1. Romance & Intimacy Lecture 4: Biblical View of Romance & Sex www.prshockley.org

2. Biblical View of Romance:  Song of Solomon 7:1-8:4:  The husband is the Initiator & Operator: 7:1- 9a.  The wife is the Responder & Co-Operator: 7:9b-8:4.

3. Tom Nelson states that in order to be biblically romantic you need to …  Be Righteous  Be Courteous  Be Vocal  Be Affectionate  Be Thoughtful  Be Appreciative  Be Honoring  Be Creative  Be Spontaneous  Be Responsive  Be Together  Learn your mate

4. 4 Purposes of Sex:  Procreation (Genesis 1:27-28);  Pleasure (Song of Solomon 7:9-8:4; 1 Corinthians 7:3-5);  Intimacy (Genesis 2; Ephesians 5:25-33);  Portrait: Demonstration of God’s love for His people (John 13:34 cf. Ephesians 5:25).

5. A.Procreation:  It is through procreation that God has chosen this particular method, the union of two people, to spread or extend His image. Therefore, to “rebel” against this method is to deny further opportunities for His image to be reflected.  Image of God (Genesis 1:26-27):  Personality  Stewardship  Community  Representation

6. CommunityStewardshipPersonalityRepresentation

7. B. Pleasure: 1 Corinthians 7:3-5  “If God created sex, and if the Bible tells us that he created it for our pleasure, then he knows how we can get the maximum benefit of it. The view of God as a cosmic killjoy is quite wrong, for every ‘No’ there is a ‘Yes.’! It is quite true that sex outside of marriage is considered utterly sinful in the Bible. But that is only half the story: within marriage it is profoundly beautiful and utterly good.” ~ Dr. Dan Wallace.  We are transformative, continually changing and growing constantly.  Everything we do is to glorify the Lord- with our utter utmost. The pleasure is worshipful when done in a way that is God-honoring, not de-valuing the inherent worth of another.  Marital sex can be very beautiful. Premarital sex or extramarital affairs are ungodly and will leave you emotionally sterile; the effects are dehumanizing for they mar, scar, and sear what is beautiful, leading you downward into spiritual degeneration.  Consider J. Budzizewski’s illustration of the duct tape from Ask Me Anything (1).

8. C.Intimacy:  The monogamous commitment, “till death do us part” can produce the deepest intimacy.  Sin, on the other hand, produces spiritual and emotional pain, numbness, and sterility

9. Intimacy: Marital intimacy produces extraordinary benefits. Lack of marital intimacy yields negative, hurtful, painful,& destructive consequences.

10. Scope of Intimacy Agape: Love as Commitment (Rom. 5:18) is most broad: John 3:16. Phileo: Brotherly Love Eros: Physical Intimacy

11. Agape leads in a biblical view of Sex

12. Unbiblical view of sex leads to instability; Instability leads to fragmentation.

13. D. Portrait: John 13:35-35; Ephesians 5:25.  Love for another another is a demonstration of God’s love.  In what ways did Christ demonstrate His love to the church?  Consider the characteristics of biblical love: 1 John 3:16-17  Sacrifice  Self-Surrender  Meet Practical Needs  Ever so Genuine

14. Where’s your leverage and what is your security & resource when times get tough? Find Another MaleFemale

15. Biblical Resource & Security: Abide in Christ: GodWifeHusband

16. The greater the harmony, the healthier the relationship.

17. Bibliography:  “The Doctrine of Romance: Solomon 7:1-8:4” by Tom Nelson. DVD Marriage 10, # 1088 1/25/2004 given at Denton Bible Church, Denton, Texas. 1- 866-DBC TAPES or dbcmedia.org. I whole heartily recommend viewing this DVD. It is remarkable!  J. Budziszewski, Ask Me Anything (1) & (2); both volumes. Extraordinary dialogues.  “Rushdoony, Neoplatonism, and a Biblical View of Sex” by Dr. Dan Wallace.