1. Bell Work Read textbook pages 320-323 “Conflict Resolution Skills”
Check out the “Did you know?”
on pages 321 & 322

2. The process of ending a conflict by cooperating and problem solving
Conflict Resolution
Definition:
The process of ending a conflict by cooperating and problem solving

3. Objectives Define tolerance. Define negotiation.
Name & describe the 3 ways to handle a conflict.
Passive, aggressive & assertive
Explain why “I” statements are an effective way to communicate.

4. Preventing Conflict Tolerance
Accepting others’ differences & allowing them to be who they are without expressing disapproval
TB 321

5. Solving a Conflict Negotiation
Process in which compromising is used to reach agreement
Talking, listening, considering other person’s point of view, compromising
No blaming
TB 322

6. Responding to Conflicts
“You” statements
Nothing solved
Have to get THEIR way
“I” statements
Best chance of resolution
Willing to compromise & say sorry
Little/nothing said
Nothing solved, give in
Never stick up for yourself
Aggressive
Bully
2. Assertive
Leader
High self esteem
Admits mistakes
3. Passive
Follower
Low self esteem TB

7. Communication Skills I Statements
You idiot!
Communication Skills I Statements

8. How to use an I statement It is a verbal message!
I feel ______________________
when ______________________
because ___________________.
I’d like/I want _______________.
Would you consider _________
___________________________?
Identify feelings and situation
Give an example solution (compromise)
Think about what the other person would want… put yourself in their shoes.

9. EXAMPLE Parents won’t let you out past 10
I feel untrusted
when I can’t go out after 10
because I’ve been well behaved.
I’d like/I want to try and compromise.
Would you consider letting me stay out until 11?

10. How to avoid “you”… When you keep bothering me When I am distracted
Because you always make me
Because I’m made to
Turn it into…
Turn it into…

11. Example Conflicts Getting picked on by classmates or friends
Seeing someone else get picked on
Chores
Computer usage
Girl/boyfriend wants to spend every day with you
Not allowed to go somewhere
Clothes/hair
Curfew
Cell phone (bill…)

12. Example Conflicts A person is saying “you’re stupid.”
You witness a person telling someone they’re stupid
Your brother does not have to do as many chores as you do.
Your sister won’t let you on the computer.
Your girlfriend wants to spend every day with you.
You’re being picked on for being small.
Your parents will not let you go to a school dance.
You don’t like that a friend of yours keeps poking fun at you.
Your parents won’t let you wear certain clothes on the weekend or do your hair a certain way.

13. Now you try… Your parents will not let go somewhere
Now you try… Your parents will not let go somewhere. Concert, dance, mall, friend’s house…
I feel ______________
when ____________________________________
because _________________________________.
I’d like/I want _____________________________.
Would you consider ________________________
_______________________________________?

14. What is the importance of each line in an I Statement?
Use a feeling word (upset, let down, sad, disappointed)
Explain the situation in detail & avoid “you”
Explain feelings and how it affects you (sympathy line)
“it is important to me.”
“it hurts my feelings.”
“to compromise.”
“to fix our misunderstanding.”
“talk about this tonight.”
“be friends again.”
Ideas/solutions to fix the conflict. Be specific!! Both people must be okay with the suggestion.
I feel
when
because
I’d like/I want
Would you consider

15. What is the importance of each line in an I Statement?
Use a feeling word (upset, let down, sad, disappointed)
Explain the situation in detail & avoid “you”
Explain feelings and how it affects you (sympathy line)
“it is important to me.”
“it hurts my feelings.”
I feel
when
because

16. What is the importance of each line in an I Statement?
“to compromise.”
“to fix our misunderstanding.”
“talk about this tonight.”
“be friends again.”
Ideas/solutions to fix the conflict. Be specific!! Both people must be okay with the suggestion.
I’d like/I want
Would you consider

17. Important Elements Of An I Statement
I feel identify a feeling (upset, sad, disappointed)
when describe the situation in detail & avoid you
because explain feelings to get their sympathy
I’d like/I want ideas of what to say here: fix our misunderstanding, talk about this tonight, compromise, to be friends again…
Would you consider an idea/solution/compromise to fix/improve the conflict. It must be specific & something both people would agree to.

18. How to use an I statement It is a verbal message!
I feel ______________________
when ______________________
because ___________________.
I’d like/I want _______________.
Would you consider _________
___________________________?
Identify feelings and situation
Give an example solution (compromise)

19. EXAMPLE Your friend is dating your X-girl/boyfriend
I feel angry
when I see you with so-and-so
because we spent lots of time together.
I’d like/I want some time to heal.
Would you consider waiting a few weeks to see each other?

20. Why use I statements?
I statements
anger
you statements
violence
hate

21. True/False
1. True False I statements prevent people from trying to guess why you are mad.
2. True False Tolerance is accepting others differences without expressing disapproval.
3. True False I statements should involve a compromise.
4. True False Passive people always have to get their way.
5. True False Negotiation is a method to prevent conflicts.

22. 6. True False I Statements are always effective in solving conflicts.
7. True False Assertive people use a sincere tone of voice when discussion a conflict.
8. True False I statements are only shared with the friends of the person you are upset with.
9. True False You have no control over how the other person responds in a conflict situation.
10. True False A compromise is when both people are comfortable with a solution to a problem.
11. True False The word “you” is considered to be an assertive term.

23. When you won’t let me go to the concert
Your parents will not let you take the train to a mid-day concert in Chicago this weekend with your friends and two adults. You want to go and are going to try an “I statement” to resolve the conflict. 1.
I feel angry
When you won’t let me go to the concert
Because I never get to go anywhere.
I’d like/I want you to reconsider.
Would you consider letting me go?
I feel disappointed
When I couldn’t go to the concert in Chicago
Because I’m responsible.
I’d like/I want to compromise.
Would you consider letting me go if I call you twice? 2.

24. When I am not able to go to the concert with my friends 3.
I feel left out
When I am not able to go to the concert with my friends
Because I know they’re going to have a good time.
I’d like/I want to compromise.
Would you consider letting me go if I am home by 10 pm?
I feel not trusted
When I can’t go to the concert with 2 adults
Because I can take care of myself.
I’d like/I want to go to the concert.
Would you consider letting me go to the concert? 4.

25. In you’re opinion, which I statement is the best? Why?
Which statement is the most aggressive? Why?
Which statement(s) do not provide a solution or compromise?
In which statement does the person just keep repeating themselves?

26. Will they always work? No But…
You can’t control other people
But…
You’ve tried your best to resolve conflict in an assertive way
Helps your self-esteem
Feel good
Might make the person think more about situation
Didn’t escalate problem
Add to the fire