1. Understanding Your Teen: Adolescent Development Presented by Danusia Nedilskyj, PhD. Clinical Psychologist SJHS Parent Night, October 6, 2014 Ps Presented by Danusia Nedilskyj, PhD. Clinical Psychologist SJHS Parent Night, October 6, 2014 Ps

2. OUTLINE The Adolescent Brain Stages of Adolescence  Normal Development of your Teen  Warning Signs  Risk Factors  Communicating with your Teen The Adolescent Brain Stages of Adolescence  Normal Development of your Teen  Warning Signs  Risk Factors  Communicating with your Teen

3. THE ADOLESCENT BRAIN

4. BRAIN DEVELOPMENT  Uneven pace  Back to front  Physical coordination first, reasoning and impulses last (Prefrontal Cortex)  Does your teen...  Have difficulty controlling his/her emotions?  Have a preference for physical activity?  Exhibit poor planning and judgment (rarely thinks of negative consequences)?  Exhibit risky or impulsive behaviors?  Uneven pace  Back to front  Physical coordination first, reasoning and impulses last (Prefrontal Cortex)  Does your teen...  Have difficulty controlling his/her emotions?  Have a preference for physical activity?  Exhibit poor planning and judgment (rarely thinks of negative consequences)?  Exhibit risky or impulsive behaviors?

5. STAGES OF ADOLESCENCE  Early: 11-14 years  Middle: 15-17 years  Late: 17-21 years  Early: 11-14 years  Middle: 15-17 years  Late: 17-21 years

6. ERIKSON’S PSYCHOSOCIAL STAGE OF DEVELOPMENT  Identity versus role confusion  Exploring independence and developing a sense of self  Transition from childhood to adulthood  Crisis resolved, leading to strong sense of self, independence, and control  OR...  Crisis not resolved leading to unstable sense of self, confused about selves and future  Identity versus role confusion  Exploring independence and developing a sense of self  Transition from childhood to adulthood  Crisis resolved, leading to strong sense of self, independence, and control  OR...  Crisis not resolved leading to unstable sense of self, confused about selves and future

7. WHAT IS IMPORTANT TO 11-14 YEAR OLDS??  Changes in their body  Having friends  Privacy  Changes in their body  Having friends  Privacy

8. WHAT IS IMPORTANT TO14-17 YEAR OLDS?? ( Middle Adolescence) Fitting in

9. WHAT IS IMPORTANT TO 17-21 YEAR OLDS?? ( Late Adolescence ) Future goals (work, school) Relationships (1-1) Family Future goals (work, school) Relationships (1-1) Family

10. WHAT IS TYPICAL TEEN BEHAVIOR?  Identity  Privacy  Desire to control  Peer interactions  Mood changes  Sexuality  Identity  Privacy  Desire to control  Peer interactions  Mood changes  Sexuality

11. ATYPICAL BEHAVIOR  Academic Red Flags  Sudden drop in academic achievement  Cutting classes, tardiness, or truancy from school  Behavioral Red Flags  Sudden change in friends  Problems with authority, poor conflict resolution  Excessive dependence  Poor impulse control  Academic Red Flags  Sudden drop in academic achievement  Cutting classes, tardiness, or truancy from school  Behavioral Red Flags  Sudden change in friends  Problems with authority, poor conflict resolution  Excessive dependence  Poor impulse control

12. ATYPICAL (cont)  Emotional Red Flags  Sudden mood swings  Feeling down, hopeless, worthless  Signs of frustration, anger or stress, difficulty concentrating  Poor self-esteem or lack of motivation to succeed at school  Hearing voices or seeing objects/people that are not there  Physical Red Flags  Signs of self harm (scars on hands, stomach, thighs; burn marks)  Aches and Pains  Rapid weight loss or weight gain  Excessive fatigue  Emotional Red Flags  Sudden mood swings  Feeling down, hopeless, worthless  Signs of frustration, anger or stress, difficulty concentrating  Poor self-esteem or lack of motivation to succeed at school  Hearing voices or seeing objects/people that are not there  Physical Red Flags  Signs of self harm (scars on hands, stomach, thighs; burn marks)  Aches and Pains  Rapid weight loss or weight gain  Excessive fatigue

13. RISK FACTORS FOR MENTAL DISTRESS  Genetic factors  Low esteem  Having a learning disability  Isolation  Having chronic medical condition (diabetes, cystic fibrosis, cancer)  Substance abuse  Family history of mood disorder  Home conflict (i.e., divorce, parents who use substances, unsupportive family  Extreme academic pressure  Exposure to trauma: Assault/rape, bullying, domestic violence, community violence, child abuse, chronically chaotic environment.  Genetic factors  Low esteem  Having a learning disability  Isolation  Having chronic medical condition (diabetes, cystic fibrosis, cancer)  Substance abuse  Family history of mood disorder  Home conflict (i.e., divorce, parents who use substances, unsupportive family  Extreme academic pressure  Exposure to trauma: Assault/rape, bullying, domestic violence, community violence, child abuse, chronically chaotic environment.

