1. Interviewing & Investigation
The Listening Process,
Listening Skills, and
Active Listening

2. The Listening
Process

3. Listening
Definition
The physical and psychological process that involves acquiring, assigning meaning and responding to symbolic messages from others.

4. The Listening Process Acquiring Attending Understanding
Responding to messages from others

5. Acquiring
Acquiring - The act of picking up stimulus through the senses.
Hearing Ability
Hearing is the physical process of receiving sound.
Noise and Barriers to Hearing
Loud noises, etc
Mismatched verbal and non verbal cues
Irritating mannerisms
Attitude and emotions of the receiver

6. Misconceptions about Listening

7. Attending
The act of choosing - consciously or subconsciously - to focus your attention on verbal or nonverbal stimuli.
Choosing to Attend
Your own needs, interests, attitudes and knowledge help us make choices.

8. Understanding
Understanding—A complex mental process that involves decoding the symbolic message received from others and then interpreting and assigning a personal meaning to that message.
Decoding
Interpreting

9. Understanding
Decoding—A listener’s assigning meaning to a sender’s words and non-verbal clues.
Listen carefully
Filter message based on own experiences
Knowledge, culture and language skills that affect your ability to decode messages.

10. Understanding
Interpreting—The process in which you personalize the sender’s message to determine its meaning to you.
Receiver determines the actual meaning of the message.
Personal filters

11. Responding
Response—The listener’s internal emotional and intellectual reaction to a message.
We respond
Emotionally
Intellectually
Analyze and evaluate response
Encode choices about what to say or do

12. Reacting to Messages Reaction Analysis and Evaluation Feedback/Choice
Emotional
Intellectual
Analysis and Evaluation
Logic and reasoning
Feedback/Choice
What is the best way to frame my response?

13. Providing Feedback Importance of Giving Appropriate Feedback
Responsibility to the speaker to provide some idea about whether the message was received
How listener interpreted the message
Benefits of Appropriate Responses and Feedback
Hallmark of competent communicator
Keeps communication cycle going
Responding and Providing Feedback Appropriately
Good listener
Overreacting

14. Factors that Affect the Listening Process
Noise
Barriers
Memory

15. Factors that Affect the Listening Process
Noise - The internal and external distractions that interfere with listening and concentration.
Internal—confusion, stress, excitement, impatience, annoyance
External—too warm/cold, static on phone line, loud talking

16. Factors that Affect the Listening Process
Barriers—prevent or block communication.
External—speech problems, incompatible language, hearing loss
Internal—bias, prejudice, intolerance fear

17. Factors that Affect the Listening Process
Memory—The process of retaining or recalling information.
Without memory, there would be no learning.
Selective memory

18. Listening
Skills

20. Characteristics of Listening
Passive Listening
Impatient Listening
Active Listening

21. Characteristics of Listening
Passive listening - The listener does not actively participate in interactions.
Lazy listeners
View communication as a one-way process
Easily bored, ask few questions
No rewards for passive listening

22. Passive Listening Not interested Silence can be useful, but . . .
When there is no verbal response to the person talking, it can be uncomfortable or misinterpreted.
Not interested

23. Characteristics of Listening
Impatient listening - short bursts of active listening are interrupted by noise and other distractions.
Forgets details
Makes mistakes
Tuned out

24. Types of Impatient Listening

25. Characteristics of Listening
Active Listening - the listener participates fully in the communication process.
Listen attentively
Provide feedback
Strive to understand and remember messages

26. Kinds of Listening
Critical
Deliberative
Empathetic

27. Critical Listening
Critical listening - comprehend ideas and information in order to achieve a specific purpose or goal.
Comprehend and understand sender’s message.

28. Deliberative Listening
Listening to understand, analyze, and evaluate messages so you can accept or reject a point of view, make a decision or take action.
Example: Jury deliberation
Juries use deliberative listening in order to reach decisions on guilt or innocence, as well as sentencing.

