1. Tighten that Writin’ Clear, Coherent, Cohesive, What You Will

2. Make the Most of Your Words Let’s look at your current writing assignment. Each memory/event must have: ◦ 3 uses of specific diction ◦ More than 3 different examples of figurative language ◦ 3 different uses of imagery ◦ 1 allusion

3. Look at the following sentences (This is where sentence combining will come in handy) I always loved seeing my favorite aunt. From the time I was young, when I saw her, I felt like a kid at Disney World. I would even scream with delight. It does contain an allusion, imagery and a simile. But let’s consider tightening the language. And let’s change a word for more effective diction.

4. Try this. Seeing my favorite aunt always made me squeal with delight like a kid at Disney World. This still contains the imagery, allusion and figurative language (simile), but the language is tightened, and it contains better diction. You get more language (bang) for your writing (buck).

5. Tightening Your Writing It is usually easiest after you’ve written your initial paragraphs. Tightening your writing involves: ◦ Revision for concise language ◦ Combining sentences ◦ Inserting specific phrases to tweak for figurative language, allusions and imagery

6. The Next Steps The next few slides are in no particular order. They are just to show you the process of revising your writing to get the most effective but concise language.

7. Sentence to start with: Christmas has always been a special holiday to me, but I think fall is becoming my new favorite time of year.

8. First add imagery : Jingling Christmas carols have always made it special to me, but I think the cooler fall air is awesome, too. This has added sound (jingling Christmas carols) and touch (the cooler fall air).

9. Now add the figurative language. Jingling Christmas carols have always made it special to me, but I think the cooler fall air is winning me over. By changing the last few words, I’ve added personification.

10. Now add the allusion and consider the diction. Jingling carols, the profusion of red and green and Kris Cringle have always made the Christmas season special to me, but I think the cooler fall air is winning me over. Allusion Diction—in this case, profusion is a stronger word for abundance; red and green are everywhere, especially during this season

11. Now let’s tighten it up. Despite its jingling carols, profusion of red and green and Kris Cringle, Christmas is its losing the battle as my favorite season because the cooler fall air is winning me over. It still contains imagery, diction, figurative language and an allusion.

12. Here are a couple for you to try: Las Vegas has always been an appealing city. The beach is a place we visited a lot when I was younger. My cat Sadie reminds me of a spider monkey. The yard has a rainbow of colorful flowers.