1. David Myers 11e ©2013 McGraw-Hill Companies

2. Chapter Eleven Attraction and Intimacy: Liking and Loving Others

3. What Leads to Friendship and Attraction? Proximity Geographical nearness; functional distance Interaction Availability

4. What Leads to Friendship and Attraction? Proximity Anticipation of interaction Mere exposure Tendency for novel stimuli to be liked more or rated more positively after the rater has been repeatedly exposed to them Exposure without awareness leads to liking

5. What Leads to Friendship and Attraction? Physical Attractiveness Attractiveness and dating Looks are a predictor of how often one dates Looks influence voting

6. What Leads to Friendship and Attraction? Physical Attractiveness The Matching phenomenon Tendency for men and women to choose as partners those who are a “good match” in attractiveness and other traits

7. What Leads to Friendship and Attraction? Physical Attractiveness Physical-attractiveness stereotype Presumption that physically attractive people possess other socially desirable traits as well First impressions Is the "Beautiful is Good" stereotype accurate? Attractive people are valued and favored, and so many develop more social self-confidence Self-fulfilling prophecy

8. What Leads to Friendship and Attraction? Physical Attractiveness Who is attractive? Whatever people of any given place and time find attractive Perfect average Symmetry

9. What Leads to Friendship and Attraction? Physical Attractiveness Who is attractive? Evolution and attraction Assumption that beauty signals biologically important information Health Youth Fertility

10. What Leads to Friendship and Attraction? Physical Attractiveness Who is attractive? Social comparison Contrast effect Attractiveness of those we love We see likable people as attractive

11. What Leads to Friendship and Attraction? Similarity versus Complementarity Do birds of a feather flock together? Likeness begets liking Dissimilarity breeds dislike

12. What Leads to Friendship and Attraction? Similarity versus Complementarity Do opposites attract? Complementarity Popularly supposed tendency, in a relationship between two people, for each to complete what is missing in the other

13. What Leads to Friendship and Attraction? Liking Those Who Like Us Attribution Ingratiation Use of strategies, such as flattery, by which people seek to gain another’s favor

14. What Leads to Friendship and Attraction? Liking Those Who Like Us Attribution Self-esteem and attraction How we feel about ourselves determines how we feel about our relationships Gaining another’s esteem

15. What Leads to Friendship and Attraction? Relationship Rewards Reward theory of attraction Theory that we like those whose behavior is rewarding to us or whom we associate with rewarding events

16. What Is Love? Passionate Love Emotional, exciting, and intense Expressed physically

17. What Is Love? Passionate Love Theory of passionate love Two-factor theory of emotion Suggests that in a romantic context, arousal from any source, even painful experiences, can be steered into passion

18. What Is Love? Passionate Love Variations in love: culture and gender Marriages for love versus arranged marriages

19. What Is Love? Companionate Love Affection we feel for those with whom our lives are deeply intertwined Occurs after passionate love fades

20. What Enables Close Relationships? Attachment Our need to belong is adaptive Parents and children Friends Spouses or lovers

21. What Enables Close Relationships? Attachment Attachment styles Secure attachment Rooted in trust and marked by intimacy Avoidant attachment Avoiding closeness Insecure attachment Clinging, then indifferent or hostile

22. What Enables Close Relationships? Equity Condition in which the outcomes people receive from a relationship are proportional to what they contribute to it Long-term equity As people observe their partners being self-giving, their sense of trust grows Perceived equity and satisfaction

23. What Enables Close Relationships? Self-Disclosure Revealing intimate aspects of oneself to others Disclosure reciprocity Tendency for one person’s intimacy or self-disclosure to match that of a conversational partner

24. How Do Relationships End? Divorce Rates varied widely by country Individualistic cultures have more divorce than do communal cultures

25. How Do Relationships End? Detachment Process Alternatives to exiting a relationship Loyalty Waiting for conditions to improve Neglect Ignore the partner and allow the relationship to deteriorate Voice concerns Take active steps to improve relationship