29. DELIBERATIVE LISTENING
TIPS FOR
DELIBERATIVE LISTENING
Identify your goal or purpose for listening.
If possible, gather information before the listening experience to provide a basis for evaluation, deliberation, and judgment.
Listen specifically to understand, analyze, and evaluate the message.
Organize your listening to grasp the speaker’s claim or idea, the use of supporting information, the reasons to support the speaker’s claim, and the use of emotional appeals and persuasive strategies.
Observe the speaker’s use of language and nonverbal cues to identify, analyze, and evaluate his or her attitudes or feelings. Then, determine whether these behaviors support or counteract the speaker’s message.
Analyze the speaker’s motivation or intent.
Reflect on your own responses and reasons for accepting or rejecting the speaker’s message.
Form reasoned responses and give appropriate feedback. Delay action if necessary.
Reserve judgment if you are unsure of all the facts.
When you feel you have enough information, make responsible decisions and take prudent action.

30. Empathetic Listening
Listening to understand, participate in and enhance a relationship.
Goal is to develop understanding and appreciation of the meanings and feelings expressed by a message sender.
Empathy is not sympathy. Whereas sympathy is "feeling for someone," empathy is "feeling AS someone."

31. TIPS FOR EMPATHETIC LISTENING
Listen carefully to the speaker’s words to understand the meaning of the speaker’s message and the feelings he or she is expressing.
Observe the speaker’s nonverbal behaviors to analyze his or her feelings about the listener or the relationship involved and the context of the situation.
Monitor your understanding of the speaker, the message, and the situation.
Analyze your own responses, feelings, biases, or prejudices toward the speaker, the message, or the situation.
Use personal perception checks such as, “Is this what the speaker really is saying, or is this just what I am hearing and telling myself about the speaker’s message?”
Try to paraphrase the sender’s message.
Ask questions to help the sender clarify his or her meanings and feelings.

33. Bad Listening Habits Criticizing the subject or the speaker
Getting over-stimulated
Listening only for facts
Not taking notes OR outlining everything
Tolerating or creating distraction
Letting emotional words block message
Wasting time difference between speed of speech and speed of thought

34. Why don’t we listen? We are busy Distractions Thinking of other things
Thinking about what we’ll say next
Want to immediately problem-solve
We think faster than we speak

35. Fast Facts We listen at 125-250 wpm, and think at 1000 -3000 wpm
75% of the time we are distracted, preoccupied or forgetful
20% of the time, we remember what we hear
Less than 2% of people have had formal education with listening

36. Average Communication Skills
Mode of Communication
Formal Years
of Training
Percentage of Time Used
Writing
12 years 9%
Reading
6-8 years
16 %
Speaking
1-2 years
30%
Listening
0-few hours
45%

37. Why Be A Good Listener? Needs of the Client…
To be recognized and remembered
To feel valued
To feel appreciated
To feel respected
To feel understood
To feel comfortable about you

38. Active
Listening

39. Overview What is active listening? Why do we practice it?
How do we practice it?
Quickly review the presentation by reading the 3 bullets
Ask cadets to remember a time when they realized that the person they were talking with wasn’t really listening to them. How did that make them feel?
Ask cadets to remember a time when they really weren’t listening to the person talking to them. What happened? Did they get the message right?

40. Active Listening
Active listening is a structured way of listening and responding to others.
Focuses on the speaker.
Facilitates common understanding and relationship building - when relationships are strong, communication flows.

41. Benefits of Active Listening
Allows you to make sure you hear the words and understand the meaning behind the words
Avoid or clarify misunderstandings
Build trust
Get others to talk
Get more information to be better able to persuade, influence, and negotiate
Achieve RAPPORT

42. The Need for Active Listening
Hearing someone merely means that you are aware that he/she has said something
Listening to someone means that you:
Give him/her your open and complete attention
Try to make sense of what he/she is saying
Let him/her know that you are trying to understand

43. Four Active Listening Techniques
Reflective Responses
Requests for Clarification
Encouragement
Empathizing

44. What must happen first? Know yourself.
Understand your communication style.
Be aware of your non-verbal communication.
Be aware that the meanings and use of facts and language are subjective.

