1. Objective: To prioritize terms related to engagement, intimacy, predicting success, and teen marriage Marriage

2. Marriage??? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eSDmfdiiT94 The Engagement http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ac3AzaDohd0 The Wedding http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HrWBjF9zAq0 What's your thoughts about engagements, weddings and marriage???

3. Food for thought… 95% of all Americans marry at least once The average marriage lasts 9.4 years Most remarry again

4. What is an engagement? Transition period Public announcement Range 6 months to 3 years long Wide range of feelings – extreme happiness to uncertainty Last evaluation before the final commitment

5. Traditional Marriage Emotional, spiritual, and legal commitment a man and woman make to one another.

6. Intimacy Deep and meaningful kind of sharing between two people.

7. Intimacy For marriage to sustain itself over the year’s four types of intimacy must be present: 1. Philosophical – sharing beliefs & values ( particular important when raising kids) 2. Psychological – sharing of needs, emotions, weaknesses and strengths, individual success, show support in disappointment 3. Creative – sharing of efforts to accomplish task and projects, each partner must do his or her share of the work with a willing attitude 4. Physical – wide range of behaviors that express warmth and closeness, physical affection, marriage partners should be physically attracted to one another

8. How to predict success in a marriage… Age Reasons for marriage Length of the relationship and engagement Similar attitudes about children & child-raising Similar interests Committed to sexual fidelity Good character Parents success at marriage Parental attitudes towards the potential marriage partner Careful selection of the marriage partner

9. Pre-Martial Counseling Finances Values Child-raising

10. Most important issues in marriage: Those issues discussed in pre-marital counseling… Sex & religion

11. Marriage Commitment Because of rising divorce rates, these should be present for marriage to last: Marriage partners must be committed to actions that honor wedding vows Marriage partners must work together to master the developmental stages of marriage

12. Developmental Stages Divorce rate is falling but so is the marriage rate. 0 – 2 years Begin to realistic view of marriage must deal with weaknesses to avoid dysfunctional behavior 3 – 10 years Maintain individual identity Deal with forgiveness & aging Children

13. Developmental Stages 11 – 25 years Master issues from first 3 stages Task of achieving financial security and nurturing family Confront each other about death 26 - ??? years Reasons fro living after achieving goals in stage four Confront death Retirement

14. Do you agree???!!! http://www.nbcphiladelphia.com/news/health/Key_to_Ha ppy_Marriage_in_the_Formula__Philadelphia.html http://www.nbcphiladelphia.com/news/health/Key_to_Ha ppy_Marriage_in_the_Formula__Philadelphia.html

15. Teen Marriage Need to work on DEVELOPMENTAL TASK. (what is it???) If you marry as a teen you do not get enough time to work on developmental tasks. These tasks are needed to be mastered to reach the next level of maturity.

16. Teen Marriage Difficulties Teen marriage does not give you enough time to: Develop healthy relationships with members of both sexes Become comfortable with maleness or femaleness Become comfortable with own body Become emotionally independent adults Learn skills needed later for successful marriage and parenthood Prepare for a career Have a clear set of values to guide behavior Understand and achieve socially responsible behavior