1. Negotiation Skills for Women
Knowing what you want and how to go get it!

2. Everyday you negotiate!
Even if you don’t think about it that way – you still negotiate throughout your day
No one is born a skilled negotiator – it takes practice
Remember:
Everything is negotiable
Female vs Male negotiation styles do differ
There are resources to help you learn to negotiate confidently
You can overcome the common mistakes made in negotiating

3. Why don’t we negotiate? We don’t want to offend
We want/need to be friends with everyone
It upsets the balance
Hard to separate personal vs business
We don’t want to disagree
Concerned what others think
Question our own value; Am I worth it?

4. Everything is negotiable
Almost everything is life is negotiable if you see it that way
Opportunities to negotiate exist in almost every interaction
You’re probably better at it than you think!
Can I have an ice cream mum?
Let’s go to the coast for Christmas
I’d rather you had an apple
I take it you mean the Gold Coast?

5. Female vs Male Negotiation Styles
Do any of these sound familiar?
Not asking for what you want for fear of damaging a relationship
Being hesitant about saying no because you’d like to keep everyone happy
Having much greater success at negotiating for someone else than your self
Getting flustered and emotional if a negotiation gets heated
Thinking the louder, tougher or smarter you are the better your chance at negotiation success

6. Men & Women have different negotiation styles
Women value relationships over outcome
Men leverage relationships to achieve goals
Women make decisions based on what they feel they need rather than what they are worth
Men are more likely to ask for what they want
Women are more likely to wait to be recognised
Men talk for longer and interrupt more often!
Men use more direct language
Men tend to display more confidence than
women in performance oriented settings
Women tend to set more modest goals

7. Handy female instincts
Negotiation is about relationships….and girls are good at relationships!
Perception is a stronger natural instinct in females than males
Picking up non-verbal signals (body language)
For the first 2 years or so females need to communicate with children who cannot use language
Negotiation is ultimately an exercise in two-way communication
Needs exist on both sides of the table
Perspectives, ideas and feelings differ
Shared understanding = mutual solutions

8. When is it worth it?
While everything might be negotiable, you don’t want to negotiate about everything
The key….. YOU decide what’s worth negotiating
Identify & clarify your personal & professional goals
If you’re heart’s not in it, you’re less likely to be successful

9. Dissection of a negotiation
Negotiation is based on how important something is to two parties: yourself and the other negotiator
Research is a critical yet hidden component
Two-way communication process
Demands & concessions (give and take)
Precedents: what went before
Experience: how often you’ve done this
Personality traits and confidence
Other parties: mediators, third-parties
Outcomes: immediate and/or ongoing

10. Tips for stronger negotiation

11. 10 steps before the conversation
WHAT
CONTENT
Step 1
Ascertain the scope of the exchange
Step 2
Determine the negotiation objectives
Step 3
Examine suppositions of both parties
Step 4
Collect relevant data
Step 5
Identify issues, sticking points and trade-offs
Step 6
Calculate preliminary bargaining position & ground rules
PROCESS
Step 7
Reveal other side’s needs & examine your own
Step 8
Produce your overall bargaining strategy
Step 9
Determine possible negotiating options: BATNA (see next)
Step 10
Enter into negotiations

12. What is BATNA? Best Alternative to a Negotiated Agreement
Draft in advance
Think like the other party – what’s most important to them, where are they most likely to compromise
Equally – what’s more important to you, where would you be willing to compromise to give the other party a ‘win’

13. Before the conversation
60% of the negotiation occurs before the conversation starts!
The best negotiators do their pre-work meticulously

14. Preparation builds confidence
Identify what it is you actually want
Prepare your arguments in advance based on objective research
Bring your notes in with you or send an agenda outlining your key points in advance
In a business setting, try to tie your desired outcomes with the objectives of the team or company
Not “ you say as a company that you respect work/life balance so give me a four day week”
What would you say instead?

15. Think collaboration – Not confrontation Mutual goals or win-win
Understand not just your needs but those of the other side
Have pre-prepared your give and take
What is a nice to have that you are prepared to compromise on if needed?
Getting fired up and emotional can lead to an adverse outcome
Challenges are predictable: anticipate how the other person/party is likely to react and think about specific ways to respond

16. Be Yourself! Common mistakes:
Adopting a negotiation style that does not reflect who you are (one you are not comfortable with)
People see through you if you’re trying to be something you are not (you will look weak)
You can be quiet and calm but still be strong
You can disagree politely (no need for aggression)

17. Engaging & gaining buy-in
The best negotiations are exercises in two-way conversations
Active listening, asking questions, reinforcing your desire for a mutually beneficial outcome
Making sure the other party is being heard is a sign of respect
Show appreciation for differences in perspective
“let me clarify that I understand where you are coming from”

18. Avoiding clichés & disclaimers
Don’t use jargon and clichés
Table thumping and aggression rarely work and are just embarrassing
“I think…”, “I feel…” are less forceful terms than “It’s clear that…” or “The market shows us that….”

19. Stay focused & on target
Keep to the point – don’t deviate
Ask for more time to consider if you need to
You usually don’t have to make a decision to accept an offer immediately
One conversation might not culminate in the final decision
Remember - negotiation is a process

20. Seek a mentor
Learn from someone who displays outstanding negotiation skills
Use this as an opportunity to practice
Role play your negotiations prior to conducting them
Ask your mentor for objective feedback
A little pep talk can do wonders for your confidence!

21. Common mistakes Not being willing to say no
No is the most powerful word in negotiating!
Successful negotiators know when & how to say no
Prepare properly, know your options, be flexible and be realistic
Remember that saying no isn’t personal
You must be able to disagree rather than give in to something that is contrary to your interests but you can be flexible in how to satisfy your interests
Not negotiating well when it’s for yourself
Negotiate for yourself as if you were negotiating for someone else (your colleagues, your kids, your family)

22. Ask for It: How Women Can Use the Power of Negotiation to Get What They Really Want (Linda Babcock & Sara Laschever)

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