1. “If there is righteousness in the heart, There will be beauty in the character. If there is beauty in the character, There will be harmony in the home, If there is harmony in the home, There will be order in the nation, If there is order in the nation, There will be peace in the world.” (Chinese proverb)

2. Today’s
Family
Tree
Gary Sarvel, Indianapolis News, Aug. 19, 1983

3. Why Marriages Fail Sexual Incompatibility Religious Discord
Irreconcilable Differences
Financial Irresponsibility
Alcoholism
Religious Discord
In-Law Interference
Infidelity
Immaturity

4. Why Marriages Fail, Really

5. Poor Choices

6. Questions For Couples
“Do you both have a scriptural right to be married to one another?”
“Does your prospective mate have most of the qualities that you desire in a mate?”
“Are you compatible with one another?”

7. Questions For Couples
“Do you both believe in the permanence of marriage?”
“Do you know the difference between true love and infatuation?”
“Do you both have similar attitudes toward children and child-raising?”

8. Questions For Couples “Do you have similar attitudes toward work?”
“Do you have similar attitudes toward money and finances?”
“Do you have similar family backgrounds?”

9. Questions For Couples
“Do you come from a similar soci- economic level?”
“Do you have similar intellectual abilities and educational backgrounds?”
“What kind of relationship will you have with your in-laws?”

10. Questions For Couples
“Do you have very similar religious beliefs and convictions?”
“Is your prospective mate a person of principle and character?”
“Is this person your best friend?”

11. Advice For Couples Don’t date someone you wouldn’t consider marrying
Don’t think you’ll change the other person
Take your time
Fall in love with a Christian
Pray for God’s help

12. If You Marry Outside Your Faith
“Protestants”: 6.8% were separated
“Catholics”: 6.4% were separated
Mixed religious background: 15.2% were separated
No religious affiliation: 16.7% were separated
(Maryland Study with 12,000 young people)

13. Pick A Mate Who respects God’s word Who has spiritual goals and values
Who can adjust and compromise
Who willingly corrects major flaws
Who shows signs of maturity
Who can and will communicate

14. Pick A Mate Who can offer more than physical attractiveness
Who knows the difference between sex and love
Who is a good friend
Who views marriage as permanent
(L. A. Stauffer, Family Life: A Biblical Perspective, pp )

15. A Careful Choice Sexual Incompatibility Religious Discord
Irreconcilable Differences
Financial Irresponsibility
Alcoholism
Religious Discord
In-Law Interference
Infidelity
Immaturity

16. Half-Hearted Commitment
HERMAN
“You’re supposed to say ‘I do’ not ‘I’ll try.’”

17. God Demands Total Commitment
Marriage is a permanent relationship
Divorce is sinful
Remarriage is adultery

18. Whole-Hearted Commitment
Sexual Incompatibility
Irreconcilable Differences
Financial Irresponsibility
Alcoholism
Religious Discord
In-Law Interference
Infidelity
Immaturity

19. Inadequate Communication

20. Keys To Communication Create a conducive atmosphere for communication
Learn to be a good listener
Think about not only what you say but how you say it

21. Keys To Communication Set aside some time every day to talk
Communicate your love and affection for one another
Speak your mate’s language

22. Effective Communication
Sexual Incompatibility
Irreconcilable Differences
Financial Irresponsibility
Alcoholism
Religious Discord
In-Law Interference
Infidelity
Immaturity

23. Insufficient Cooperation

24. Longfellow’s Hiawatha
“As unto the bow the cord is, So unto man is woman; Though she bends him she obeys him, Though she draws him, yet she follows, Useless each without the other!”
(Henry W. Longfellow, Hiawatha, Pt. X, l. 1-5)

25. Areas For Cooperation The roles of headship and submission
The roles of breadwinner and homemaker
The sexual relationship

26. Mutual Cooperation Sexual Incompatibility Religious Discord
Irreconcilable Differences
Financial Irresponsibility
Alcoholism
Religious Discord
In-Law Interference
Infidelity
Immaturity

27. Little Consideration THE LOCKHORNS By Bill Hoest
“I told you that I loved you twenty years ago. Have you forgotten already?

28. Inconsideration Complaining & criticism Nagging Thoughtlessness
Unfair comparisons
Unrealistic expectations
Unkindness

29. Consideration Interest Appreciation Kindness Patience Tolerance
The Golden Rule

30. Husbands
Love
Nourish
Cherish
Know
Honor

31. Wives…
Submit
Fear
Love
Be kind

32. Care & Concern Sexual Incompatibility Religious Discord
Irreconcilable Differences
Financial Irresponsibility
Alcoholism
Religious Discord
In-Law Interference
Infidelity
Immaturity

33. Unresolved Conflicts

34. Resolving Conflicts Sexual Incompatibility Religious Discord
Irreconcilable Differences
Financial Irresponsibility
Alcoholism
Religious Discord
In-Law Interference
Infidelity
Immaturity

35. “I think I liked it better when you never took me anywhere.”
Discontentment
THE LOCKHORNS
By Bill Hoest
“I think I liked it better when you never took me anywhere.”

36. Contentment Sexual Incompatibility Religious Discord
Irreconcilable Differences
Financial Irresponsibility
Alcoholism
Religious Discord
In-Law Interference
Infidelity
Immaturity

37. Complacent Co-existence

38. Sharing & Caring Sexual Incompatibility Religious Discord
Irreconcilable Differences
Financial Irresponsibility
Alcoholism
Religious Discord
In-Law Interference
Infidelity
Immaturity

39. Why Marriages Fail, Really
Poor Choices
Half-Hearted Commitment
Inadequate Communication
Insufficient Cooperation
Little Consideration
Unresolved Conflicts
Discontentment
Complacent Co- existence

40. Discontentment

41. “A happy marriage is the union of two good forgivers”