1. Interpersonal Communication Love Styles Attachment Styles Standpoint Theory Perception

2. Interpersonal Comm. Defined A distinct type of communication which emphasizes quality, or character, of interaction Emphasizes what happens between people, not where or how many are present – Gain information – Understand context – Establish identity – Fulfill needs

3. Love Styles Category of behavior which indicates how one communicates within romantic relationships

4. Eros Powerful, passionate, and romantic love. Intense love that may include sexual, spiritual, intellectual, or emotional attraction. Fastest moving love style (early self- disclosure, fall in love fast) The most intuitive and spontaneous love style. Men are a little bit more likely than women to be erotic lovers.

5. Storge Comfortable, even-keeled kind of love Based on friendship Grows gradually, usually out of common interests, values, and life goals Very peaceful and stable

6. Ludus Playful Love See love as a game Commitment is NOT the goal Like to play the field and enjoy falling in love Many people employ a ludic love style after ending a long-term relationship Men are more likely to be ludic lovers

7. Pragma Practical Love Blends the strategies of ludus with the stability and security of storge Maintain criteria for lovers: such as religious affiliation, career, and family background Practical considerations are the foundation of enduring commitments

8. Mania Manic lovers have the passion of eros, but they play by ludic rules A combination that can have upsetting results Typically unsure others really love them, manics may devise tests and games to evaluate a partner’s commitment. A dramatic love, with extreme highs and lows

9. Agape A blend of storge and eros Comes from St. Paul’s admonition that we should love others without expectation of personal gain or return A generous and selfless love Feel the intense passion of eros, and the consistency of storge Loving and giving to another is its own reward Almost no one is purely agapic, but many people have agapic tendencies

10. Agape generous selfless Eros passionate sudden Mania dependent on others Ludus playful Pragma practical Storge friendship stable Styles of Love

11. Understanding Love Styles Most people blend styles Partner’s style may influence our style No style is intrinsically good or bad, healthy or unhealthy. Love styles change over time

12. Attachment Styles Determined by a child’s relationship with his/her parents Developed early in life and affects adult relationships

13. Secure Attachment Style The most positive attachment style Develops from consistent, loving caregiver responses to child Secures tend to be outgoing, affectionate, and have a stable self-esteem Security allows them to engage in intimacy and develop valuable relationships Not dependent on others for their sense of self-worth

14. Fearful Develops when caregivers communicate in negative, rejecting, or even abusive ways to the child Fearfuls feels they are unworthy of love, and that others are not loving See themselves as unlovable, and others as rejecting Tend to be apprehensive about relationships, and often feel insecure when they are involved with relationships

15. Dismissive Promoted by caregivers who are disinterested, rejecting, or abusive toward children Dismissives, however, do not accept the caregiver’s view of them as unlovable. But they typically dismiss others as unworthy of love Develop a positive self-view, and a negative view of others Maintain a defensive view of relationships, and regard them as unnecessary or undesirable

16. Anxious/Ambivalent The most complex attachment style Fostered by inconsistent and unpredictable treatment by caregivers Sometimes the caregiver is loving and attentive, and other times they are indifferent or rejecting Because children tend to assume adults are always right, they believe they are the source of any problem-that they are unlovable or deserve others’ abuse Tend to be inconsistent in their own relationships. One day they invite affection; the next day they rebuff it and deny needing or wanting closeness

17. Attachment Styles Positive View of Self Negative View of Self Positive View of others SecureAnxious/Ambivalent Negative View of Others DismissiveFearful

18. Standpoint Theory Point of view shaped by material, social, and symbolic conditions common to a group (Harding, 1991). Determined by placement within culture Affects perception & communication within relationships