1. Get it Right Get it Done Get Along Get Attention Task Focus
People Focus
Passive
Aggressive
Intent:
Get it Right
Get it Done
Get Along
Get Attention
Brinkman, R. and Kirschner, R. (2004) Dealing With People You Can’t Stand
New York, McGraw-Hill

2. Normal Zone Get it Right Get it Done Get Along Get Appreciated
When intent is not being met,
people will become more…
Task Focus
People Focus
Passive
Aggressive
Intent:
Get it Right
Get it Done
Get Along
Get Appreciated
Perfectionist
Controlling
Attention Getting
Approval Seeking
Normal
Zone
Less Assertive
More Assertive
Brinkman, R. and Kirschner, R. (2004)
Dealing With People You Can’t Stand New York, McGraw-Hill

3. Some Propositions We have practiced and learned patterns of behaviour
Every behaviour has a purpose or intent
We choose behaviours (like we choose clothes to wear) to further our intent.

4. Some Options
Do nothing
Walk away
Change your attitude to them
Change your behaviour

5. Skilful Communication
Blending - to reduce differences
Listen to understand and find things in common
Show you understand
Play back, clarify, summarise and confirm.
Redirect - to build rapport
Listen to identify positive and real intent
Identify criteria that is valued
State your positive intent
Appreciate criticism.

6. Some Approaches Behavioural Types Characteristics Approaches Whiner No
Unfair world
Nothing ever right
Helpless/Overwhelmed
Form problem solving alliance
Listen and interrupt
Get specific
Shift focus to solutions
Show the future
Draw the line No
Negative
No solutions/way out
Can be mild mannered
Move to problem solving
Go with flow
Use person as resource
Leave the door open
Acknowledge good intent
Nothing
Says little
No feedback
No reaction
Get them to talk
Plan enough time
Open questions
Lighten up

7. Some Approaches Behavioural Types Characteristics Approaches Tank
Confrontational
Pointed and angry
Pushy and aggressive
Command respect
Hold your ground
Interrupt the attack
Play back main points
Aim for bottom line
Peace with honour
Sniper
Rude
Sarcastic
Scoffing
Bring out of hiding
Stop, look, play back
Use questioning
Look for grievances
Suggest ‘civil’ future
Know-it-All
Dislikes correction
Black is white
Blames others
Open their minds
Be prepared
Respectful play back
Present views indirectly
Turn them into a mentor

8. Some Approaches Behavioural Types Characteristics Approaches Grenade
Unfocused ranting
Calm between raving
Take control of situation
Get their attention
Aim for the heart
Reduce intensity
Try prevention
Maybe
Indecisive
Procrastination
Decision makes itself
Help them learn to think decisively
Establish comfort zone
Clarify options/conflicts
Focus on decision making
Reassure and follow-up
Strengthen relationship
Yes
Avoid confrontation
Please people
Over commit
Get commitments to count on
Make it safe to be honest
Help plan and prioritise
Ensure commitment