1. Having a slight problem with the lads’ concentration.... Captain Ochre’s first mission

2. “I think we ought to keep abreast of the situation, Elaine,” said Captain Grey, pointing at the map. Keep your hands off, Mario, it’s my turn to look. Dum, de dum, wonder what’s for tea tonight. Oh, look at those knockers just waiting for me to…

3. WHAT THE!!… I didn’t see those before, where did they come from? Must look at her eyes, don’t look down, don’t look down.. Get yer eyes off them, yankee bastard, I saw them first… “So, good idea,” said Elaine. “That’s what I think we should do…”

4. “Adam?” Concentrate, man.... She has boobs… She has boobs……… Concentrate……. don’t look down…Oh gosh! Well, at least Adam concentrates on what I’m saying…

5. “Um, yes of course, Elaine, um, I’ll just stand over here…” Oh damn, he’s finally noticed I have boobs. Breathe deeply and count to ten and they might go away.

6. “Okay,” said Elaine, “that’s settled then. I’m going to get all of you painfully castrated in the morning, all right?” Yep!

7. Bloody men!!

8. NEXT MORNING Colonel White’s office

9. “ When you say castrated, Captain Ochre… What exactly do you mean, you’ve had them castrated?”