1. Mary Ellen Bates BatesInfo.com Shirley Alldredge Memorial Lecture Feb. 27, 2014 Joyful (No, really!) Negotiating

2. Tweeting this? @RockyMtnSLA @mebs Slide deck at BatesInfo.com/extras 2

3. Deadhead Negotiating

4. What is negotiation? 4 BatesInfo.com

5. Negotiation ≠ confrontation It’s not either/or Assertive ≠ aggressive Just show up! BatesInfo.com 5

6. 5 Myths of Negotiation Negotiation is a power struggle Compromise is weakness You have to look out for #1 Never show your hand You have to be shrewd and cunning 6 BatesInfo.com

7. Who is running your life? 7

8. "You're the boss" Let the external world drive you “I had no choice” “He makes me so mad” “I can't / I wish / if only...” “My boss never lets me...” “People take advantage of me” 8 BatesInfo.com

9. "I'm the boss of me" Let the external world drive you Own your power to affect your world “I had no choice” “I didn't look at all the alternatives” “He makes me so mad” “I'm choosing to react angrily” 9 BatesInfo.com

10. "I'm the boss of me" “I can't / I wish / if only...” “What do I need to do to accomplish...?” “My boss never lets me...” “I haven't yet negotiated with my boss about...” “People take advantage of me” “Thanks for asking; I can’t do that right now.” 10 BatesInfo.com

11. Solve this mystery... You planned to attend the 2014 SLA conference. A travel freeze happens. You get there anyway! What happened? BatesInfo.com 11

12. Negotiate from abundance It’s never a zero-sum game There’s always a larger pie Shift from worst-case to best-case thinking BatesInfo.com 12

13. Focus on results you both want Interest-based rather than position- based discussion Aim for what's ideal, not what you'll settle for BatesInfo.com 13

14. Focus on now, not history Current situation, not what got you there Focus on the problem, not each other 14 BatesInfo.com

15. Ask more questions! Do you know everything you need to know about the situation? What else do you need to know? How could you add more value? 15 BatesInfo.com

16. Know when you have leverage When offered job or promotion “Hmmmm, the figure I was expecting was closer to $X. Could you walk me through how you arrived at $Y?” BatesInfo.com 16

17. “No” isn’t always “NO” “No" just means "give me a reason to say yes” What else can you offer? BatesInfo.com 17

18. What would you do? You want to learn how to create webinars. Your boss says “absolutely not”. What would you do? 18 BatesInfo.com

19. Be able to walk away Never invest more than you can leave on the table Listen to your gut Stop caring about the outcome BatesInfo.com 19

20. Check ego at the door Mad? Scared? Feeling like a victim? Deep breath. And another. Give up prior history with counterpart Take counterpart’s perspective Maybe they’re not ripping you off! BatesInfo.com 20

21. De-fuse negotiation anxiety Create situation to succeed “Can I have it for free?” doesn’t count How can you solve counterpart’s problem? BatesInfo.com 21

22. It's business, not personal...even when it’s personal! You are your own best advocate. BatesInfo.com 22

23. What would you do? A staff member says, “I’m going to quit! I’m working too many hours!” What would you do? 23 BatesInfo.com

24. Your assignment In the next week, negotiate something Did you survive the ordeal? 24 BatesInfo.com

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26. Mary Ellen Bates 303.772.7095 mbates@BatesInfo.com Web: BatesInfo.com Twitter: @mebs LinkedIn: maryellenbates 26