1. Revising Sentences and Paragraphs Module Sixteen Copyright © 2014 by The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc. All rights reserved. McGraw-Hill/Irwin

2. Learning Objectives LO 16-1 Define good style in business messages. LO 16-2 Demonstrate appropriate tone in business messages. LO 16-3 Differentiate rules from writing habits and conventions. 16-2

3. Learning Objectives LO 16-4 Apply strategies for sentence revision. LO 16-5 Apply strategies for paragraph revision. LO 16-6 Synthesize style with organizational culture. 16-3

4. What is “good” style?  Use friendly, conversational words.  Avoid contractions, slang, and even minor grammatical lapses.  Edit your writing to sound confident, even in uncomfortable situations.  Allow for some individual variation 16-4

5. Different Levels of Style 16-5

6. Using the Right Tone  Business writing should be businesslike and friendly.  In the past 50 years, social distance in the United States has decreased.  Tone is the implied attitude of the speaker or writer toward what the words say. 16-6

7. Are there rules I should follow?  None of the following is necessarily true— decide what is appropriate based on audience and discourse community:  “Write what “sounds” good.”  “Never use I.”  “Use big words.” 16-7

8. Are there rules I should follow? 16-8 Get a clean page or screen. Try WIRMI (What I really mean is) Read the draft aloud to someone. Ask someone else to read it to you. Read widely and a lot. Use the techniques on the next slide.

9. What should I look for when I revise sentences?  Use active verbs most of the time.  Use verbs to carry the weight of your sentence  Tighten your writing 16-9

10. What should I look for when I revise sentences?  Vary sentence length and sentence structure  Use parallel structure  Put your readers in your sentences 16-10

11. What should I look for when I revise sentences? Use verbs to present the information more forcefully. Weak: We will perform an investigation of the problem. Better: We will investigate the problem. Weak: Selection of a program should be based on the client’s needs. Better: Select the program that best fits the client’s needs. 16-11

12. Tighten Your Writing  Eliminate words that say nothing  Use gerunds and infinitives to make sentences shorter and smoother  Combine sentences to eliminate unnecessary words  Put the meaning of your sentence into the subject and verb 16-12

13. Vary Sentence Length and Sentence Structure  Simple sentences have one main clause  Compound sentences have two main clauses joined with and, but, or, or another conjunction.  Complex sentences have one main and one subordinate clause 16-13

14. Eliminate Repeated Words in Parallel Lists 16-14

15. Use Parallelism to Tighten Your Writing 16-15

16. What should I look for when I revise paragraphs?  Begin most paragraphs with topic sentences  Use transitions to link ideas 16-16

17. Transition Words and Phrases 16-17

18. How does organizational culture affect style?  Use the techniques in this module  Help your boss (or co-worker) learn about writing  Recognize that style may serve purposes other than communication  Ask 16-18