1. PRINCE GEORGE’S COUNTY PUBLIC SCHOOLS www.pgcps.org Communicating with Students to Increase Academic Success Nichole Hobbs, School Psychologist/Liaison PGSMHI Tawana Doggett, Mental Health Clinician May 18, 2009

2. PRINCE GEORGE’S COUNTY PUBLIC SCHOOLS www.pgcps.org 2 Prince George’s County Board of Education Verjeana M. Jacobs, Esq., Chair Ron L. Watson, Jr., Ph.D., Vice Chair Donna Hathaway Beck Pat J. Fletcher Heather Iliff R. Owen Johnson, Jr. Rosalind A. Johnson Linda Thornton Thomas Amber P. Waller Haywood L. Perry, III, Student Member WILLIAM R. HITE, JR., ED.D. Superintendent

3. PRINCE GEORGE’S COUNTY PUBLIC SCHOOLS www.pgcps.org 3 Purpose, Process, Payoff Purpose: Provide professional development to school staff by the PGSMHI Process: Presentation will be delivered to the school staff at Isaac Gourdine Middle School during teacher planning time throughout the month of May. Payoff: To provide information to ensure that all employees are effective and students’ environments are conducive to learning

4. PRINCE GEORGE’S COUNTY PUBLIC SCHOOLS www.pgcps.org 4 Workshop Outline Introduction & Icebreaker Definition Types of Communication Ways to Communicate Positively How to Communicate During Conflicts How to Avoid Negative Communication Communication Builders Discussion/ Questions?

5. PRINCE GEORGE’S COUNTY PUBLIC SCHOOLS www.pgcps.org 5 Communication is ….. the sending, giving, or exchanging of information and ideas from one person to another. Not just “What do I want?” but “Why do I want it?” What do you see?

6. PRINCE GEORGE’S COUNTY PUBLIC SCHOOLS www.pgcps.org 6 Types Of Communication Verbal Talking Non-Verbal Facial Gestures Body language Appearance

7. PRINCE GEORGE’S COUNTY PUBLIC SCHOOLS www.pgcps.org 7 What is your communication style? Passive Passive-Aggressive Aggressive Assertive Verbal Non-Verbal Emotional Cognitive How do people react to your style?

8. PRINCE GEORGE’S COUNTY PUBLIC SCHOOLS www.pgcps.org 8 The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People Knowledge (what to, why to) Desire (want to) Skills (how to) Habits

9. PRINCE GEORGE’S COUNTY PUBLIC SCHOOLS www.pgcps.org 9 Positive Communication 9 Inviting Helps open the door to students’ examining and understanding the painful feelings behind their ineffective behavior. Builds positive views of others. Promotes problem solving Individuals manage emotions

10. PRINCE GEORGE’S COUNTY PUBLIC SCHOOLS www.pgcps.org 10 Active Listening Learn how to really listen. Teachers have to be active listeners. Active listening includes: Staying focused on what is being said. Empathize and try to remain calm during conversation. Encourage your students to really say what is on his mind.

11. PRINCE GEORGE’S COUNTY PUBLIC SCHOOLS www.pgcps.org 11 Questions phrased as statement…. 11 The student can answer, give a nonverbal response, or just listen. “Looks like you’re having a tough day.” “Little things can feel like big things when there’s something on your mind.” “Students can get upset at school when they’re worried about something at home.” (question by displacement)

12. PRINCE GEORGE’S COUNTY PUBLIC SCHOOLS www.pgcps.org 12 Constructive Questioning….. 12 Can’t be answered yes/no Begin with words like How and Can Encourage the student to respond not just to the question but also to the communication process Require us to be able to tolerate and listen to the student’s negative feelings “How can I be helpful right now?” “Can you tell me what happened to make you so upset?”

13. PRINCE GEORGE’S COUNTY PUBLIC SCHOOLS www.pgcps.org 13 Constructive Encouragement Seek First to Understand, then to be Understood Focuses on effort and/or strategies (process) rather than on ability or product Effort example: “Wow, Tony, you’ve really made improvements on your behavior chart this week! I can tell how hard you’ve been trying to get to class on time!” Nonexample: “Tony, your behavior chart finally looks respectable! See, you can do it! If you’d only try like this all the time...”

