1. Chemical Dependency in the Family

2. Affects on the family:  Addiction in the family affects any family member in any area of their life – now or in the future.

3. Affects on the family:  It affects their view of a family  How they relate to each other in their family  How they communicate with each other  How they handle their problems and conflicts  It affects future relationships – usually carries over from what they learn

4. Family Roles:  The family will take on roles to reduce stress in the family.  They are used as a defense mechanism to try to have a “normal” family.

5. Chemically Dependent Person  Things Others See :  Charming person who gets others to do things.  Perfectionist  Inner Feelings:  Pain  Guilt  Fear of what might happen

6. Chemically Dependent Person  Job in the family :  Focal point: everything revolves around them. Depends on if they had been drinking, what mood are they in…  Characteristics :  Blames others for their problem  Makes excuses for their use/abuse

7. Chief Enabler  Things Others See :  Overly responsible for the family  Easily manipulated by the chemically dependent person  Inner Feelings:  Fear  Anger  Guilt

8. Chief Enabler  Job in the family :  Try the best to keep the family together  Characteristics :  Makes excuses and covers up for the addict  Pays off debts for them, call in sick for them, etc.

9. Family Hero  Things Others See :  Very successful and always does what’s right  Inner Feelings:  Inadequate  Confusion  Anger - all of this conflicts with what others see

10. Family Hero  Job in the family :  Gives the family something to be proud of  Characteristics :  Very high achiever – has to be the best in grades, sports, etc. VERY STRESSFUL ROLE

11. Family Scapegoat  Things Others See :  Angry  Defiant  Aggressive  Inner Feelings:  Lonely  Hurt  Guilty  Rejection  Resentment

12. Family Scapegoat  Job in the family :  Take focus off the addict  Family takes out anger on them

13. Family Scapegoat  Characteristics :  Can’t compete with the hero, so goes for negative attention. Gets in trouble – suspended, arrested, flunking classes.  Strong ties to friends that are also trouble  At risk to use/abuse drugs – their escape

14. Lost Child  Things Others See :  Withdrawn  Loner  Passive  Inner Feelings :  Feel as if they are unimportant

15. Lost Child  Job in the family :  Appreciated because they are not looking for any attention  Characteristics :  Escapes into a fantasy world – books, TV. A daydreamer.  Very quiet, not a lot of friends.  May be attached to an object like a doll.

16. Family Mascot  Things Others See :  Immature, a “class clown”  Inner Feelings :  Anger  Insecure  Confusion  Low self-esteem

17. Family Mascot  Job in the family :  Make everyone laugh – even in tense situations  Characteristics :  Hyperactive  Short attention span  Needs to be the center of attention

18. Stages Family MAY Go Through:  Stage one: Denial  “We have no problem”  Try to hide the problem from themselves and others, embarrassed and worried about their reputation. Makes excuses for the addicts’ behavior.  Tries to create the “perfect family” illusion

19. Stages Family MAY Go Through:  Stage two: Home Treatment  “We can handle it ourselves”  They try to control the addict themselves – nagging, threatening, getting rid of the supply, etc. They become socially isolated  They blame each other and themselves when this fails

20. Stages Family MAY Go Through:  Stage three: Chaos and Disorganization  A crisis occurs because of the addict’s abuse of drugs – can no longer deny or hide the problem.  Family feels helpless, violence may occur, frightened  May look for help – want “magic solution”

21. Stages Family MAY Go Through:  Stage four: Reorganize  Family gets help for themselves – not waiting for the addict to want help  Ignore the addict or treat them like a child  Conflicting feelings – love, fear, anger, shame and resentment