1. Chapter 4: Coaching, Counseling and Supportive Communication
What did you say?

2. Objectives Differentiate between coaching and counseling problems
Avoid defensiveness and disconfirmation in interpersonal communication
Improve ability to apply principles of supportive communication
Improve work relationships by using personal management interviews
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3. Communication Facts Communication ability determines promotability
Communication quality between managers and employees is often low
80 percent of a manager’s day is spent in verbal communication
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4. Effective Communication
Accurate, complete shared meaning – what sender means is what receiver gets
Supportive – relationship between sender and receiver is enhanced by communication
Timely – message arrives when receiver can use information
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5. Relationship Between Unskillful Communication and Interpersonal Relationships
Abrasive, insensitive, unskillful message delivery
Distant, distrustful, uncaring interpersonal relationships
Restricted, inaccurate information and defective communication flow 5
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6. Managerial Communications
Coaching
giving advice, direction or information to improve performance
“I can help you do something better”
Counseling
helping someone understand and resolve a problem him/herself by displaying understanding
“I can help you recognize that a problem exists”
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7. Obstacles to Effective Interpersonal Communication
DEFENSIVENESS
One individual feels threatened or attacked as a result of the communication
Self-protection becomes paramount
Energy is spent on constructing a defense rather than on listening
Aggression, anger, competitiveness, and/or avoidance as a result of the communication
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8. Obstacles to Effective Interpersonal Communications
DISCONFIRMATION
One individual feels incompetent, unworthy, or insignificant as a result of the communication
Attempts to reestablish self-worth take precedence
Energy is spent trying to portray self-importance rather than on listening
Showing off, self-centered behavior, withdrawal, and/or loss of motivation are common reactions
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9. Supportive Communication Principles
Problem-oriented, not person-oriented
“How can we solve this problem?”
NOT “Because of you there is a problem.”
Based on congruence, not incongruence
“Your behavior really upset me.”
NOT “Do I seem upset? No, everything’s fine.”
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10. Supportive Communication Principles
Descriptive, not evaluative
“Here is what happened; here is my reaction; here is what I suggest that would be more acceptable to me.”
NOT “You are wrong for doing what you did.”
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11. Supportive Communication Principles
Validating, not invalidating
“I have some ideas, but do you have any suggestions?”
NOT “You wouldn’t understand me, so we’ll do it my way.”
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12. Supportive Communication Principles
Specific, not global
“You interrupted me three times during the meeting.”
NOT “You’re always trying to get attention.”
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13. Supportive Communication Principles
Conjunctive, not disjunctive
“Relating to what you just said, I’d like to discuss this.”
NOT “I want to discuss this (regardless of what you want to discuss).”
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14. Supportive Communication Principles
Owned, not disowned
“I’ve decided to turn down your request because….”
NOT “You have a pretty good idea, but they just wouldn’t approve it.”
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15. Supportive Communication Principles
Involves listening, not just talking
“What do you think are the obstacles standing in the way of improvement?”
NOT “As I said before, you make too many mistakes. You’re just not doing the job.”
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16. Response Types DIRECTIVE RESPONSE Generally useful when coaching
NONDIRECTIVE RESPONSE
Generally useful when counseling
Advising, Deflecting, Probing, Reflecting
OPEN RESPONSE
Generally useful during early stages of discussion
CLOSED RESPONSE
Generally useful during later stages of discussion
Advising, Deflecting, Probing, Reflecting
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17. Personal Management Interview (PMI)
Regularly scheduled, one-on-one meeting between manager and subordinate
Meeting is designed to assist in continuous improvement
Action items are generated and followed up
Communication is supportive and two-way
Generally takes about an hour
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18. Communicating Supportively: Behavioral Guidelines
Differentiate between coaching and counseling situations
Use problem-oriented statements
Be congruent
Use descriptive, not evaluative, statements
Use validating statements
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19. Communicating Supportively: Behavioral Guidelines
Use specific, conjunctive statements
Own your statements
Demonstrate supportive listening
Implement a personal management interview program
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20. An Analysis of “Find Somebody Else”
STATEMENT
1. Ron
2. Mike
3. Ron
4. Mike
5. Ron
6. Mike
Etc..
ANALYSIS OF PRINCIPLES
Tends to be evaluative, so will cause defensiveness. Owns rather than disowns feedback.
Indicates defensiveness; person oriented; confrontive approach with produce defensiveness.
Attempts to be problem oriented, validating, and descriptive.
Still person oriented; global, not specific; non-supportive listening.
Evaluative; advising rather than asking for alternatives’ implied accusations; non-specific.
Defensive; non-specific; avoids discussing problem definition or problem solutions.
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