1. Marriage…
Communication and Sex

2. Marriage… Communication and Sex
Marriage Pyramid
Problem level…
Relational
Skills Level
WORSHIP LEVEL

3. Marriage… Communication and Sex
3 models of communication:
Action
Interaction
Transaction

4. Marriage… Communication and Sex
Eph 4:25-32 is a good passage on communication.
There are good points on communication.
For context, need to consider verses

5. Marriage… Communication and Sex
Eph 4:17-24
Darkened in their understanding
Separated from the life of God
Ignorant from hard hearts
Callous
Lusting for more impurity
New attitude of mind
Taught in Christ
New self created to be like God
Righteous
Holy

6. Marriage… Communication and Sex
Eph 4:15ff
Speaking the truth in love, while reflecting a changed heart, should help move a person from the old self to the new self (i.e., sanctification)!

7. Marriage… Communication and Sex
Eph 4:25-32
Principle #1: speak the truth in love
This is different from refraining from lying.

8. Marriage… Communication and Sex
Eph 4:25-32
Principle #1: speak the truth in love
Violations to Principle #1:
Double bind
Backdoor communications
Sneak attack

9. Marriage… Communication and Sex
Eph 4:25-32
Principle #2: stay current
Deal with your anger.
Bitterness = Anger + Time
Check out Psalm 4:4ff, Paul quotes this verse.

10. Marriage… Communication and Sex
Eph 4:25-32
Principle #3: No unwholesome talk
Wholesome talk builds up a person. It addresses the issues. It doesn’t attack the person, but the problem.
Examples of unwholesome talk
Exaggerations
Using trait names
Hitting below the belt
Assuming the other’s motives

11. Marriage… Communication and Sex
Eph 4:25-32
Principle #4: Don’t be ruled by anger; speak words of confession and forgiveness.
People don’t like to confess and ask for forgiveness.
This reveals a belief that there is no real solution to sin except to try harder.
When a person confesses and ask for forgiveness, then we should forgive the person and not make them work their way back.

12. Marriage… Communication and Sex
Review on sex…
God designed sex to be engaged within marriage.
Sexuality was designed by Christ as a way to know God more fully (Eze. 16:13-16, 32-33, 35-37; Eph. 5:25-27)
[Note: not in a Pagan sort of way!]
Knowing Christ more fully in all of his infinite supremacy is designed as a way of guarding and guiding our sexuality.

13. Marriage… Communication and Sex
Some guiding thoughts on sex…
Any and all pleasure need to be subordinate to the pleasure in God.
“That which is not desired as a Means to some Higher end, is desired as our ultimate end itself (in that act). But God only is man’s lawful ultimate end.” -- Richard Baxter
Sex is designed to be a pointer to God, not a substitute for God.
Sex is also the physical sign of the marriage covenant.

14. Marriage… Communication and Sex
Typical Progression of Physical Intimacy
Non-Christian
Sexual
Intercourse
“Typical” Christian
No Physical
Intimacy
No Commitment
Engaged
Married

15. Marriage… Communication and Sex
Biblical Progression of Physical Intimacy
Sexual
Intercourse
No Physical
Intimacy
No Commitment
Engaged
Married

16. Marriage… Communication and Sex
Some guiding thoughts on sex…
Ultimately, sex is a spiritual act and not just physical
It always involve the spirit of man working together with the will of God, communing with the Holy Spirit, or
The spirit of man in rebellion against God, pushing the Holy Spirit away.