1. Chapter 7 Emotions & Communication
What am I feeling? Is that right?
How do I constructively express feelings?

2. Saarni & Goleman Saarni-first originated emotional competence
Goleman-capitalized on it with Emotional Intelligence, the IQ of emotional competency

3. What are Emotions? 4 Components
1. Physiological-bodily changes occur
2. Nonverbal reactions-observable changes-
Powerful way in expressing/conveying emotions
3. Cognitive interpretations-the mind’s role in
determining emotional state
4. Verbal expression-sometimes words are necessary
& cannot rely on perceptiveness to sure you are
understood accurately

4. Different Degrees of Intensity
Annoyed
Angry
Furious
Content
Happy
Ecstatic
Anxious
Afraid
Terrified
Liking
Loving
Adoring

5. Influences on Emotions
Physiological
ORGANISMIC-James & Lange
Physical first, then emotions-most instinctual
Example: Almost hit garbage on freeway—swerve—heart racing, sweaty palms, etc.--FEAR
Stimulus
Physiological
Response
Emotion

6. Influences on Emotions
Perceptual
APPRAISAL THEORY
Subjective perceptions shape external phenomena, gaining meaning only as we attribute significance to them
Example: Taking a test—low test score—not very smart—
(event) (perception of event) (interpretation)
disappointment/shame, etc.
(response)

7. Influences on Emotions
COGNITIVE LABELING-how you label the physiological response –use of language
Example: Taking a test—low test score—anxious—
(event) (physiological-knot-in-stomach) (label response w/ language)
disappointment/shame, etc.
(response-comes from label not perception)

8. Social Influences Hochschild-Interactive View of Emotions
Framing Rules-define emotional meaning
Feeling Rules-right to feel or expected to feel
Deep Acting-control inner feelings
Surface Acting-control outward expression
Emotion Work-effort made to think about what is appropriate in situations-allows engaging in deep acting

9. Obstacles Social Expectations Vulnerability-Risky/disky
Gender
Vulnerability-Risky/disky
Protecting Others
Social & Professional Roles

10. Why We are Ineffective in Expressing our Emotions
1. Speaking in Generalities-What does the speaker really feel?
General & abstract statements
“I feel bad”, “I’m happy”, “I’m fine”, “I’m frustrated”
Angry, confused, hurt, anxious, disappointed, etc.
Tend to recognize only a few emotions leaving us with limited emotional vocab to clearly communicate

11. More Ineffectiveness Not owning feelings Use too much “you” language
You made me !
Need to reword statement to make it your own
I feel angry when you do not follow through on what you say you will do.
I feel (emotion) when you (describe the behavior).

12. Ineffectiveness cont.
Counterfeit Emotional Language-language that seems to express emotions but does not actually describe what a person is feeling.
Why can’t you leave me alone!-no feeling
That’s just how I feel!-figure it out first
I feel this discussion is getting off onto another subject.-states a thought not a feeling

13. Exercise-Find the Feeling
This was a great evening!
You’re being awfully sensitive about that.
I can’t figure out how to approach him.
I’m confused about what you want from me.
I don’t know how to tell you this…
I feel as if you’re trying to hurt me.
It’s hopeless.
I feel like the rug has been pulled out from under me.

14. Re-Write to Exercise

15. Facilitative vs Debilitative
Contribute to effective functioning Vs
Detract from effective functioning
Characteristics:
intensity
duration

16. Irrational Thinking & Debilitative Emotions
Fallacy of Perfection Fallacy of Approval Fallacy of Shoulds Fallacy of Overgeneralization Fallacy of Causation Fallacy of Helplessness Fallacy of Catastrophic Expectations

17. Minimizing Debilitative Emotions
Monitor emotional reactions Note the activating event Record your self-talk Reappraise your irrational beliefs