1. Inter-Act, 13th Edition
Chapter 6
Relationships

2. Chapter Objectives
Discuss the functions of communication in relationships
Describe how relationships differ and are categorized
Explain how relationships change during their life cycles
Identify the issues in each stage of the life cycle that require effective communication

3. Abusive relationship –
Relationship – a set of expectations two people have for their behavior based on the pattern of interaction between them
Good relationship –
interactions are satisfying to and
healthy for those involved
Abusive relationship –
interactions are physically, mentally, or emotionally harmful

4. Functions of Relationships
Constitutive function – Relationships come about through interactions
Instrumental function – Communication is a way to “get things done” in the relationship
Indexical function – The “thermometer” of a relationship; measures who is in control, how much partners trust each other, and the level of intimacy in the relationship

5. How Relationships Differ
Impersonal vs. Personal
Voluntary vs. Involuntary
Platonic vs. Romantic

6. Types of Relationships
Acquaintances – people we know by name and talk with when the opportunity arises, but with whom our interactions are limited
Friends – people with whom we have voluntarily negotiated more personal relationships
Close friends or intimates – those with whom we share a deep commitment, trust, interdependence, disclosure, and affection

7. Class Activity
In groups of 3-4, identify the different expectations you have for acquaintances, friends, “best friends,” and lovers
What happens when two people have different expectations? How do you progress from one type of relationship to another? Do we sometimes have unrealistic expectations of people?

8. Gender Differences Women develop close friendships through:
Talking
Disclosing personal history
Sharing personal feelings
Joint activities
Doing favors for each other
Successive tests of dependability

9. Dimensions of Relationships
Interdependence
Depth
Breadth
Commitment
Understanding and Predictability
Communication Coding
Sharing Social Networks
As dimensions increase, relationships develop; as they decrease, relationships deteriorate.

10. Self-disclosure & Feedback: The Johari Window
Known to self
Not known
to self
Open
Blind
Known to
others
Secret
Unknown
Not known
to others
V / V, ch.3

11. The Role of Self-Disclosure Social Penetration Theory:
Self-disclosure is integral to all stages of relationships, but changes over time.
The nature and type of self-disclosure change as people become more intimate.
When disclosure is reciprocated, the relationship becomes intimate.

12. Self-Disclosure Guidelines
Disclose information that you want others to disclose to you.
Disclose information appropriate for the type of relationship.
Disclose intimate information only when it represents an acceptable risk.
Be sensitive to your partner’s ability to absorb your disclosure.
Reserve intimate or very personal disclosures for ongoing relationships.
Continue intimate self-disclosure only when it is reciprocated.

13. Extra Credit Opportunity
Do you have problems either disclosing personal information or providing your relationship partner with feedback? Write a communication improvement plan (for assistance see worksheet at ) and follow the Assignment Rubric

14. Relationship Life Cycles
Relationships move through identifiable stages.
Turning points:
Events that mark a transition from one stage to another
Lead to greater intimacy or to deterioration of relationship
Happen at all stages in a relationship

15. Extra Credit Opportunity
Observe and Analyze (p173)
Select one long-term relationship, identify the turning points, indicate whether each was a positive event that strengthened the relationship or negative event that weakened relationship intimacy. Discuss these with the other person and describe the outcome.

16. Relationship Stages
Beginning
Developing
Sustaining
Declining

17. Beginning Relationships
Communication focuses on:
Increasing knowledge of the other
Reducing uncertainty
Increasing interaction
Predicted Outcome Value Theory:
We gather information to predict whether the benefits of future interactions will outweigh the costs.
Stages of Beginning Relationships:
Entry
Personal
Exit

18. Developing Relationships
Increasing disclosure
Keeping a relationship at a particular level of closeness or intimacy
Frequent communication
Emerging interdependence
Interpersonal Needs Theory:
Relationship depends on how well each person meets the interpersonal needs of the other.
Affection
Inclusion
Control

19. Exchange Theory:
Relationships understood in terms of exchange of rewards and costs during interactions
Cost/Reward ratio
Rewards – needs met
Costs – time and energy spent developing relationship
Relationships develop and are sustained when partners choose to meet each other’s needs.

20. Sustaining Relationships
Use pro-social behaviors.
Observe ceremonial occasions.
Spend time together as a couple and with mutual friends.
Communicate frequently.
Words and actions reassure continuing affection, discretion, trustworthiness.
Share tasks.

21. Relational Dialectics
The conflicting pulls that exist in relationships as well as within each individual in a relationship
Autonomy/Connection
I need my own space. I want to be close.
Openness/Closedness
I like sharing so There are some
things I don’t want
to talk about.
Novelty/Predictability
We need to do I like the familiar
rhythms we have.

22. Managing Dialectical Tensions:
Temporal selection
Topical segmentation
Neutralization
Reframing

23. Relationship Decline The communication in declining relationships
is marked by three stages:
Recognition of dissatisfaction
Process of repairing or disengaging from relationship
Ending
Termination Strategies:
Manipulation/Withdrawal/Avoidance
Direct/Open/Honest
Relationship Transformation