1. Attraction & Romantic Relationships

2. I. Interpersonal Attraction A. Proximity: we are likely to develop relationships with people who live near us and become familiar to us. B. Similarity C. Physical Attractiveness 1) frequency of dating 2) feelings of popularity 3) others’ initial impressions of their personalities D. Exotic Becomes Erotic Theory: individuals can become romantically or erotically attracted to individuals whom they view as different or exotic from that of the norm.

3. II. Romantic Relationships A. Sternberg’s Triangular Theory of Love: The Three Elements 1) Intimacy: the emotional element of love, involving self-disclosure, which leads to connection, warmth and trust. 2) Passion: the motivational element of love, based on inner drives that translate physiological arousal into sexual desire. 3) Commitment: the cognitive element of love, the decision to love and stay with the beloved.

4. B. Common Relationship Patterns Involving Some Forms of Love 1) Infatuation: pure passion; romantic relationships often start out as infatuation and become romantic love as intimacy develops over time. 2) Liking: intimacy; true friendships in which a person feels a bond, a warmth, and a closeness with another but not intense passion or long-term commitment.

5. 3) Romantic Love: an intense longing for a person fueled by intimate feelings and accompanied by physiological arousal; when our love is reciprocated, we feel great fulfillment and ecstasy, but when it is not, we feel sadness and despair. 4) Companionate Love: an intimate, non-passionate type of love that we feel when we care deeply for a person; it is stronger than friendship because of the element of long-term commitment. 5) Consummate Love: is the complete form of love, representing an ideal relationship toward which people strive (a.k.a. the perfect couple).

6. C. What We’re Looking For in a Long-Term Loving Relationship U.S. men and women desire the same top 5 characteristics in a marriage partner. 1) Mutual Attraction (Love) 2) Emotional Stability and Maturity 3) Dependable Character 4) Pleasing Disposition 5) Education and Intelligence D. Online Relationships… The Costs and the Benefits 1) Friends 2) Lovers E. Social Hats: the varying selves we portray that seem most appropriate for who we are communicating with or for the situational circumstances of that communication.

7. F. Freud and Some Relationship Defense Mechanisms 1) Fantasy: gratifying frustrated desires in imaginary achievements (“daydreaming” is a common form). 2) Identification: increasing feelings of worth by identifying self with another person or institution, often of illustrious standing. 3) Isolation: cutting off emotional charge from hurtful situations. 4) Sublimation: the transformation of sexual or aggressive energies into acceptable and prosocial behaviors.

8. G. Self-Disclosure: revealing important information about oneself to another. 1)Disclosure Reciprocity: the tendency for one person’s intimacy or self-disclosure to match that of a conversational partner. Love: an overlapping of selves. You become part of me and I become part of you. H. Infidelity 1) Males exhibit more distress to sexual than to emotional infidelity, while females exhibit more distress to emotional rather than to sexual infidelity.

9. I. Exchange/Equity Relationships: we seek relationships with people with whom we feel we can make equitable transactions of goods and services and that the rewards and costs experienced are roughly equal. 3) Comparison Level: people’s expectations about the level of rewards and costs they are likely to receive in a particular relationship. 4) Comparison Level for Alternatives: people’s expectations about the level of rewards and costs they would receive in an alternative relationship. 1) Overbenefited: getting a lot of rewards, incurring few costs, having to devote little time or energy to the relationship. 2) Underbenefited: getting few rewards, incurring a lot of costs, having to devote a lot of time and energy to the relationship.