2. Roles, Expectations and Intimacy Pastor Scott Murray Young Adult Pastor

3. This week…  What are the Expectations for Marriage  What is True Intimacy  What are Biblical Roles in our Marriages

4. Expectations  Expectations are beliefs about the way things will be or should be.  Where do our expectations come from?  When expectations are not met it can lead to  Sadness  Disappointment  Frustration  ANGER!

5. Expectations  Topics where expectations can bring conflict!  Finances  Relating to the opposite sex (Communication)  In-law relationships  Romance and affection  Your combined spiritual growth  Figuring out what your values will be as a couple  Hard times  Children  Selfishness

6. Expectations  How do we Manage Expectations?  Be open about what you expect  Be flexible in your expectation  Be able to listen to the Lord

7. Expectations  Communication is KEY!  Develop and Learn God’s perspective of your spouse  Learning to LOVE and FORGIVE will help you navigate the challenges of unmet expectations  Develop and LEARN  Continue to DREAM together about what your relationship can be

8. Intimacy…  Intimacy in Marriage  We must define Intimacy…(it is not sex)  God made us with the ability to have intimacy  As God is intimate with Himself, we can be intimate with each other  Trinity…  Marriage…

9. …Intimacy  What hurts our intimacy with God…is the same thing that hurts our intimacy with our spouse.  Sin  Confusion of what marriage is  Role flipping  Intentional time together  Expectations

10. …Roles  It is too easy to stop with this verse.  Eph 5:22-24 Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord. 23 For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. 24 Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.  But we need 2 more verses…  Eph 5:25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her  Eph 5:33 However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.  Think oneness

11. …Roles  So…What does this mean for the “everyday” issues that arise in your home?  What does this mean for the BIG decisions that happen in your marriage?  Remember…Think Oneness

12. …Roles  The Trinity as an example…GOD= 3 in 1  The Son submits to the Father and the Holy Spirit submits to the Father and the Son. This functional submission does not imply an equivalent inferiority of essence; all three Persons are equally God, but they differ in their function.  Likewise, men and women are equally human beings and equally share the image of God, but they have God-ordained roles and functions that mirror the functional hierarchy within the Trinity.

13. …Roles  In one sense the doctrine of the Trinity is a mystery that we will never be able to understand fully. However, we can understand something of its truth by summarizing the teaching of Scripture in three statements:  1. God is three persons.  2. Each person is fully God.  3. There is one God. Grudem, W. A. (1994). Systematic theology : An introduction to biblical doctrine (Page 231). Leicester, England; Grand Rapids, Mich.: Inter-Varsity Press; Zondervan Pub. House.

14. …Roles We were made in the image of God There in INTIMACY in our… ROLES as Husband and Wife

15. …Roles  Both Adam and Eve were created in God’s image, equal before God as persons and distinct in their manhood and womanhood.  Distinctions in masculine and feminine roles are ordained by God as part of the created order, and should find an echo in every human heart.  Adam’s headship in marriage was established by God before the fall, and was not a result of sin.  It is God’s Design

16. Marriage GodWomanMan

17. Marriage GodWomanMan

18. God MarriageWomanMan

19. Let’s Pray

20. Discussion Questions  What would you say is your number one expectation for your marriage?  What are practical ways you can develop emotional intimacy in your relationship?  How have you seen roles in marriage modeled in your family?  How were key decisions made in your home growing up?  When you don’t agree, what are you going to do?