1. If the World Were Crazy

2. IF THE WORLD WERE CRAZY

3. YOU KNOW WHAT I’D EAT?

4. A big slice of soup and a whole quart of meat

6. Some roasted ice cream or a bicycle pie,

8. An omelet of hats and some crisp cardboard toast,

9. A thick malted milk made from pencils and daisies,

10. And that's what I'd eat if the world was crazy.

11. If the world was you know what I'd wear? crazy,

12. A chocolate suit and a tie of eclair,

15. I'd call the boys "Suzy" and I'd call the girls "Harry,"

16. I'd talk through my ears, and I always would carry A paper umbrella for when it grew hazy

18. If the world was crazy, you know what I'd do?

19. I'd walk on the ocean and swim in my shoe, I'd fly through the ground and I'd skip through the air

20. I'd run down the bathtub and bathe on the stair.

21. When I met somebody I'd say "G'bye, Joe," And when I was leaving then I'd say "Hello."

22. And the greatest of men would be silly and lazy

23. So I would be king... if the world was crazy