1. Resolving Conflict Constructively UWS Aspire Leadership Program Year 1 2009 INSPIRING TRANSFORMATIONAL LEADERSHIP

2. Contents  Signs of Poor Conflict Management  Signs of Constructive Conflict Management  Win/Win Approach  Creative Response – Problems or Challenges?  Demonstrating Empathy  Appropriate Assertiveness  Managing Emotions  Resolving the Conflict

3. Signs of Poor Conflict Management  Anxiety  Procrastination  Confusion  Loss of Productivity  Resentment  Stress  Illness  Denial  Withdrawal  Suppressed Anger Source: Everyone Can Win, H. Cornelius & S. Faire

4. Signs of Constructive Conflict Management  Feeling of Power  Sense of Smooth Running  Efficiency  Openness  Teamwork  Good Health  Vitality  Fun Environment  Sense of Achievement  Good Relationships  TGIM!!!! Source: Everyone Can Win, H. Cornelius & S. Faire

5. Win/Win Approach  The Win/Win Approach = “I want to win AND I want you to win too.”  The Win/Win Approach requires you to find out more about the situation first and explore the options before finalising the solution  The Win/Win Approach steps are:  Find out why they need what they want  Find out where the differences dovetail  What are the options?  Co-operate Source: Everyone Can Win, H. Cornelius & S. Faire

6. Creative Response – Problems or Challenges?  The Creative Response to Conflict is about turning problems into opportunities.  The Steps are:  Step 1: Reaction or Response  Step 2: Acknowledge the Situation for What It Is  Step 3: What Can You Learn from the Situation  Step 4: Turn Conflict into Opportunity  As you think, so it becomes

7. Demonstrating Empathy If you want effective relationships, your communication must demonstrate to people that you:  Respect them as equals and won’t dominate them  Respect their opinions and won’t try to manipulate them to seeing it your way  Respect and value their decisions and won’t undermine them  Respect their values and experience  Empathy ‘Blocks’: Domination, manipulation, disempowerment and denial Source: Everyone Can Win, H. Cornelius & S. Faire

8. Appropriate Assertiveness  Good Conflict Resolution requires you to be able to state your case without causing the other person to be defensive.  Explain how things are for you, rather than what others should or shouldn’t do.  Use “I” statements, rather than using “You …….”  Are your “I” statements CLEAN and CLEAR?  What do you do when faced with Conflict – Fight, Flight or Flow?

9. Managing Emotions  Managing Emotions means:  Don’t indulge  Don’t deny  Do use emotions to build richer relationships  Emotions are mind, body and energy events  Do you need to release pent up feelings? Source: Everyone Can Win, H. Cornelius & S. Faire

10. Managing Emotions  Unravelling a problem releases energy  Use focusing to find the core of the problem  Use anger as a fire for change...positive change!  The conclusions we draw about someone else’s behaviour are often the triggers for our own excessive emotional reactions Source: Everyone Can Win, H. Cornelius & S. Faire

11. Resolving the Conflict The questions to ask in resolving conflict are:  What is the issue, problem or conflict?  Who are the important parties in this conflict?  What interests underlie the problem?  Write down each person’s needs  Write down each person’s anxieties or fears  What anxieties/fears are influencing behaviour?  What areas do we have in common? Source: Everyone Can Win, H. Cornelius & S. Faire

12. Resolving the Conflict  From these answers we can map the conflict  Options can then be designed:  What are all the possibilities?  Which options give us both more of what we want? Source: Everyone Can Win, H. Cornelius & S. Faire

13. Acknowledgements  H. Cornelius and S. Faire, 1995, Everyone Can Win, Simon & Schuster, Australia  Avril Henry, 2006, Resolving Conflict Constructively Workshop, AH Revelations Pty Ltd

14. Avril Henry Managing Director Level 4, Suite 4.13 55 Miller Street Pyrmont NSW 2009 Phone: 02 9660 2400 Fax: 02 9660 2411 Email: enquiries@ahrevelations.com Web: www.avrilhenry.com.au