhappy family is unhappy in its own way.” - Tolstoy

3. Interconnections

6. Trauma MomDadChild 3Child 2 Child Trauma

7. Triangles

8. 

9. Triangles MomDadChild 3Child 2 Child Trauma

10. Homeostasis Every system works to maintain itself Change increases stress

11. Triangles MomDadChild 3Child 2 Child Trauma

12. The Effect of Childhood Trauma Stress and stress response Every situation is different Diathesis/stress model Connections may be broken Sense of being understood is lost Feeling intensely vulnerable

13. Self-Protection

14. System Out of Whack

15. Guilt “I did something wrong”

16. Shame Guilt says “I did something wrong.” Shame says “I am something wrong.” Embarrassment Silence Stuckness

17. Blame Blaming the perpetrator Blaming the church Blaming the structure Blaming God Blaming the family Essence of blame – a struggle to understand and interpret

18. This is even more complex …

19. Rigidity

20. Secrecy, decorum, rules, and shame Related to faith stance Black and white thinking Oughts, shoulds, and can’ts

21. Boundaries Open and closed systems Family rules

22. Depression

23. Isolation

24. Anxiety

25. Post-traumatic Stress Disorder Flashbacks Re-experiencing Avoidance Distress Hypervigilance Irritability Comorbid mood disorders

26. Even more complexity

27. Brokenness from Outside

28. External Trauma FamilySurvivorPerpetrator

29. Brokenness from Inside Most important relationships Trusted Empowered Authorities Connected with Faith Loss of connection, attachment Abandonment Betrayal Development of shame from lack of attachment

30. Internal Brokenness FamilyChurchGod

31. Internal Brokenness Survivor WorldFamily

32. Ripple Effects

33. Repetitive Traumatization Learned hopelessness Impact on developmental schema Loss of meaning Withdrawal from social support TRAUMA

34. Healing the Family System

35. Seeking Assistance

36. Keeping Healthy Boundaries

37. Opening Lines of Communication

38. The F-word Alternatives Letting go Softening Learning assertiveness Learning self-care Defusing Working toward, rather than against Finding purpose

39. Increasing Flexibility

40. Resilience

41. Dr. Bob Campbell rcampbell@willowwellness.com www.willowwellness.com