1. By John Presley Inspired by Clement Clarke Moore and Brian “The General” Latham

2. Twas Constitution Day Eve, when all through the house Not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse. The buckled shoes were placed by the bookcase with care, In hopes that Mr. Madison soon would be there.

3. The children were nestled all snug in their beds, While visions of the Virginia Plan danced in their heads. And the wife and I alone, snuggled in the bed tight, Just recited the preamble before we said, “Good night.”

4. When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter, I sprang from the bed to see what was the matter. Away to the window I flew like a flash, Tore open the shutters and threw up the sash.

5. The moon on the breast of the September night Gave the luster of mid-day to objects in sight. When, what to my wondering eyes should drastically appear, But a white cast iron bathtub, tied to a pair of Sussex steers.

6. With a little and slight fellow, so lively with resolution, I knew in a moment it must be the Father of the Constitution. Hopping out of the iron, he and his spirits bore no shame, And he whistled, and shouted, and called them by name!

7. "Now Mason! now, King! now, Washington and Gerry! Rise now, dear Virginians and be all together merry! To the bottom of the paper! Grab that feathery pen! Sign that document with your hearts for all free men!”

8. As dry leaves that before the wild hurricane fly, When they meet with an obstacle, mount to the sky. So up to the house-top the spirits they flew, With the bathtub full of candy and amendments, too.

9. And then, in a twinkling, I heard on the top of the roof, The dastardly sound of a Burr gave alarming proof. As I drew up my head, and was turning around, He shot at me with his musket ball round!

10. "I shot at you," the culled traitor cowardly chimed, "To avenge my misfortune and my place in time!" From the roof he landed on soil with his guns point blank: "You and I will repeat the smoke of Weehawken's bank!"

11. Madison tapped a dance to summon the Philly sage, Ben Franklin dropped from the sky, armed with rage! "See here, you wicked man! Somewhere else you need be!” And tossed him the Liberty Bell loaded with TNT.

12. The blast rattled the turncoat-on- liberty's teeth, And the smoke it encircled his head like a wreath. Madison pulled out his choice weapon not too late, And whipped Burr with the Federalist Paper no. eight!

13. Burr let out a cry and slipped into the night, that elf! And I laughed when I saw him go, in spite of myself! A wink of Madison's eye and a twist of his head, Soon gave me to know I had nothing to dread.

14. Madison arrived inside as Franklin rubbed his nose, And giving a nod, up the sage to the sky he rose! Madison spoke not a word, but to work missing no beat, And filled all the shoes with amendments and sweets.

15. He sprang to his tub, to his oxen gave a whistle, And away both flew like the down of a thistle. But I heard him exclaim, ‘ere he drove out of sight... "Happy Constitution Day to all, and to all good-rights!"