1. Attraction & Close Relationships: Lecture #10 topics  The initial attraction  familiarity, physical attraction, mate selection  Close relationships  types of relationships, types of love (bleh)

2. The initial attraction BUILDING FAMILIARITY  the _______ effect  we’re more likely to befriend, date, & marry people who live close to us  the _______ _______ effect  the more often we’re exposed to something, the more _______ we evaluate it  occurs with novel stimuli (e.g., foreign words, faces)

3. The initial attraction PHYSICAL ATTRACTIVENESS The Dove Campaign for Beauty

4. The initial attraction PHYSICAL ATTRACTIVENESS  we’re biased toward the beautiful:  attractive students are perceived to be smarter & more likely to succeed in school  Texan judges give lower fines to attractive criminals  beautiful people get paid higher wages

5. The initial attraction WHAT IS “BEAUTY”?

6. The initial attraction WHAT IS “BEAUTY”?

7. The initial attraction WHAT IS “BEAUTY”?

8. The initial attraction IS BEAUTY OBJECTIVE?  high _______ _______ on ratings of attractiveness:  universally, men prefer “_______” physique in women; women prefer _______ men with “_______” shape  _______ is beautiful:  _______ faces are attractive because they’re _______  we seek facial _______ (sign of fitness & fertility)

9. The initial attraction Shannen Doherty: An example of facial symmetry Shannen, digitally enhanced The real Shannen

10. The initial attraction

12. IS BEAUTY OBJECTIVE?  babies prefer _______ faces:  stare _______ at faces rated by adults as being attractive

13. The initial attraction IS BEAUTY SUBJECTIVE?  _______ _______ in body adornment:  scarification, piercing, tooth filing, tattooing are not practised universally  we have different _______ body sizes:  where food is scarce, _______ women are more attractive  beauty _______ change over time:  models today are _______ than before

14. The initial attraction Marilyn Monroe, 1953 35-22-35 (5’5”) Eva Herzigova, 2001 35-23-35 (5’11”)

15. The initial attraction IS BEAUTY SUBJECTIVE?  judgments of beauty change with the _______ :  people become more beautiful if we _______ them  men see their wives as _______ attractive after viewing _______ models  we feel less attractive after viewing models

16. The initial attraction WHY ARE WE BLINDED BY BEAUTY?  beautiful people are _______ pleasing  ______________ stereotype  the belief that attractive people also have other _______ qualities  attractive people do have more friends & better social skills but don’t score higher on _______ tests of intelligence, personality, or self-esteem

17. The initial attraction we like others who like us:  _______  when someone likes us, we’ll tend to like them back  sometimes, we like people more if we have to _______ their affection we like people who are “ _______ ”:  social _______  e.g., “The Rules”: men are more charmed by hard-to- get women

18. The initial attraction _______  when your parents forbid you to date Bill, you _______ your freedom to date who you want  consequence: you want to date Bill even more

19. The initial attraction MATE SELECTION Buss (2003):  women seek _______, _______ stable men  women are _______ in # of offspring they can have; thus, they seek men with _______ to support their offspring  men seek _______, _______, _______ women  although sperm is cheap, men are restricted by their ability to attract fertile partners & to ensure _______ of offspring

20. The initial attraction Marriage #1 Age difference: 3 years Marriage #2 Age difference: 17 years Marriage #3 Age difference: 28 years

21. Close relationships ATTACHMENT STYLES  _______ attached babies  _______ when Mom leaves; _______ when she returns  _______ attached babies  _______ : cry when Mom leaves; mad when she returns  _______ : no reaction when Mom leaves/ returns  _______ attachment styles influence our _______ romantic attachment styles

22. Close relationships I find it relatively easy to get close to others & am comfortable depending on them & having them depend on me. I don’t often worry about getting abandoned/ about someone getting to close to me. % of populationAttachment StyleDescription

23. Close relationships I am somewhat uncomfortable being close to others; I find it difficult to trust them completely & to allow myself to depend on them. I am nervous when anyone gets too close, & often, love partners want me to be more intimate than I feel comfortable being. % of populationAttachment StyleDescription

24. Close relationships I find that others are reluctant to get as close as I would like. I often worry that my partner doesn’t really love me/ won’t want to stay with me. I want to merge completely with another person, & this desire sometimes scares people away. % of populationAttachment StyleDescription

25. Close relationships ANXIOUSAVOIDANTSECURE

26. Close relationships LEE (1988): Different love styles  _______ love styles  _______ (erotic love)  _______ (game-playing, uncommitted love)  _______ (friendship love)  _______ love styles  _______ (demanding, possessive love)  _______ (practical love)  _______ (other-oriented, altruistic love)

27. Close relationships STERNBERG (1986): Triangular theory of love 3 components to love:  _______  _______ component; liking & feelings of closeness  _______  _______ component; attraction, romance, sexual desire  _______  _______ component; decision to commit to long- term partner

28. Close relationships CONSUMMATE LOVE (intimacy + passion + commitment) INTIMACY Liking (intimacy alone) PASSION Infatuation (passion alone) Empty Love (commitment alone) COMMITMENT Romantic Love (intimacy + passion) Companionate Love (intimacy + commitment) Fatuous Love (passion + commitment)

29. Close relationships HATFIELD (1988) _______ love:  intensely _______ ; complete absorption in one’s partner  according to Schachter’s ______________, passionate love requires:  _______ arousal  belief that _______ triggered this arousal  e.g., Dutton & Aron’s (1974) “Capilano bridge” study

30. Close relationships HATFIELD (1988) companionate love:  less intense  more _______  _______, longer lasting  built on _______, caring, & long-term _______  _______ over time