14. TALKING WITH YOUR TEEN  Love and Connect  Their world is changing, make sure your love doesn’t.  Monitor and Observe  Pay attention to their activities, your involvement matters  Guide and Limit  Remember to be both firm and flexible  Model and Consult (with teachers, pastor, pediatrician, etc).  Be a good example for your teen  Love and Connect  Their world is changing, make sure your love doesn’t.  Monitor and Observe  Pay attention to their activities, your involvement matters  Guide and Limit  Remember to be both firm and flexible  Model and Consult (with teachers, pastor, pediatrician, etc).  Be a good example for your teen

15. HOW TO TALK-COMMUNICATING WITH YOUR TEEN  Use connection, not separation, to encourage compliance  Don’t teach, JUST LISTEN  Stay Calm  Keep Talking!  Emphasize strengths and what they’re doing RIGHT.  Focus on self-awareness and self-regulation instead of “bad behavior”  Use connection, not separation, to encourage compliance  Don’t teach, JUST LISTEN  Stay Calm  Keep Talking!  Emphasize strengths and what they’re doing RIGHT.  Focus on self-awareness and self-regulation instead of “bad behavior”

16. REMEMBER  Your teen WILL make mistakes--NORMAL!!  YOU will make mistakes—NORMAL!!  Important to check your own emotional reactivity to your teens mistakes.  RIGHT-SIZED MISTAKES VS. WRONG SIZED MISTAKE  Ex. of a “right-sized” parenting mistake—overreacting when you worry about your child’s safety VS. “wrong sized mistake”---they got a C or lower on a quiz or paper.  Oftentimes, overreacting (and possibly even under-reacting) to a “right- sized” mistake can lead to the teen shutting down and withdrawing from you, trusting you less, etc.  Each time you communicate with your teen is an opportunity to learn from it and find ways to strengthen that bond even more the next time. “Nothing’s finished, nothing’s perfect, and nothing lasts”—Wabi-Sabi  Your teen WILL make mistakes--NORMAL!!  YOU will make mistakes—NORMAL!!  Important to check your own emotional reactivity to your teens mistakes.  RIGHT-SIZED MISTAKES VS. WRONG SIZED MISTAKE  Ex. of a “right-sized” parenting mistake—overreacting when you worry about your child’s safety VS. “wrong sized mistake”---they got a C or lower on a quiz or paper.  Oftentimes, overreacting (and possibly even under-reacting) to a “right- sized” mistake can lead to the teen shutting down and withdrawing from you, trusting you less, etc.  Each time you communicate with your teen is an opportunity to learn from it and find ways to strengthen that bond even more the next time. “Nothing’s finished, nothing’s perfect, and nothing lasts”—Wabi-Sabi

17. WHO CAN SUPPORT?  Talking to school personnel  Ask about available supports: tutoring, after school programs, special education services  Talking to physician  Ask about normal adolescent development, ensuring healthy behaviors (substance abuse, reproductive health, screen for mental health issues)  Referring to mental health services  Check with insurance carrier for benefits, Info line (211), inquire about private practice providers, have your child assessed to rule out certain factors (i.e., ADHD, Learning Disability, Depression or Anxiety, Language Disorder  Parent Support  Other parents, church or social groups, parenting classes are all valuable resources to remind you that you are not alone!  Talking to school personnel  Ask about available supports: tutoring, after school programs, special education services  Talking to physician  Ask about normal adolescent development, ensuring healthy behaviors (substance abuse, reproductive health, screen for mental health issues)  Referring to mental health services  Check with insurance carrier for benefits, Info line (211), inquire about private practice providers, have your child assessed to rule out certain factors (i.e., ADHD, Learning Disability, Depression or Anxiety, Language Disorder  Parent Support  Other parents, church or social groups, parenting classes are all valuable resources to remind you that you are not alone!

18. QUESTIONS? COMMENTS? THANK YOU