2.  As a result everyone must play a role  Role: an outline of acceptable behaviors that help to regulate the family and imply rules for appropriate behavior  Some people hold multiple roles simultaneously

3.  Parenting: Father or Mother  Son  Daughter  Sister  Brother  Grandparent  Every Role Has… ◦ expectations ◦ rights or privileges ◦ responsibilities

4.  Family Needs: ◦ Wage earner ◦ Childcare ◦ House work  Past Experiences: ◦ What is expected of a mother or father from one generation to the next. ◦ If in your parents both work, it is likely in your family both parents will work  Changes outside and within the family role ◦ Unemployment ◦ Divorce ◦ Death of a spouse ◦ As a child matures, more may be expected of them

6.  Instrumental roles are concerned with the provision of physical resources (e.g., food, clothing, and shelter), decision-making, and family management.  Affective roles exist to provide emotional support and encouragement to family members.  Both sets of roles must be present for healthy family functioning

7.  Providing resources, such as…  Money  Food  Clothing  Shelter

8. Includes providing…  Comfort  Warmth  reassurance for family members  Support  Encouragement  Examples:  a parent comforting a child after he/she has a bad day at school  Family members supporting one another after the death of a loved one.

9. Includes  Physical  Emotional  Educational  Social development Examples of this role  are a parent helping a child make it through school  A parent helping a young adult child decide on a career path.

10. Involves many tasks, including…  Leadership  Decision making  Handling family finances,  Maintaining appropriate roles with respect to extended family, friends and neighbors.  Maintaining discipline  Enforcing behavioral standards.

11.  We may get new roles  Lose a Role ◦ May be by choice or not ◦ May graduate  college/new job ◦ When a child grows up no longer a kid  Adapt Roles ◦ To make them fit ◦ May have to expand yourself to fit the role ◦ Expand the role to fit you

12.  Conflict between the roles one plays ◦ wife v. mother role  Conflict within a role: ◦ Mother wants to be nurturing, but sometimes you have to let your kids fall  Conflicts between roles of different people: ◦ Mother v. grandmother ◦ Wife v. mother-in-law ◦ Parent v. child

13.  Some Roles hold more Power  Some roles cause more stress than others ◦ Some can be good and serve as motivation ◦ Some can be harmful  Some people reject the roles they are given ◦ this may be because we don’t allow them to deviate from what is expected from the role  Sometimes you need to assume someone else’s roles to understand them better ◦ “walk in someone else’s shoes”

14.  Every role needs to know what is expected of them  Expectations should be clear and realistic  Their Responsibilities should match their skills and abilities  Make sure everyone has a chance to grow and reach their potential

15.  Sometimes people don’t fulfill their roles  By neglecting their roles they affect everyone in the family  May be due to a stressful event: unemployment, illness, accident  Sometimes other will help them to full fill the role or they may take over the role as their own

18.  But some people interpret their roles differently, this is how we come up such a wide variety of parenting styles and discipline techniques.

19. Types of Parenting Styles and Outcomes  Most parent can be classified into three main types by the style in which they guide their children. As we discuss each, think about where your own parents fits most appropriately. Do each of your parents use the same style? Do you fit the outcome?

20. Authoritarian: Limits without Freedom.  Parents’ word is law, parents have absolute control.  Misconduct is punished  Affection and praise are rarely give  Parents try to control children's’ behavior and attitudes  They value unquestioned obedience  Children are told what to do, how to do it, and where to do it, and when to do it.

21. Outcomes of Authoritarian Style  Obedient  Distrustful  Discontent  Withdrawn  Unhappy  Hostile  Not High Achievers  Often Rebel  Children from authoritarian homes are so strictly controlled, either by punishment or guilt, that they are often prevented from making a conscious choice about particular behavior because they are overly concerned about what their parents will do.

22. Permissive: Freedom without limits.  Parents allow their children to do their own thing.  Little respect for order and routine.  Parents make few demands on children.  Impatience is hidden.  Discipline is lax  Parents are resources rather than standard makers  Rarely punish  Non controlling, non-demanding  Usually warm  Children walk all over the parents

23. Outcome of Permissive Parenting  Aggressive  Least self— reliant  Least self- controlled  Least exploratory  Most unhappy  Children from permissive homes receive so little guidance that they often become uncertain and anxious about whether they are doing the right thing.

24. Democratic: Freedom within limits.  Middle ground between the two above  Stress freedom along with rights of others and responsibilities of all  Parents set limits and enforce rules  Willing to listen receptively to child’s requests and questions.  Both loves and limits  Children contribute to discussion of issues and make some of their own decisions  Exert firm control when necessary, but explain reasoning behind it.  Respect children’s interest, opinions, unique personalities.  Loving, consistent, demanding  Combine control with encouragement  Reasonable expectations and realistic standards.

25. Outcomes of Democratic Style  Happy  Mostly self- reliant  Mostly self- controlled  Content, friendly, generous  Cooperative  High-achiever’  Less likely to be seriously disruptive or delinquent  Children whose parents expect them to perform well, to fulfill commitments, and to participate actively in family duties, as well as family fun, learn how to formulate goals. They also experience the satisfaction that comes from meeting responsibilities and achieving success.

26. Bell Work8/23  Review the parenting style notes we took last class. Answer the following three questions.  Which parenting style do you believe your parents exemplify? Why?  Do they both share the same parenting style?  What advice would you give your parents to improve their parenting style?

27. Parenting Scenarios  Get into groups of with students who share your number  Look at the card you have been given  For the given parenting style, develop a skit or written scenario that may be applied to the parenting style.  You have 10 minutes to do this.  Once everyone is done you will read or act out your scenario for the class.

28. Discipline  Using different methods and techniques to teach children self control  Children learn to act in ways that are socially acceptable  Guidance and Discipline will help a child to guide themselves and act in safe and acceptable ways.

29. Types of Discipline  Power assertion: when parents use or threaten to use physical punishment ◦ It works because the child fears the adult ◦ As grow older no longer works, for fear is based on being caught and punished. ◦ Thus they weigh the chances of being caught and the likely punishment ◦ They are not guided by what is right or wrong ◦ Children may also react in a physically aggressive manner with other children, and not understand why it is inappropriate ◦ Parents are also acting out of anger and could become abusive ◦ If this method is used on a child they are more likely to use the same method as a parent

30. Types of Discipline  Love Withdrawal ◦ Technique in which the parents threaten children or suggest some form of parent/child separation ◦ Some parents tell their children that they do not love them or are going to give them away ◦ May give the child the silent treatment ◦ Creates stress and prevents the child from expressing their feelings

31. Types of Discipline  Induction: ◦ Parents discipline by reasoning and explaining ◦ Explain why they should or should not do certain behaviors ◦ Children show better self control, display more concern for other, and take responsibilities for their own failures