1. A Basic Approach to Understanding Misbehavior Successful Solutions Professional Development LLC Chapter 2 Reasons for Misbehavior

2. Caregivers should respond to behaviors positively and respectfully. This module will discuss a variety of factors which may influence a child’s behavior and provide examples of appropriate ways that adults can respond to misbehavior. A Basic Approach to Understanding Misbehavior Chapter Topics

3. Child care providers are important role models for children and are in a position to help them acquire self regulation skills. GUIDANCE = goal is education and redirecting PUNISHMENT= goal is hurting, shaming or intimidating children Chapter 2 Reasons for Misbehavior A Basic Approach to Understanding Misbehavior

4. Children are not born with inner self-controls. They learn behaviors through observing the people in their lives. They need to learn to manage their feelings and emotions in socially acceptable ways. Chapter 2 Reasons for Misbehavior A Basic Approach to Understanding Misbehavior

5. Caregivers must respond to these behaviors positively and respectfully. Anything a child does is “behavior” and all behaviors of children are purposeful and happen for a reason. However, sometimes children behave in ways that are destructive, inappropriate, or otherwise unacceptable. Chapter 2 Reasons for Misbehavior A Basic Approach to Understanding Misbehavior

6. When disciplining children, you can use a number of strategies. The strategy you choose depends on the temperament of the child, his age, and his reason for misbehavior. Remember, the goal of discipline is to teach children to take responsibility for their actions and to exercise self-control. Chapter 2 Reasons for Misbehavior A Basic Approach to Understanding Misbehavior

7. Your goal as a provider is for children to behave in a responsible way. The goals of positive discipline are to help children: Learn to make good choices Learn problem solving skills Learn basic human values of respect, trust, responsibility, honesty, and caring for others Children misbehave for a number of reasons. There are questions to ask yourself as you think about their misbehavior. Chapter 2 Reasons for Misbehavior A Basic Approach to Understanding Misbehavior

8. Unmet Emotional Needs Does the child get enough attention? Are the child's feelings respected? Does the child receive enough structure and guidance from adults? Does the child feel capable? Chapter 2 Reasons for Misbehavior A Basic Approach to Understanding Misbehavior

9. Is the child expected to do activities or follow rules that he is too young or old to follow? Inappropriate expectations for the developmental stage of the child. Chapter 2 Reasons for Misbehavior A Basic Approach to Understanding Misbehavior

10. Family dynamics Is the child's behavior a reflection of the way he's treated at home? Chapter 2 Reasons for Misbehavior A Basic Approach to Understanding Misbehavior

11. Inappropriate environment Is the environment set up so that it is easy for children to behave? Chapter 2 Reasons for Misbehavior A Basic Approach to Understanding Misbehavior

12. Difference in temperament Is the child's misbehavior a result of a temperamental trait? Chapter 2 Reasons for Misbehavior A Basic Approach to Understanding Misbehavior

13. Situation Is the child simply responding to an incident that just happened? (e.g., a classmate taking his crayon). Chapter 2 Reasons for Misbehavior A Basic Approach to Understanding Misbehavior

14. Unclear rules Does the child know how he is expected to behave? Chapter 2 Reasons for Misbehavior A Basic Approach to Understanding Misbehavior

15. Boredom Is the child interested in the activity? Chapter 2 Reasons for Misbehavior A Basic Approach to Understanding Misbehavior

16. Unmet physical needs Is the child tired, hungry, or sick? Chapter 2 Reasons for Misbehavior A Basic Approach to Understanding Misbehavior

17. If you understand these goals of misbehavior, you can change your reactions to the behaviors and in many cases can change the behaviors of the child. The goals of the misbehavior are subconscious to the child. The child is not deliberately acting in negative ways. The child is using unsuccessful methods of filling unmet needs. Further reasons for mistaken behavior can be broken down into four basic categories. Four common needs behind misbehavior are discussed in the following pages. Chapter 2 Reasons for Misbehavior A Basic Approach to Understanding Misbehavior

18. The child may be feeling left out or ignored and the goal of the child is to get the attention from the caregiver. Attention getting is the most common need behind mistaken behavior. ATTENTION GETTING A good example of this is the child who constantly interrupts and wants to talk to you while you are talking with someone else. Chapter 2 Reasons for Misbehavior A Basic Approach to Understanding Misbehavior

