1. Kirk Wilkinson - Founder and President of The Happiness Factor kirk@thehappinessfactor.com

3. 50% 10% 40% Genetics, Background & Programming Circumstances What you can control and change Source: The How of Happiness, Sonya Lyubormirski www.thehappinessfactor.com / Kirk@thehappinessfactor.com

4. RealReal Ideal Gap Disappointment Negative thinking Emotional traps Negative meaning Blame Guilt Emotional pain Victimization Unmet expectations Self-Criticism & Self-Indictment Past experiences

5. What you do! Who you are! Your roles, your net worth, your mistakes, service to others, profession, accomplishments, awards, recognition, your weight, your looks, your body, etc.. www.thehappinessfactor.com / Kirk@thehappinessfactor.com

6. RealReal Ideal Gap Drama, urgent issues, hurt feelings & being offended

7. www.thehappinessfactor.com / Kirk@thehappinessfactor.com

8. RealReal Ideal Gap Unmet expectations & perfectionistic tendencies

9. www.thehappinessfactor.com / Kirk@thehappinessfactor.com

10. Ask yourself: On a scale of 1 to 10 how much control do I have over this event, situation, people, outcome? What is it that I can actually control? On a scale of 1 to 10 how much influence do I have over the events, people, situation or outcome? What exactly can I influence? Control No Control Influence No Influence ACTIVE PASSIVE www.thehappinessfactor.com / Kirk@thehappinessfactor.com

11. RealReal Ideal Gap Negative thinking, Self-Criticism & Self-Indictment

12. I’m so stupid What will they think of me? I just blew it! I’m ugly I say dumb things Idiot! I can’t do anything right Lazy! Fat! Slacker Loser No one likes me! Weak I can’t cook! Clown Dumb! Fake Failure! Bad! What if I make a Mistake? Who would want to love me? Klutz! Nerd Geek Blimp Idiot Dork Weak Coward Afraid Shy Silly Sick Idiot Bad Fat www.thehappinessfactor.com / Kirk@thehappinessfactor.com

13. That’s not true! Because I am …..

14. www.thehappinessfactor.com / Kirk@thehappinessfactor.com RealReal Ideal Gap Negative experiences (present and past)

15. But you get to choose the reason! Choose a reason that is personal,significant and meaningful www.thehappinessfactor.com / Kirk@thehappinessfactor.com Own the reason!

16. www.thehappinessfactor.com / Kirk@thehappinessfactor.com

17. Re-tell the story you tell yourself with YOU as the hero! Same facts Same situation Different emotional outcome www.thehappinessfactor.com / Kirk@thehappinessfactor.com

18. RealReal Ideal Gap

19. Give yourself more credit Learn to under-react Learn to let go of what you can’t control Don’t believe everything you think Learn a new inner-vocabulary Reframe your past Re-tell the stories you tell yourself

20. Kirk Wilkinson - Founder and President of The Happiness Factor kirk@thehappinessfactor.com