45. Active Listening (4 Steps)
Question
Reflect-Paraphrase
Agree

46. Step 1: Listen To Feelings As Well As Words Focus on Speaker
Words – Emotions -- Implications
Focus on Speaker
Don’t plan, speak, or get distracted
What Is Speaker Talking About?
Topic? Speaker? Listener? Others?

47. Attention
Give the speaker your complete attention, i.e., be quiet and DON’T timeshare!
Let the speaker know that you are listening by nodding your head and/or saying that you are following what he/she is saying (e.g., “Uh-huh”, “I understand”, “I see” )
Pay attention to body language

48. Nonverbal skill = SOLER
Attending Posture
Nonverbal skill = SOLER
S = squarely face person
O = use open posture
L = lean toward the person
E = use eye contact
R = relax, keep it natural
Think about how you communicate with others and how they communicate with you. Imagine speaking with someone you are close with and how different your posture is than with someone you hardly know. Now, imagine speaking with a superior officer or a boss, and think about how you feel when talking to them. What makes you uncomfortable? Comfortable?
According to Gerald Egan, author of the supplement you read from the “Skilled Helper: A Problem-Management Approach to Helping there are a number of nonverbal gestures and practices we can do to let the message sender know that we are really listening and that we really do care. Consider Egan’s SOLER model:
S – stand or sit so that you face the person straight on (instructor may wish to demonstrate this)
O – make sure you keep your arms and legs uncrossed to reflect openness
L – leaning towards the person indicates that you are interested in what they have to say.
E – using eye contact means that you are listening.
R – make sure you act naturally. If you try to practice these gestures without sincerity, you will come across as having no interest in the sender or any messages he is trying to give you.
Of course, many of these practices are based on our cultural practices. As we will discuss in later lessons, it is important that you acknowledge the cultural background of the sender and practice gestures that are appropriate.
Note: The instructor may want to demonstrate some of these postures.

49. Attitude Remain neutral (non-judgmental) as you listen
Don’t give advice, criticize, or interrupt -- unless you are asked
Try to see the point from the speaker’s point of view (i.e., empathize)

50. Physical Environment Ensure privacy Minimize interruptions
Eliminate barriers
It is imperative that you seek a private place to talk. Remind cadets of a time when they were telling someone something personal and how imperative it was that they s/he felt comfortable in his environment.
You should also minimize interruptions such as answering the phone.
Make sure that there are no barriers, or obstacles that may inhibit the conversation. This is a good time to check to make sure you are practicing good nonverbal cues – don’t cross your arms or look away from the sender, otherwise you may threaten his willingness to speak openly and honestly.
Practicing these steps tell the sender that what they have to say, you consider important.

51. Listen Do Be attentive to the speaker
Suspend judgment while you listen
Don’t
Compare one situation with another
Rehearse what you will say next
Attempt mind-reading
Be Attentive
Pay close attention to what is being said. Demonstrate that you are listening through attentive body language.
Suspend Judgment
Put aside the chatter in your head that is getting in the way of listening. This is perhaps the most difficult of these elements.
Compare
What the speaker says to him or herself or to others
Rehearse
What you will really say in response to the speaker
Mind Reading
What the speaker is really thinking or feeling
Sources:
Edelman, L., Greenland, B., & Mills, B.L. (1992) Family-centered communication skills- Facilitator’s guide. St. Paul, MN: Pathfinder Resources, Inc.
Wolfe, Peny & McNellis, 1990, First Steps, Service Coordination Level I Training Workshop-Trainer’s Notes,
Adapted with permission from Colorado Service Coordination Training Module 4 Elements of Active Listening (5/9/01)/2

52. Step 2: Question
Ask for more information about some point that you don’t get
Ask the speaker to give an example of what he/she is saying
Ask the speaker to clarify some point that is not clear to you
3 Purposes
Demonstrates you are listening
Gather information
Clarification

53. Questioning Skills Ask questions…not too many Avoid “why” questions
Ask open-ended questions
Questions are good to ask, but too many can tell the sender that you don’t trust what he is saying, or that you are not paying attention.
Asking “why” questions, like “why did you choose that?” or “why did you did it that way?” indicates that you are judging the sender.
The best form of questioning is open-ended. This type of question can not be answered by a simple yes or no, but must be accompanied by an explanation or additional details. For example, “Sam, tell me more about the day you left home,” rather than, “Sam, were you sad when you left home?”
Practicing this technique on a child is a good way to challenge your skills of asking open-ended questions.

