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Building Rapport Ron Finklestein Business Growth Experience Sales Rainmaker Program 330-990-788 ron@businessgrowthexperience.com Copyright © 2012 RPF GROUP INC and The Business Growth Experience
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Building Rapport Language Pacing Matching Mirroring Indications of Rapport Favored Representational Systems Using What You Learned
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Language Verbal 7% Tonality (how you sound) 38% Physiology (How you look) 55%
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Verbal (7%) Predicates – to proclaim; declare; affirm; assert. – to affirm or assert (something) – to connote; imply Key Words – a word that serves as a key, as to the meaning of another word, a sentence, passage, or the like Common Experiences (stories) Content Chunks (communication style)
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Tonality (38%) Tone (pitch) – a particular quality, way of sounding, modulation, or intonation of the voice as expressive of some meaning, feeling, spirit, etc. Tempo (Speed) Timbre (quality) – the characteristic quality of a sound, independent of pitch and loudness, from which its source or manner of production can be inferred. Volume (loudness)
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Physiology Posture Gestures Facial Expressions Blinking Breathing
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Pacing How fast the move How fast they talk
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Matching Their Actions (sit, hold pencil, hold cup, etc) The way they dress (tie, causal, business casual)
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Mirroring Same a matching – Except …
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Indications of Rapport Kinesthetic - Internal Feeling (feeling of warmth, usually along the midline of the torso (aka butterflies) Visual - Color Shift (Might be a change in color in both people usually from the neck up.) Auditory – Word they use: “Do I know you?”, “Have we met before?”, “I feel like we have know each other for years!” Leading – Rapport is state of responsiveness (both people responding to each other)
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Exercise
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Favored Representational Systems Visual (see images) Auditory (hear discussions) Kinesthetic (feeling things in the body) Auditory Digital (combines all three Styles)
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Favored Representational Systems Visual (see images) – Sit & Stand with Head & Body Erect – Breath from top of the lungs – Move their eye up – Well organized – Well groomed – Memorize by seeing picture – Noise does not both them – Have trouble remembering verbal instruction – Interested in how your product or service look to them – Appearance is very important to them
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Favored Representational Systems Auditory (hear discussions) – Move eye side to side – Breath from the middle of the chest – Talk to themselves (some will even move their lips) – Easily distracted by noise – Learn by listening – Like music and talking on the phone – Repeat conversation back to you easily – Memorize by steps – Like to be told how they are doing – Respond to tone of voice or set of words – Interested in what you “have to say.”
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Favored Representational Systems Kinesthetic (feeling things in the body) – Breath from bottom of their lungs – Move & talk very slow – Like physical rewards and touching – Stand closer to people than visual people – Memorize by doing (walking though) – It needs to feel right
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Favored Representational Systems Auditory Digital (combines all three Styles) – Spend a fair amount of time talking to themselves – Does product or service make sense
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Predicate Word – Visual See Look View Appear Show Dawn Envision Clear Foggy Focused
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Predicate Word – Auditory Hear Listen Sounds Make music I am all ears Be heard Deaf
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Predicate Word – Kinesthetic Feel Touch Grasp Get hold of Sit through Catch on Tap into Hard Concrete Get a handle
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Predicate Word – Auditory Digital Sense Experience Understand Think Learn Motivate Consider Change Perceive Know Insensitive
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How Do You Build Rapport Use the words they use Match and mirror (Tonality, Speed, Pitch) Test for rapport (Leading)
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