1. Lesson 31 Ayahs 229-233 Surah Baqarah

2. Ayah 229 The pronouncement of revocable divorce is only allowed twice; then she should be allowed to stay with honor or let go with kindness (after the third announcement). It is not lawful for husbands to take anything back which they have given them except when both parties fear that they may not be able to follow the limits set by Allah; Then if you fear that they both will not be able to keep the limits of Allah. There is no blame if, by mutual agreement the wife compensates the husband to obtain divorce. These are the limits set by Allah; do not transgress them, and those who transgress the limits of Allah are the wrongdoers.

3. Ayah 229 – 2 nd Divorce Any gifts can’t be taken back If the husband/wife can’t give each other their rights The man has been given the right to divorce, but don’t ABUSE this right

4. Ayah 229 - Khulaa Wife can give the mahr back to the husband to obtain divorce Iddah is of 1 menstrual cycle NOT in the husband’s house Khulaa should be for a genuine reason A woman can own wealth

5. SUMMARY

6. Supporting Dhulm is also Injustice; Stand up for Justice!

7. Ayah 230 – Final Divorce So if a husband divorces his wife three times, it is not lawful for him to remarry her until after she has married another man and gotten the divorce. In that case, there is no blame on either of them, if they reunite in marriage, provided they think that they can keep the limits of Allah. Such are limits of Allah which He makes clear to the people of understanding.

8. Ayah 230 Talaaqul Bain – the final divorce The husband can’t ask the wife to return to him The woman has to marry someone else with permanence in mind; Concept of Halala: NOT ALLOWED; can’t get married for a green card, citizenship or with the intention to divorce immediately

9. Halala

10. COME INTO MARRIAGE WITH KNOWLEDGE OF RIGHTS AND RESPONSIBILITIES

11. Ayah 231 – After the Final Divorce When you have divorced women and they have reached the end of their waiting period either allow them to stay with honor or let them go with kindness; You should not retain them to harm them or to take undue advantage; if anyone does that, he wrongs his own soul. Do not take Allah’s revelations as a joke. Remember the favors of Allah upon you and the fact that He sent down the Book and wisdom for your guidance. Fear Allah and know that Allah has knowledge of everything.

12. Ayah 231 Do not hold your wife back just to harm/abuse her so much so that she is forced to take khulaa Do not play around with the ayahs of Allah for your own sake Saying divorce three times in one sitting I divorce you…just kidding! Remember the commands of Allah even in divorce; it will benefit you in your personal life and family life

13. Ayah 231 When you harm someone, its as if you are harming yourself Treat others as you want to be treated

14. Ayah 232 Wants to go back to her previous husband Wali: Ego shouldn’t stop you Shouldn’t be married off without her permission Let them get married; its purer Ex-Husband: Not letting other people marry her Can fall in love again

15. Ayah 233 – Nursing The mothers shall breast-feed their offspring for two whole years if the father wishes the breast feeding to be completed. The reasonable cost of their maintenance and clothing will be the responsibility of the child’s father. No one should be charged with more than they can afford. Neither a mother should be made to suffer on account of her child nor a father on account of his child. The father’s heirs are under the same obligation. But if, with mutual agreement, they both decide to wean the child, there is no blame on them. If you decide to have a foster mother for your offspring, there is no blame on you provided you pay what you have promised to pay in an honorable manner. Fear Allah and beware that Allah observes your actions.

16. Ayah 233 NURSING Mothers can nurse their babies for up to 2 years (maximum) If you don’t breastfeed, there’s no sin but there’s a lot of benefits in it It’s a mutual thing between mom and dad; talk about even this amongst yourselves! Biological father: provides the housing, clothes and food during this time Both mother and father will not be made to suffer because of the child

17. Ayah 233 Don’t use your kids as an excuse for learning, teaching, doing anything good… “Because of my kids I can’t…”

18. Next week…Lesson 32 inshAllah

19. Ayah 234 - Widows As for those of you who die and leave widows behind, let them abstain from marriage for four months and ten days; when they have reached the end of this period, there is no blame on you for what they do for themselves in a decent manner. Allah is Aware of what you do.

20. Ayah 234 Widow waiting period is 4 months and 10 days Needs time to emotionally get over her husband’s death; So you don’t rebound to another man

21. Ayah 234 – Regulations of Iddah Nikkah can’t take place Not to wear bright clothes; makeup Going out only for necessary things Groceries, Bank, School, Exam

22. Status of Widows Widows are normal human beings; have more rights than even single women! Widows are not bad luck;

23. Ayah 235 There is no blame on you if you make a proposal of marriage during their waiting period openly to keep it in your hearts. Allah knows that you will naturally cherish them in your hearts. However, be careful not to make any secret agreement, and if you wish to marry speak to them in an honorable manner. Do not confirm the marriage tie until the prescribed waiting period expires. You should know that Allah is Aware of what is in your hearts. So fear Him. Bear in mind that Allah is Forgiving, Forbearing.

24. Ayah 235 Getting married during the iddah, does not count as a valid child A hint of a proposal is OKAY but no promise of the nikkah NO SECRET NIKKAH IN ISLAM InshAllah Allah will bring a father for these children It will cause disturbance in the iddah; should she think about her dead husband, prospective husband, or herself

25. Reflection Nowadays no one even thinks of sending the widowed/divorced woman a proposal because she’s seen as “used” or “baggage”

26. Ayah 236 There is no blame on you if you divorce women before the marriage is consummated or the dowry is settled. Pay them something anyhow, the rich man