54. Active listening involves. . . . Open-Ended Questions
Open-ended questions invite a thought out response – a detailed response
Tell me more.
How did you feel?
Then what happened?
Who was there?
What did they do?
How did that work?

55. Step 3: Reflect-Paraphrase
Reflect What Is Said (in your words)
Reflect Feelings
Reframe
Capture the essence of the communication
Remove negative framing
Move toward problem solving

56. The Listening Response
Acknowledges what the other person says
Tests the meaning with the other person
Encourages the other person to say more
Explores the other person’s perspective

57. Restate
State in your own words what you think is the speaker’s cognitive message
Introduce your restatement as your interpretation, not as what the speaker said
Try to show that you are working to understand, not to point out where he/she is wrong

58. Interpret
State in your own words what you think is the speaker’s emotional message
Acknowledge feelings - tell the speaker how strongly he/she feels about the point being made (often expressed by his/her intensity level)
Give the speaker a chance either to agree with you or to temper his/her feelings about the point he/she just made

59. Active Listening Statements
“If I understand you, this is what happened. . .”
“You seem to be feeling ”
“What do you mean?”
“So what I hear you saying ”
“Let’s go over what you have done so far ”

60. Reflect-Paraphrase Do
Reflect back to demonstrate your interest and provide feedback
Summarize key points to confirm that you understand
Don’t
Judge
Attempt to advise
Divert
Be concerned about being right
Placate
Reflect
It is helpful for the listener to reflect the speaker’s statements back to him or her for further clarification. By doing this you can help to clarify the speaker’s priorities and concerns. This should be done in as natural a manner as possible. If the listener knows your are “reflecting back” it becomes a deterrent to communication.
Summarize
Summarize what you heard back to the speaker to confirm your comprehension and leave the door open for more dialogue.
Roadblocks to Listening
Judge
The merits of what the speaker says or how he says it.
Attempt to Advise
The speaker and offer suggestions without being asked.
Divert
The speaker by changing the subject, distracting him from the topic.
Being Right
In your position or idea, leaving no room for listening to the other person’s perspective.
Placating
The speaker by agreeing with him or her without being involved in what is said.
Sources:
Edelman, L., Greenland, B., & Mills, B.L. (1992) Family-centered communication skills- Facilitator’s guide. St. Paul, MN: Pathfinder Resources, Inc.
Wolfe, Peny & McNellis, 1990, First Steps, Service Coordination Level I Training Workshop-Trainer’s Notes,
Adapted with permission from Colorado Service Coordination Training Module 4 Elements of Active Listening (5/9/01)/2

61. Step 4: Agree Get Speaker’s Consent to Your Reframing
Speaker Has Been Heard and Knows It!
Solution Is Near!

62. Agreement
First try to get agreement from the speaker that you have heard and understood him/her correctly
Then summarize the points that he/she has made during the conversation
And summarize the points with which you agree and those with which you disagree, emphasizing your common ground

63. Active listening builds stronger attorney-client relationships
Active Listening Summary
Active listening is the most powerful form of acknowledgment
…a way of saying, “You are important.”
Active listening facilitates client acceptance and openness
…conveys the message that “I am not judging you.”
Active listening builds stronger attorney-client relationships
…creates a desire to cooperate because the client feels accepted and acknowledged.

64. Active Listening
In-Class Exercise 1

65. End of
The Listening Process,
Listening Skills, and
Active Listening