19. Caregivers can identify attention-getting behavior by their own initial emotional response. Usually the caregiver feels irritated or annoyed. The best strategy is to ignore the mistaken behavior and to “catch that child being good”. ATTENTION GETTING Chapter 2 Reasons for Misbehavior A Basic Approach to Understanding Misbehavior

20. An example might be that you are working with Maria, who is trying to master tying her shoes. Eric is standing by you, interrupting you as you speak to Maria, and wants you to come read a story to him. You say to Eric, “Eric, I am helping Maria right now, but I would love to come read a story with you. Would you like to read the story to yourself while you wait, or would you like to play at the sensory table until I can read with you?” ATTENTION GETTING Once you are finished helping Maria, you go over to Eric and tell him, “Thank you for being so patient while I was helping Maria. Let’s read that story!” Chapter 2 Reasons for Misbehavior A Basic Approach to Understanding Misbehavior

21. This strategy allowed you to work with Maria, did not give Eric attention for his annoying behavior, and reinforced his positive, patient behavior. ATTENTION GETTING Chapter 2 Reasons for Misbehavior A Basic Approach to Understanding Misbehavior

22. The child is asking for more control over his or her own life. Usually a caregiver can identify this goal because the caregiver feels angry, frustrated, or fearful in response to the child’s actions. Power and Control are other common needs behind mistaken behavior. POWER OR CONTROL A common example of this is the child who says, “No!” and refuses to do what is asked. This child wants to be given choices. An example of the power struggle is the child who refuses to help at clean-up time. Chapter 2 Reasons for Misbehavior A Basic Approach to Understanding Misbehavior

23. A knowing caregiver would give the child appropriate choices such as: “Would you like to put away the markers by yourself or would you like me to help you?” (Notice, the caregiver did NOT say, “You have to put them away. If you don’t, you have to go to time-out.”) This gives the child the power over his/her choice. “Do you want to pick up the cars or the blocks?” POWER OR CONTROL Chapter 2 Reasons for Misbehavior A Basic Approach to Understanding Misbehavior

24. “The children are getting ready to go inside. Would you like to go in now or would you like an extra two minutes to play?” “Would you like to hold the door for everyone or would you rather hold my hand as we go in?” Another example might be the child who refuses to come in after playing outside. Appropriate choices include: POWER OR CONTROL Chapter 2 Reasons for Misbehavior A Basic Approach to Understanding Misbehavior

25. The important thing to remember when giving choices is that the choices must always be acceptable to you. The caregiver selects the choices for the child. The child chooses within the options given by the caregiver. POWER OR CONTROL Chapter 2 Reasons for Misbehavior A Basic Approach to Understanding Misbehavior

26. You usually see this in a child who is already angry and feeling hurt. The goal of the child is to hurt back. REVENGE This child needs lots of positive attention and choices. You should make a conscious effort to catch the child being good. Make sure to give the child choices when power struggles arise. Revenge is another goal of misbehavior. Chapter 2 Reasons for Misbehavior A Basic Approach to Understanding Misbehavior

27. Also, you need to work at establishing a positive relationship with this child. You can identify revenge as the goal because you feel hurt and angry too. REVENGE Once the child feels respected and accepted, receives praise for good behavior, and is allowed control over his or her life by being given choices, the behavior will gradually disappear. Chapter 2 Reasons for Misbehavior A Basic Approach to Understanding Misbehavior

28. You will recognize this behavior because you will feel at a loss as to what to do. A strategy to work with this child is to carefully plan esteem-building activities that allow the child to be successful and continue to build upon these experiences. Slowly the child will learn that she or he is capable and will gradually start taking on challenges by herself or himself. AVOIDANCE OF FAILURE Avoidance of failure may be the hardest behavior to change. The child feels inadequate and unable to achieve. This child has usually experienced many failures and has given up. Chapter 2 Reasons for Misbehavior A Basic Approach to Understanding Misbehavior

29. In order to thrive, all children need to feel nurtured, be accepted for who they are, and shown respect for their feelings. Chapter 2 Reasons for Misbehavior A Basic Approach to Understanding Misbehavior

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