1. English for cHeMisTs Rules of the LAB By Martin Moos and Honza Holomek Technical University Brno, Faculty of chemistry Summer term 2004/2005

2. LAB = laboratory How to work in laboratory? How to get always correct results? How to explain your mistakes? Some general advices..

3. How to work in laboratory? A.Be prepared. Work quick, clear and meaningfully. B.Keep a record of data for further calculations and creating your report. C.If possible, work in team. It saves your time. What to do if I don´t know this. ?

4. When you don't know what you're doing, do it neatly. Když nevíš, co děláš, dělej to se stylem, není to poznat. Always keep a record of your data. It indicates that you have been working. Veď si laboratorní deník, je to důkaz, že jsi pracoval. In case of doubt, make it sound convincing. Pokud pochybuješ, mluv přesvědčivě. Teamwork is essential, it allows you to blame someone else. Týmová práce je nezbytná, můžeš svést vinu na ostatní.

5. Work itself advices: If an experiment works, something has gone wrong. Experiments must be reproducible, they should fail the same way each time. No experiment is a complete failure. At least it can serve as a negative example. All unmarked beakers contain fast-acting, extremely toxic poisons.

6. Making report advices and mistakes: To do a lab really well, have your report done well in advance. If you can't get the answer in the usual manner, start at the answer and derive the question. First draw your curves, then plot your data. Never forget to change your name when using CTRL+C CTRL+V command. ?

7. It works? mailto: fch.succes@become.an.Ing.in.5.years.com And FINALLY…

8. Water is composed of two gins, Oxygin and Hydrogin. Oxygin is pure gin. Hydrogin is gin and water.

9. Do NOT believe in miracles - rely on them.

10. Thx 4 Patience.