1. Do You Hear What I Hear? How to be a good listener

2. “Take a tip from nature- your ears aren’t made to be shut, but your mouth is.” Unknown “Nature gave us one tongue and two ears so we could hear twice as much as we speak” Epictetus

3. We listen at 125-250 words per minute We think at 1000-3000 words per minute

4. Payoffs of good listening Gain knowledge Receive better work and cooperation from others Can help win and keep friends Solve problems and resolve conflict Reduce tension Increase enjoyment in life Strengthen family relationships

5. Some interesting statistics 85% of what we know, we learned by listening 75% of the time we are distracted, preoccupied or forgetful We recall about 50% immediately after we listen to someone talk We spend about 45% of time listening We remember about 20% of what we hear

6. Do you speak like a dolphin or a killer whale?

7. Poor Listening Styles Spacing out Pretend listening Selective listening Word listening Self-centered listening –Judging –Advising –Probing

8. Genuine Listening 1.Listen with your eyes, heart and ears 2.Stand in their shoes 3.Practice mirroring

9. Genuine Listening

10. History repeats itself because no one listened the first time. anonymous

11. What do you mean? I didn’t say you had an attitude problem

12. Genuine Listening 1.Listen with your eyes, heart and ears 2.Stand in their shoes 3.Practice mirroring

13. Genuine Listening 1.Listen with your eyes, heart and ears 2.Stand in their shoes 3.Practice mirroring

14. Mirroring vs. Mimicking Mimicking is... repeating words using the same words cold and indifferent Mirroring is... repeating meaning using your own words warm and caring

15. Mirroring Phrases As I get it, you felt So, as I see it I can see that you’re feeling You feel that So, what you are saying is

16. Reactive vs. Reflective Allow own thoughts, feelings or opinions to take over conversation More concerned with what they want to say that what the other person is telling them. Focus on their own reactions rather than the feeling and needs of speaker. Concentrate on the feelings, opinions and concerns that are being expressed by the other person. Avoid interrupting the other person to comment on what he or she is saying Focus on what the speaker is saying in order to understand it.

17. See First to Understand, and then be Understood Practicing listening is only the first half. Share your feelings. If you take the time to listen, chances of being listened to are very good.

18. A good listener is a good talker with a sore throat! Katharine Whitehorn

19. Resources The 7 Habits of Highly Effective Teens, Sean Covey, Fireside, 1998. Teaching Resources for Youth Educators Communications Source Book:. 4-H Youth Development Building Bridges Curriculum, University of Wisconsin Extension, 877-947-7827 Life Lists for Teens, Pamela Espeland, Free Spirit Publishing, 2003. The Communications Toolkit, Michigan State University Extension, 310 Ag. Hall, East Lansing, MI, 48824, 517-432-1555, $25.00