1. Writing Creatively Objective: (Writing Af5) To develop our skills in varying our sentences in order to keep our work interesting and effective.

2. Why is this relevant? For many of us, this is our last portfolio target for writing. Af5 is a key skill in climbing to the level above your current stage of attainment. No one likes reading boring writing. Get this right for Year 10..

3. Where are we? In the next three minutes, find the piece of persuasive writing you did last lesson. Discuss with your partner: What features of your work helped you in getting a level 5 or more? What elements of it were you disappointed with? What are you going to concentrate on in this lesson to enable you to progress?

4. Today ’ s Task You are going to write the continuation of one of two pieces that we’re going to look at now. Either: 1.A piece of detective fiction. 2.A piece of romantic fiction. (remember Af5 is the focus..)

5. It wasn’t my fault I was with these two jokers both of them had been assigned to me because basically they were useless everywhere else we were at the holiday complex because we’d had a tip off as I took the counterfeit note from the guy at the desk of the Tropicana Hotel I had no idea that he was here in the same building He said he was in room 2010 all at once I felt my throat go tight and my hands clench with excitement I was about to collar him and he had no idea I was coming up no idea at all I entered the room well ahead of my men I was going to humiliate Swartz in the way that he’d humiliated me imagine my surprise. The room was empty only the insistent whine of the air conditioning interrupted the silence and shackled my breathing It was only at that point at that very splice of a second that I realised I had no idea what this guy looked like I was hoping that the stain of shame on his face when he saw me would give him away some hope there was someone in the bathroom my gun was already trained on his head when he came out one twitch from my trigger finger and he’d have been flopping like a fish on the linoleum floor of the bathroom I didn’t shoot I was frozen in time he walked towards the gun and as I backed off he kept walking..

6. It wasn’t my fault I was with these two jokers. Both of them had been assigned to me because, basically, they were useless everywhere else. We were at the holiday complex because we’d had a tip off. As I took the cheque from the guy at the desk of the Tropicana Hotel I had no idea that he was here. In the same building. He said he was in room 2010. All at once I felt my throat go tight and my hands clench with excitement. I was about to collar him. He had no idea I was coming up. No idea at all. I entered the room well ahead of my men. I was going to humiliate Swartz in the way that he’d humiliated me. Imagine my surprise. The room was empty. It was only at that point, at that very splice of a second that I realised I had no idea what this guy looked like. I was hoping that the stain of shame on his face when he saw me would give him away. Some hope. There was someone in the bathroom. My gun was already trained on his head when he came out. One twitch from my trigger finger and he’d have been flopping like a fish on the linoleum floor of the bathroom. I didn’t shoot. I was frozen in time. He walked towards the gun and; as I backed off, he kept walking..

7. It was conclusive then I was an idiot in the all time top ten of big mistakes I had just charted at Number One no slow progress through little misdemeanours like shutting my brother’s fingers in the car door, stapling Josh Paton’s tie to the desk or cycling blindfold through my neighbour’s greenhouse this was much, much worse than all of that. The truth was that I did love him completely I loved the nearness of him The sound of him and, what else? Oh, yes; I loved the idea of him the staggering, stuttering, staccato of breath which paralysed me when he was near was overwhelming and beautiful all at the same time I couldn’t utter a single sound if you had asked me my name I would have referred you to my doctor I had no idea who I was only what I needed I needed him to love me back I decided to leave him things clues if words would insist on becoming liquid elastic and continue to drip and stretch when I needed them, I’d use something a little more concrete so I’d wrapped up my favourite c.d. in anonymous brown paper and left it for him on the doorstep of his parent’s house everyone knew it was me I’ll never forget the coughing of nerves in my chest as I laid down my gift on the tiled steps I’ll never forget the cold piercing chill of rejection when I saw it there still three days later.

8. It was conclusive then. I was an idiot. In the all time top ten of big mistakes I had just charted at Number One. No slow progress through little misdemeanours; like shutting my brother’s fingers in the car door, stapling Josh Paton’s tie to the desk or cycling blindfold through my neighbour’s greenhouse. This was much, much worse than all of that. The truth was that I did love him completely; I loved the nearness of him. The sound of him and, what else? Oh, yes; I loved the idea of him. The staggering, stuttering, staccato of breath which paralysed me when he was near was overwhelming and beautiful all at the same time. I couldn’t utter a single sound. If you had asked me my name, I would have referred you to my doctor. I had no idea who I was; only what I needed. I needed him to love me back. I decided to leave him things. Clues. If words would insist on becoming liquid elastic and continue to drip and stretch when I needed them, I’d use something a little more; concrete. So I’d wrapped up my favourite c.d. in anonymous brown paper and left it for him on the doorstep of his parent’s house. Everyone knew it was me. I’ll never forget the coughing of nerves in my chest as I laid down my gift on the tiled steps. I’ll never forget the cold piercing chill of rejection when I saw it there still; three days later.

9. Now You Try: Using which ever extract you like either: Continue the story Re-write the opening Create your own narrative BUT FOCUS ON HOW YOU VARY YOUR SENTENCES FOR CLARITY AND ENTERTAINMENT.

10. Now You Try: Level 7: Focus on varying sentences, but also build in innovative verb phrases and poetic devices for interest. Level 6: Think about the pace of your writing. Use shorter sentences to slow the reader down or increase tension longer ones to keep the pace up. Level 5: Check every paragraph to ensure you’ve varied your sentences.