14. PRINCE GEORGE’S COUNTY PUBLIC SCHOOLS www.pgcps.org 14 Constructive Encouragement Uses phrases such as “you are working on” and “you are learning to” Doesn’t deny the reality that the student’s present performance leaves much to be desired Doesn’t reinforce feelings of inadequacy by reminding the student of how well he/she could do if the student just tried Validates steps the student is taking NOW to master a task and thus helps the student see the connection between effort and positive outcomes 14

15. PRINCE GEORGE’S COUNTY PUBLIC SCHOOLS www.pgcps.org 15 The secret component in constructive encouragement Persuasion = trying to talk the student into displaying a desired behavior Example: “You should be doing your work instead of acting up like this!” Attribution = communicating that the student is already displaying the desired behavior or is trying to do so Example: “I can see you’re making a real effort to get your work in on time!” Promoting Positive Behaviors Through Attribution (ESI, 1999)

16. PRINCE GEORGE’S COUNTY PUBLIC SCHOOLS www.pgcps.org 16 Summary: Positive Communication Make eye contact. Eliminate distractions. Listen with a closed mouth. Let your student know they have been heard. Keep conversations brief. Ask the right questions. Express your own feelings. Admit it when you don’t know something.

17. PRINCE GEORGE’S COUNTY PUBLIC SCHOOLS www.pgcps.org 17 Communication Builders Tips for Teachers to help open lines of communication “I’d like to hear more about it.” “Tell me more about that.” “ I understand.” “What do you think about…” “Would you like to talk about it?” “That’s interesting.” “I’m interested.” “Explain that to me.”

18. PRINCE GEORGE’S COUNTY PUBLIC SCHOOLS www.pgcps.org 18 Negative Communication Interrogating Reminds students that adults are unhelpful and critical. Reinforces negative views of others. Emotionally reactive

19. PRINCE GEORGE’S COUNTY PUBLIC SCHOOLS www.pgcps.org 19 Destructive questioning…. 19 Can be answered “yes” or “no” Begin with words like Are, Have, and Do “Are you roaming the halls again?” “Have you been bothering Samantha?” “Do you want to go back to the suspension room?” Close off adult-student communication Reflect our own negative feelings about our inability to help

20. PRINCE GEORGE’S COUNTY PUBLIC SCHOOLS www.pgcps.org 20 Negative Communication 20 Questions that can’t be answered in terms of the student’s self-understanding or in a way that preserves self-esteem Begin with words like What, Didn’t, and Why “What in the world is the matter with you today?” “Why are you acting like that?” “Didn’t I tell you not to...?” “What do I have to do to get you to...”

21. PRINCE GEORGE’S COUNTY PUBLIC SCHOOLS www.pgcps.org 21 Negative Communication Stay away from…. The Yes-But Speech The You-Can-Do-It Speech The Just-Do-Your-Best Speech 21

22. PRINCE GEORGE’S COUNTY PUBLIC SCHOOLS www.pgcps.org 22 How to Avoid Negative Communication Always start with the end in mind Understand your motivation Reprimands negatively impact compliance Nagging & lecturing Interrupting Criticizing Dwelling on the past Using Sarcasm & Threats Putting down Lying Denying feelings

23. PRINCE GEORGE’S COUNTY PUBLIC SCHOOLS www.pgcps.org 23 Communicating During Conflicts Stay in control of your emotions Work on one problem at a time. Look for creative ways to solve problems. Be polite. Use “I” messages. Be willing to forgive. Devise a future plan & debrief student and class

24. PRINCE GEORGE’S COUNTY PUBLIC SCHOOLS www.pgcps.org 24 Conclusion Communication is sending information from one person to another. Communication can be verbal or non-verbal. Communication can be positive or negative, effective or ineffective. Practice communicating during conflicts. Practice communication builders.

25. PRINCE GEORGE’S COUNTY PUBLIC SCHOOLS www.pgcps.org 25 Resources/References http://trainingpd.suite101.com/article.cfm/commu nication_styles http://trainingpd.suite101.com/article.cfm/commu nication_styles http://matrix.scranton.edu/humanresources/com munication-styles-handout-leadership.pdf http://matrix.scranton.edu/humanresources/com munication-styles-handout-leadership.pdf www.natalierathvon.com

26. PRINCE GEORGE’S COUNTY PUBLIC SCHOOLS www.pgcps.org 26 Questions?