1. Action for Prisoners’ Families Families of Older Prisoners Seminar 11 July 2013

2. Making love last: Maintaining relationships with long-term prisoners Anna Kotova, Centre for Criminology University of Oxford

3. Background Project title: "Making Love Last: Maintaining Intimate Relationships with Long-term Prisoners" (funded by the Sir Halley Stewart Trust) Overview of aims and objectives of project Overview of methodology Overview of the research participants to date (8 in- depth semi-structured interviews with partners of long- term prisoners) QUESTION: What does 'older' mean?

4. Theme 1: Practical issues Practical problems likely to be exacerbated by long-term nature of the sentence: more so if the partner (and/or the prisoner himself) are older. E.g. Anne, despite being in her mid-50s, has to work full-time (would not have had to otherwise). Health problems: Esther's partner needs hip replacement, prison unhelpful. Sarah suspects her husband had had a stroke: impact on visits.

5. Theme 1: Practical issues (con'd) Life moves on, especially for older prisoners: family members dying was a key theme in the interviews so far. The partners had to relay these sad news. If older, more likely to have traditional mentalities/lifestyles: Elizabeth felt lost because her husband used to guide her and she was not used to making decisions on her own.

6. Theme 2: Relationship dimension Imprisonment, especially long-term imprisonment, means a re-shaping of the intimate relationship. Some of the women did not feel that the lack of intimacy was a serious problem due to their age ('party days' over). Some felt that they could not just walk away from a relationship they were invested in for a long time. Sarah: 'You don’t become married to somebody, for 25 years or beyond, and then lose it just that like.' Esther: 'Part of our success is our age.'

7. Theme 3: Coping and maturity No longer 'young girls' - saw themselves as more mature. E.g. Mary saw the 'younger girls' as needing counseling and preparation. Anne refused to see herself as 'old' - but did see herself as more mature/'settled'/'content'. Would a 26-year-old girl want to go to prison every week? asked Esther. Anne wondered how you would cope alone with young children, as a young girl. Participants very reflexive: most spoke at length about importance of communication.

8. Theme 4: Worries and concerns Isabella's partner 'too old' to work in current prison: she worries about him sitting in his cell and studying all the time. Many felt their health, especially their mental well being, has been affected by their partners' imprisonment: e.g. Anne: 'I feel as though I’m suffering physically...’ Isabella: 'Since my husband’s been in prison, I’m lucky if I get 3 hours of sleep a night.’ Another participant discussed (very real) fears over either or both of them dying before her husband's release.

9. THANK YOU!

10. Action for Prisoners’ Families Families of Older Prisoners Seminar 11 July 2013 www.prisonersfamilies.org.uk