1. SHARON ZYGOWICZ, PH.D. COUNSELING & ADULT RE-ENTRY JOHN PORVAZNIK PUBLIC SAFETY GATEWAY COMMUNITY COLLEGE Heating Up and Cooling Down: Managing the “Temperature” of Communication

2. Overview Frame of Mind Nonverbal Communication Verbal Communication The Conflict The Aftermath

3. Frame of Mind How Do We Get Our “Game Face” On?

4. Ways to Get in the Game Ownership – internal locus of control SLEEP Eat Well Talk to Your Support System Deep Breaths Exercise Meditate Alone Time Laugh Relax

5. Types of Communication Nonverbal Verbal What % of each?

6. How Do We Communicate Nonverbally?

7. Ways to Communicate Nonverbally Facial Expression  Eyes/eye contact  Brow  Mouth Body Language  Posture  Open vs. Closed Rate of Movement

8. What Nonverbal Messages Could “Heat Up” Communication?

9. Heated Nonverbal Messages “I don’t care.” “I’m annoyed.” “You don’t know what you’re talking about.” “You’re crazy.”

10. What Nonverbal Messages Could “Cool Down” Communication?

11. Cooled Nonverbal Messages LISTENING “I’m concerned.” “I have empathy.” “You make sense.” “I want to help you.”

12. What Verbal Messages Could “Heat Up” Communication?

13. Heated Verbal Messages Tone of Voice  Sarcastic  Annoyed/Hostile  Apathetic  Loud/raised “You”-messages  Should statements/blame or shame Debating/Arguing Interrupting

14. What Verbal Techniques Could “Cool Down” Communication?

15. Cooled Verbal Techniques Acknowledgement/Validation  “I can see how this would really upset you.” Agreeing – 2% truth  “You’re right about ___________.” Reassurance  “We can figure this out.”  “Let’s do this…” Sympathizing  “I’m sorry you’ve had such a difficult time.” Modeling  Use the calm tone of voice you would like the student to use.

16. The Conflict Behaviors of the student  Upset, Aggressive, Threatening, Creepy De-escalation techniques  Speaking softly  Remain calmer than the other person  Understand the objective (RDC vs Citrix)  Stay focused on the objective – don’t take it personal  Listen and convey empathy  Ask questions rather than making statements  Nonpublic discussion

17. The Conflict When to call (threatened, harassed, overwhelmed) Who to call (co-worker, supervisor, Public Safety) How to call (IM, phone, hand signals) What to say (co-worker, Public Safety) Role of Public Safety

18. The Aftermath How do you “regroup” after conflict?

19. Ways to “Regroup” Deep Breathing Take a Walk Listen to Music Talk to Someone Positive Self-Talk Healthy Distraction Reporting Procedures