1. Interpersonal Communication in Close Relationships
CHAPTER TOPICS
Intimacy in Close Relationships
Communication in Families
Communication in Friendships
Communication in Romantic Relationships
Improving Close Relationships

2. Intimacy in Close Relationships
Dimensions of Intimacy
Physical
Intellectual
Emotional
Shared Activities
Some relationships exhibit all four dimensions
Other relationships exhibit only one or two

3. Intimacy in Close Relationships
Masculine and Feminine Styles
Research shows that women are somewhat more willing than men to share their feelings
In terms of amount and depth:
Female – Female were at the top
Male – Female came in second
Male – Male had the least disclosure
Biological sex is not as important as the chosen gender role when expressing emotion
Generalizations do not apply to every person

4. Intimacy in Close Relationships
Cultural Influences on Intimacy
Notions of public and private selves have changed dramatically
Collectivist cultures
Generally do not reach out to outsiders, often waiting until they are properly introduced before entering into conversation
Individualistic cultures
Make fewer distinctions between personal relationships and casual ones

5. Intimacy in Close Relationships
Intimacy in Mediated Communication
Mediated communication can be just as personal as face-to-face interaction
Relational intimacy may develop more quickly through mediated channels
Intimate connections in cyberspace can also be problematic
“Virtually unfaithful”

6. Intimacy in Close Relationships
The Limits of Intimacy
Most people want 4-6 close relationships in their lives
Obsession with intimacy can lead to less satisfying relationships
Intimacy is rewarding but it isn’t the only way of relating to others
Do quiz example on page 281.
Answer questions that accompany.

7. Communication in Families
Characteristics of Family Communication
Family communication is formative
Family communication is role-driven
Family communication is involuntary

8. Communication in Families
Characteristics of Family Communication
Families as systems
Family systems are interdependent
Family systems are manifested through communication
Family systems are nested
Subsystems
Suprasystems
Families are more than the sum of their parts

9. Communication in Families
Communication Patterns within Families
Conversation orientation
High conversation orientation
Low conversation orientation
Conformity orientation
High-conformity families
Low-conformity families

10. Communication in Families
Communication Patterns within Families
Consensual
High conversation, high conformity
Pluralistic
High conversation, low conformity
Protective
Low conversation, high conformity
Laissez-faire
Low conversation, low conformity
See chart on page 289

11. Communication in Friendships
Types of Friendships
Youthful vs. mature
Long term vs. short term
Relationship oriented vs. task oriented
High disclosure vs. low disclosure
High obligation vs. low obligation
Frequent contact vs. occasional contact

12. Communication in Friendships
Sex, Gender, and Friendship
Same-sex friendships
Cross-sex friendships
Mutual romance, strictly platonic, one partner desires romance, one partner rejects romance
Friends with benefits

13. Communication in Friendships
Sex, Gender, and Friendship
Gender considerations
Sex role
Sexual orientation
What is the difference, in your experience, with how men and women communicate with each other and the opposite sex?

14. Communication in Friendships
Friendship and Social Media
Internet has made friendship more complicated
Social networking sites used primarily to maintain current friendships or to revive old ones
Social media isn’t a replacement for face-to-face communication
Means to support and rekindle friendships

15. Communication in Romantic Relationships
Ancient Greek
Storge and philla
Friendly love
Pragma
Practical, logical affinity
Agape
Selfless, altruistic compassion
Mania
Eros

16. Communication in Romantic Relationships
Romantic Turning Points
Transformative events that alter the relationship
Especially important in romantic relationships
Often mark movement among stages
Not all turning points are positive
Can provide clues about the status of the relationship

17. Communication in Romantic Relationships
Couples’ Conflict Styles
John Gottman – conflict styles
Volatile
Avoidant
Validating

18. Communication in Romantic Relationships
Couples’ Conflict Styles
Gary Chapman – love languages
Words of affirmation
Quality time
Gifts
Acts of service
Physical touch
Assumption your partner speaks same love language as you can be a setup for disappointment

19. Improving Close Relationships
Relationships Require Commitment
Promise - sometimes implied, sometimes explicit – to remain in a relationship and make it successful
Commitment formed and reinforced through communication
Words aren’t surefire measure of commitment
Deeds are also important

20. Improving Close Relationships
Relationships Require Maintenance and Support
Relational maintenance strategies
Positivity
Openness
Assurances
Social networks
Sharing tasks

21. Improving Close Relationships
Relationships Require Maintenance and Support
Most used with family and friends
Openness
Social networks
Most used with romantic partners
Assurances

22. Improving Close Relationships
Relationships Require Maintenance and Support
Social support
Helping loved ones through challenging times
Communication plays a central role
Resources
Emotional support
Informational support
Instrumental support

23. Improving Close Relationships
Repairing Damaged Relationships
Types of relational transgressions
Lack of commitment
Distance
Disrespect
Problematic emotions
Aggression

24. Improving Close Relationships
Repairing Damaged Relationships
Relational transgressions
Minor vs. significant
Social vs. relational
Deliberate vs. unintentional
One-time vs. incremental

25. Improving Close Relationships
Repairing Damaged Relationships
Strategies for relational repair
Talk about the violation
Take responsibility for the transgression
Components of apology
Expressing regret
Accepting responsibility
Making restitution
Genuinely repenting
Requesting forgiveness

26. Improving Close Relationships
Repairing Damaged Relationships
Forgiving transgressions
Most effective conversations contain:
Explicit statement
Discussion of the implications of the transgression and future of relationship
Some transgressions harder to forgive
One way to improve ability to forgive is to recall times when you have mistreated or hurt others

27. Chapter Review Intimacy in Close Relationships
Communication in Families
Communication in Friendships
Communication in Romantic Relationships
Improving Close Relationships