1. Emotional Intelligence A Guide to How it Works

2. Did you ever know anyone? Who just didn’t get it? Said the wrong thing? Did the wrong thing? Couldn’t get along with anyone? Or everyone? Missed cues at meetings/parties That you just couldn’t be around Who drove you crazy!

3. How are you Feeling? What is an emotion? Why is it important? Learning to understand what you are feeling? How does it affect your mood? Our emotions and moods are contagious

4. Primary and Secondary Emotions Primary Joy Happiness Satisfaction Fulfillment Contentment Peace Fear Shame Sadness Hurt Guilt Frustration Dissatisfaction Disappointment -- happen in the moment/real time Secondary Disapproval Disdain Hatred Coldness Hostility Persecution Complex Paranoia Distrust Jealousy Worry Anxiety Insecurity Low Self Esteem Self-hatred Depression Anger/Rage --(complicated and built up)

5. Next… We know how we feel… What does it mean? Keep a journal of your emotions and your behaviors… When I am angry, I yell When I am sad, I cry When I am hurt, I shut down When I am overwhelmed, I make mistakes

6. Understand Emotions Learn how to be the best listener Watch others’ body language –What are they are really feeling? –What emotion is the tone conveying? Do their tones and their emotions match? Become more comfortable sharing your emotions

7. Thalamus Relay center between our conscious and subconscious Reacts appropriately Cortex Thinking center-makes Sense & sends messages Amygdala Regulates emotional responses Here is our chance to change behavior Understanding the Brain

8. How does EQ really work?

9. Our Response to Stress STRESS Traffic Impending deadline Yelling at work Worrying email/phone call Awakened by a scary noise Activation of “lower” brain regions Activation of “higher” brain regions Irrational, kneejerk reaction, entirely emotional “Scream and Yell” “Losing it” Calm response, combination of emotion and logic “Work to fix it” Bad news

10. The Key Ingredient: Empathy Asking questions to understand how others are feeling? How does your words/actions affect others? Anticipating how others are feeling?

11. Changing your Emotions How does a lucky rabbit foot make you feel? Has music ever changed your mood? A picture of your family? A smell of coffee? Listening to a story about someone who did something amazing? REPROGRAM OR REWIRE YOUR BRAIN: WHAT WORKS FOR YOU?

12. Controlling your Emotions Identify how you feel and then… Pause Walk away Take a deep breath Do a crossword puzzles, Sudoku, etc. Laugh Relax Paint, Draw, Cook

13. Emotionally Intelligent People… Are empathetic… care how others feel Are willing to change… and open to it Are positive people, that people want to be around Focus on achieving goals while motivating others

14. 14 06/29/2007 2:30pmeSlide - P4065 - WorkLife4You WorkLife4You Resources Emotional Health Web Service –Self-Improvement Library –Stress & Coping Library Interactive Quizzes Anxiety Test, Depression Test, Patience Test, Self-Esteem Test, Team vs. Individual Orientation Test Audio Tips and Podcasts Change in Uncertain Times HTML Articles Related Web Sites On Demand Webinars Emotional Intelligence, Happiness, The Positive Effects of Self-Esteem on Performance, Letting Go of Worry and Anxiety, Resiliency: How to Bounce Back from Adversity, Stress Management, Stress Management with Humor WorkLife4You Guides Communication Skills for Healthy Relationships, Conflict Resolution, Tips for a Healthy Marriage, Happiness, The Power of Positive Thinking, Stress Management, Stress Management for Customer Service Representatives WorkLife4You web site www.WorkLife4You.com www.WorkLife4You.com

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