1. Singlehood, Hanging Out, Hooking Up, and Cohabitation
Chapter 5
Singlehood, Hanging Out, Hooking Up, and Cohabitation 1

2. Chapter 5: Singlehood, Hanging Out, Hooking Up, and Cohabitation Chapter Outline
Functions, History, and Changes in “Dating”
Singlehood and HIV Infection Risk
Finding a Partner
Cohabitation
Living Apart Together
The Future of Singlehood, Long-Term Relationships, and Cohabitation

3. Chapter 5: Singlehood, Hanging Out, Hooking Up, and Cohabitation Introduction
Quote: “The dread of loneliness is greater than the fear of bondage, so we get married.”
Cyril Connolly, The Unquiet Grave
Discussion: By age 75, only 3.9% of American women and 3.8% of American men have never married. Between the ages of 25 and 29, 61.1% of males and 46.3% of females are not married.
Why is marriage so important? Do we need marriage?

4. Chapter 5: Singlehood, Hanging Out, Hooking Up, and Cohabitation Introduction
Food for thought…
Persons who live together and then marry are less likely to get divorced than those who don’t live together before marriage. True or False?

5. Chapter 5: Singlehood, Hanging Out, Hooking Up, and Cohabitation Introduction
FALSE
Researchers refer to the cohabitation effect as the tendency for couples who cohabit to end up in less happy and shorter-lived marriages (more likely to divorce).
Cohabitants are more likely not only to divorce but to report more disagreements, more violence, lower levels of happiness, and lower levels of ability to negotiate conflict.

6. Singlehood
Singlehood is most often associated with young unmarried individuals.
Individuals Are Delaying Marriage Longer:
The proportion of households consisting of one person living alone increased from 30.1% to 31.1% in two years
This is due, in part, to the fact that Americans are staying single longer.

7. Singlehood Categories of Singlehood
Never-Married Singles
It is rare for people to remain unmarried their entire life. Why?
Divorced Singles
The divorced are also regarded as single.
It is difficult for many divorced individuals to transition back to singlehood.
Widowed Singles
These individuals are forced into singlehood. How might this be difficult?

8. Singlehood Reasons to Remain Single

9. Singlehood Reasons to Remain Single

10. Singlehood The Alternatives to Marriage Project
Mission Statement:
To advocate “for equality and fairness for unmarried people, including people who are single, choose not to marry, cannot marry, or live together before marriage.”

11. Singlehood Legal Blurring of the Married and Unmarried
One factor involved in more individuals delaying marriage is that the legal distinction between married and unmarried couples is blurring.
For example, individuals who define themselves as being in a domestic partnership may have many of the rights and privileges previously available only to married people.

12. Singlehood Personal Choices
Is Singlehood for you?
Consider the pros and cons of these concepts when contemplating your position on being single:
Alone time
Money
Social Identity
Children

13. Confirmation of a social self Recreation
Functions, History, and Changes in “Dating” Functions of Involvement with a Partner
Confirmation of a social self
Recreation
Companionship / Intimacy / Sex
Anticipatory socialization
Status achievement
Mate selection
Health enhancement

14. Functions, History, and Changes in “Dating” Changes in “Dating” in the Past 60 Years
Increase in the age at marriage
Dating pool includes an increasing number of individuals in their 30s who have been married before
Cohabitation has become more normative
Gender role relationships have become more egalitarian
Couples are more aware of the impermanence of marriage
Both sexes are more aware and cautious of becoming HIV-infected

15. Functions, History, and Changes in “Dating” Dating after Divorce
Using the Internet to find new partners
Older population
Fewer potential partners
Increased HIV risk
Children
Ex-spouse issues
Brief courtship

16. Functions, History, and Changes in “Dating” Singlehood and HIV Infection Risk
Though women typically report having had fewer sexual partners than men, the men they have sex with have usually had multiple sexual partners.
Hence, women are more likely to get infected from men than men are from women.

17. Finding a Partner Ways of Finding a Partner
Hanging out
Refers to going out in groups where the agenda is to meet others and have fun
Hooking up
A one-time sexual encounter in which there is little or no expectation of a relationship.
The nature of the encounter may be making out, oral sex, and/or sexual intercourse.

18. Finding a Partner Ways of Finding a Partner
Men and Emotional Hookups
“Some men engaged in hookups, but found it difficult to remain detached from the experience.”
The Internet—Meeting Online and After
There are hundreds of Web sites designed for meeting a new partner.
Internet Use: The Downside
WildXAngel.com is a Web site detailing horror stories of online dating.

