1. Brownlow Biaches 2005

2. Chris Judd and Rebecca Twigley He should be stripped of his Brownlow after making his missus put her cans away this year.

3. Jason Akermanis and wife Meagan That bow tie isn’t fooling anyone, Aker. You’re walking proof that money can’t buy class. Although it can buy implants…

4. Brisbane's Chris Johnson and wife Vanessa. 3/10 for effort, Vanessa; a matching handbag is usually a good starting point. And why are there party streamers hanging from your tits?

5. Richie Vandenberg and Jasmine Avitabile Who stole your neck, Richie?

6. Nick Dal Santo and Melanie Smerdon Always refreshing to see a Big Brother hack getting their mug on camera again. Nice cans though.

7. Kane Cornes and partner Lucy Gross Half-time entertainment courtesy of The Eurythmics.

8. Ben Rutten and Emily Cullen More quality from Adelaide. Does Cindy Lauper know you stole her dress?

9. Stephen Silvagni and wife Jo Well played, Jo. You can still poll a few Brownlow votes even at your age.

10. Nick Reiwoldt and Stephenie MacIntosh This isn't the Logies, Nick. Should have left the 19 year-old in the cubicles with a rolled- up 20...

11. Mark Johnson and partner Amy Newbold Nice package. 2 Brownlow votes.

12. Cameron Ling and “friend” www.dailyplanet.com

13. Daniel Cross and partner Samantha Mallia Wrong, wrong, wrong. Who do you think you are? Kermit the fu*king frog?

14. Eddie and Carla McGuire Hey Ed, nice to see your arm around your own woman for a change.

15. Nathan Buckley and wife Tania Thank God we didn’t have to look at your G-banger again, Tanya.

16. Luke Hodge and partner Lauren Kirkman It’s the Brownlow, Luke, not a Greek wedding. Have they got zips?

17. Ben Cousins and girlfriend Sam Druce What better way to celebrate winning a Brownlow than some back-door action.

18. Matthew Richardson and partner Merinda Jackson Richooooo! And a pearl necklace to boot…