1. FUTILE NSN 1000-or more-wasted man-hours STANDARD FORM Trash-Me-Now Prescribed by MAJ WASTE O TIME THIS IS A COVER SHEET FOR USELESS INFORMATION ALL INDIVIDUALS HANDLING THIS INFORMATION ARE REQUIRED TO DISREGARD IT AS RAPIDLY AS POSSIBLE IN THE INTEREST OF SAVING TIME AND EFFORT HANDLING, STORAGE, REPRODUCTION, AND DISTRIBUTION OF THE ATTACHED DOCUMENT IS DISCOURAGED TO THE MAXIMUM EXTENT POSSIBLE IN ORDER TO PREVENT ANY MORE WORK BEING WASTED ON THIS PROJECT WHICH WILL NEVER AMOUNT TO ANYTHING ANYWAY. (THIS COVER SHEET IS A WASTE OF PAPER)

2. STUPID NSN 17-10-24-HUT STANDARD FORM UMP-D-UMP Prescribed by I.M.N. IDIOT THIS IS A COVER SHEET FOR ASININE INFORMATION ALL INDIVIDUALS HANDLING THIS INFORMATION ARE REQUIRED TO PROTECT IT FROM ANY DISCLOSURE WHATSOEVER IN THE INTEREST OF OUR PROFESSIONAL CREDIBILITY HANDLING, STORAGE, REPRODUCTION, OR OTHER ASSOCIATION WITH THE ATTACHED DOCUMENT IS DISCOURAGED TO AVOID THE POSSIBLE ASSIGNMENT OF TOTAL, PARTIAL, OR REMOTE RESPONSIBILITY FOR ITS CONTENTS (THIS COVER SHEET IS DEMENTED)

3. (THIS COVER SHEET STINKS) BULLSHIT THIS IS A COVER SHEET FOR BULLSHIT INFORMATION ALL INDIVIDUALS HANDLING THIS INFORMATION ARE REQUIRED TO WASH THEIR HANDS BEFORE SERVING FOOD PRODUCTS OR SHAKING HANDS WITH ANY OTHER INDIVIDUALS NOT AUTHORIZED TO HANDLE OR DISSEMINATE BULLSHIT. HANDLING, STORAGE, REPRODUCTION OF THE ATTACHED DOCUMENT WITHOUT THE PROPER LEVEL OF AUTHORIZATION MAY RESULT IN THE LABELING AS A BULLSHITTER. BULLSHIT NSN OH-BS-GIMME-A-BREAK

4. CONFUSING NSN HUH? STANDARD FORM W.T.F.O. Prescribed by We Todd Did THIS IS A COVER SHEET FOR AMBIGUOUS INFORMATION ALL INDIVIDUALS HANDLING THIS INFORMATION ARE REQUIRED TO DISREGARD ALL LOGIC AND COMMON SENSE. FAILURE TO DO SO MAY RESULT IN SEVERE MIGRAINES OR AN ATTACK OF CONSCIENCE. HANDLING, STORAGE, REPRODUCTION, AND DISTRIBUTION OF THE ATTACHED DOCUMENT IS DISCOURAGED TO THE MAXIMUM EXTENT POSSIBLE IN ORDER TO KEEP THE CONTRADICTING, MENIAL, AND CONVOLUTED NATURE OF OF THIS PROJECT HUSH-HUSH. (THIS COVER SHEET IS AS CLEAR AS MUD)

5. PATHETIC NSN KENNY G STANDARD FORM C-17 Prescribed by CMSgt DESERT HELPERS THIS IS A COVER SHEET FOR PITIABLE INFORMATION ALL INDIVIDUALS HANDLING THIS INFORMATION ARE REQUIRED TO MAINTAIN A STRAIGHT FACE WHILE STRESSING ITS IMPORTANCE TO THE FUTURE OF THE OPERATION. AT NO TIME SHOULD COMMON SENSE OR CRITICAL THINKING BE APPLIED TO THIS INFORMATION, AS THE RESULTING REACTION COULD DEVASTATE THE ORIGINATING OFFICIAL’S EGO. HANDLING, STORAGE, REPRODUCTION, AND DISTRIBUTION OF THE ATTACHED DOCUMENT IS DISCOURAGED TO THE MAXIMUM EXTENT POSSIBLE TO POSTPONE THE INEVITABLE REVELATION THAT OUR ORGANIZATION IS CRIPPLED BY SUCH PETTY CRAP. (THIS COVER SHEET IS WEAKER THAN A QUADRIPLEGIC POODLE)

6. LUDICROUS NSN YAGATTABESHITTENME STANDARD FORM 42 Prescribed by MAJ DISASTER THIS IS A COVER SHEET FOR PREPOSTEROUS INFORMATION ALL INDIVIDUALS HANDLING THIS INFORMATION ARE REQUIRED TO DISREGARD ALL LOGIC AND COMMON SENSE. FAILURE TO DO SO MAY RESULT IN THE COLLAPSE OF REALITY AS WE KNOW IT. HANDLING, STORAGE, REPRODUCTION, AND DISTRIBUTION OF THE ATTACHED DOCUMENT IS IRRELLEVENT AS ALL INDIVIDUALS CONCERNED WITH IT ARE ALREADY SO CONFUSED THAT LIFE, THE UNIVERSE, AND EVERYTHING HAVE ALL BECOME MEANINGLESS. IF YOU CAN READ THIS, YOU DON’T NEED GLASSES. (HOLY SHIT! WE’VE GONE TO PLAID!)