1. Building an Emotional Bank Account † Staying Connected with Each Other.

2. What we will do together. 20 min introduction & small group discussion 15 min role play & observation 10 min small group discussion & conclusion

3. Small group discussion If you are married, how do you stay connected with your spouse? If you are not married, how do you stay connected with your best friend? Read on the handout the list of everyday activities together. Discuss together examples you can implement in your own life (in small group or with your spouse). Discuss in your small group the importance of a daily chat. What kind of ‘threats’ are there in your lives that prevent you from having this connecting time? (f.e. social media)

4. Small group discussion Read through the 8 guidelines of having a daily conversation, and pick at least 2 you that will improve your conversations the most. Homework: Make a conscious decision to start a new daily (or weekly) tradition with your friends/spouse and promise yourself to give it priority in your life!

5. Gottman’s Top Relationship Tips Edit yourself Soften your ‘start up’ Learn to repair and exit the argument

6. Communication Rules & Skills “Speaking is silver; silence (listening) is gold.” Proverbs 2:5 Listening Rule: Try to understand the other person. Skills: Reflect content & emotions, use silence, showing empathy. Speaking Rule: Be concrete about yourself, share positive & negative. Skills: Give examples, be specific, ask questions

7. Observation Points 1.General idea of conversation? Positive remarks, things you miss…. 2.Do both persons try to understand each other? 3.Are both people clear about what they share, also about their feelings? 4.The listening skills used are …. 5.The speaking skills are….. 6.What is the main thing you have learned from this observation for your own communication?

8. General advice: Staying Connected Mind’s eye Meals together without distractions Communicate your affection (Love Languages) Choose the right moment Tip: tissue in your hand to take turns Pick your fight