19. Finding a Partner Ways of Finding a Partner
Speed Dating
A person has eight one-on-one dates that last eight minutes each.
Speed dating allows individuals to “interview” a series of new people in a single evening.
High End Matchmaking
Wealthy busy clients looking for marriage partners pay the Web site, Selective Search, $20,000 to find them a mate.
International Dating
Looking for love in other countries, via matchmaking services, or the Internet.

20. Cohabitation Also known as living together
There are six million unmarried-couple households in the United States today.
Becoming a “normative life experience,” almost 60% of U.S. women who married in the 1990s reported that they had cohabitated before marriage.

21. Cohabitation Reasons for the increase in cohabitation:
Career or educational commitments
Increased tolerance of society, parents, and peers
Improved birth control technology
Desire for a stable emotional and sexual relationship without legal ties
Avoiding loneliness
Greater disregard for convention

22. Cohabitation Same Sex Cohabitation and Race
Of the six million unmarried partner household, 7% consist of two males; 6% consist of two females.
An estimated 13 percent of these are black couples.

23. Cohabitation Nine Types of Cohabitation Relationships
Here and Now - The partners are focused on the here and now, not the future of the relationship.
Testers - The couple wants to assess whether they have a future together.
Engaged - These couples are in love and are planning to marry.

24. Cohabitation Nine Types of Cohabitation Relationships
Money Savers - The couples live together out of economic convenience.
Pension Partners - Getting married would mean giving up their pension benefits from the previous marriage.
Alimony Maintenance - The divorced partner is collecting alimony, which the would forfeit should he or she remarry.

25. Cohabitation Nine Types of Cohabitation Relationships
Security blanket cohabiters - Drawn to each other out of a need for security rather than mutual attraction.
Rebellious cohabiters - The cohabitation is more about rebelling from parents than being drawn to each other.
Marriage never (cohabitants forever) - Living together provides companionship and sex without the responsibilities of marriage.

26. Cohabitation Advantages and Disadvantages
Sense of well-being
Delayed marriage
Learning about self and partner
Safety
Disadvantages
More problems than “marrieds”
Feeling used or tricked
Problems with parents
Economic disadvantages
Effects on children

27. Cohabitation Having Children While Cohabitating
Sassler and Cunningham (2008) interviewed twenty-five never-married American women who were cohabitating with their heterosexual partners.
Most (2/3) reported that they wanted to be married before having a child.
None of the respondents planned on having a child in the near future and none were actively trying to conceive.

28. Cohabitation Legal Aspect of Living Together
Some of the legal issues concerning cohabiting partners include:
Common-law marriage
Palimony
Child support
Child inheritance

29. Cohabitation Legal Aspect of Living Together
In North Carolina, cohabitation is a misdemeanor punishable by a fine not to exceed $500, imprisonment for not more than six months, or both.
Common-law marriage dates to a time when couples who wanted to be married did not have easy or convenient access to legal authorities.

30. Living Apart Together Advantages and Disadvantages
Space and privacy
Career or work space
Variable sleep needs
Allergies
Variable social needs
Blended family needs
Keeping the relationship exciting
Self-expression and comfort
Cleanliness or orderliness
Elder care
Maintaining one’s lifetime residence
Leaving inheritance to children
Disadvantages:
Stigma or disapproval
Cost
Inconvenience
Lack of shared history
Waking up alone

31. Living Apart Together Food for thought…
7% of women and 6% of men age 23 and older (who are in a romantic relationship with their partner) are in a “living apart together” arrangement.
Discussion: What would be some of the difficulties with a relationship of this sort?

32. Quick Quiz
Functions of being involved with a partner include intimacy and:
status achievement
mate selection
companionship
all of the above
ANS: D

33. Quick Quiz
In traditional Chinese culture, romantic feelings were viewed as:
very important
unnecessary
scandalous
vital to marital happiness
ANS: B

34. Quick Quiz
Partners who are emotionally and sexually involved and want to see whether cohabitation and marriage are the right decision are referred to as:
here and now
testers
rebellious cohabitators
commitment-phobic
ANS: B

35. Quick Quiz
Which one of the following is not a legal concern for cohabitators?
Common-law marriage
Palimony
Alimony
Child inheritance
ANS: C

36. Quick Quiz
A committed couple who does not live in the same home is considered to be:
Living Apart Together (LAT)
Non-Cohabitating Couple (NCC)
Separated Married Couple (SMC)
Loving Long Distance (LLD)
ANS: A