2. Session one gender

3. Being a “real” man/woman A woman has many sexual partners A man has many sexual partners A man cries A woman cries A woman is into sports A man is into sports A woman wears trousers A man wears a skirt A woman is angry A man is angry A woman kisses one of her friends A man kisses one of his friends

4. What is Gender? Gender is: “the socially constructed roles, behaviours, activities, and attributes that a given society considers appropriate for men and women” World Health Organisation

5. Social learning and feminist theory You learn if: Attention – you must see the behaviour to be modelled You have be able to retain that information Reproduction – in reproducing a behaviour, an individual must organize his or her responses in accordance with the model behaviour. This ability can improve with practice. Motivation- rewards and punishments

8. “I didn’t know if there ever was a choice, really. I was already in too deep” Bella Swan, Twilight, Chapter 7, p.139 The books and TV we read and watch: “ Cohen said: "We're not going to have any more panel shows with no women on them. It's not acceptable."

9. The goods we buy and the ads we watch Equal ads

10. The music we listen to Play nice? Bitch I’ll punch Lana Del Rey right in the face twice, like Ray Rice in broad daylight in the plain sight of the elevator surveillance/ ’Til her head is banging on the railing, then celebrate with the Ravens.” Eminem Yeah, I had a bitch, but she ain't bad as you So hit me up when you pass through I'll give you something big enough to tear your ass in two Blurred Lines

11. The way we have sex: Should I be mad at my boyfriend looking at porn? My boyfriend and I have lived together for almost a year. When we first got together I noticed that he was looking at porn. I told him how much I did not like it. It mad me feel as though I was not attractive. … Well for about 3 months he stop looking at it. Then he started back. I don't know what to do.. Should I talk to him or just let it be? Let it be. You made yourself feel unattractive by irrationally telling yourself that him looking at porn means he's not attracted to you. Stop telling yourself such ridiculous things. Men look at porn because it's interesting and fun. Do you also think when he watches football that it means you're not sporty enough? Of course not, and what you're telling yourself about porn is just as silly as that would be.

12. The jokes we tell: What's the odd thing out: meat, eggs, wife, blowjob? Blowjob - because you can beat your meat, eggs or wife, but you can't beat a blowjob. Life with a woman is like a pack of cards - you need a heart to love one, you need a diamond to marry one, you need club to beat her and a spade to bury the bitch

13. The politics we live with European Commission 2013 Cabinet reshuffle- “ladies day”

14. MA Or…. Not at all

15. The economic system we’re part of Women on average still earn 80p to a man’s £1 Women are disproportionality represented in low pay, part time work Since 2010, 74% of the £14.9 billion worth of cuts have been made to benefits, tax credits, pay and pensions since 2010 has been taken from women’s incomes

16. Gender is a spectrum WOMAN?MAN?

17. Session two continuum of abuse

18. Allport’s scale

19. What is gender based abuse? Domestic abuse Sexual assault, rape, unwanted sexual contact FGM Honour based violence So called revenge porn Dating abuse Street harassment Homophobic language and behaviour Murder Forced marriage Transphobic language Sexist language and behaviour It is… Violence and abuse perpetrated to reinstate/create gender identity, norms and rules.

20. What does that look like in reality? Whose body is whose? Who has control? Who has the right to control someone else? Coercion and manipulation It is about power, control and entitlement.

21. Red flags Jealousy Ownership Isolation Humiliation Controlling clothes/relationships/jobs Stalking Unwanted sexual contact/rape/sexual assault “Nice guy?” can be hidden

22. Power and control Men often over estimate sexist beliefs of their peers The stronger someone’s attitudes are around sexism, the more likely they are to perpetrate abuse People who perpetrate abuse are more likely to abuse if they believe their attitudes and behaviour are normal Flood, Kaufman,Kilmartin, Katz

23. Session three Intervention

24. Intervention is more than do or don’t If a friend is unhappy we might ask what’s wrong If someone has taken their turn out of line we might stop them If we see someone struggling with a push chair, we might ask if they need help If someone’s being unfair, we might tell them they’re out of order We intervene all the time, but we might not see it as intervention

25. RECOGNISE Acknowledge the situation is making you uncomfortable ASSESS What is happening? Is it safe for those involved? Is it safe for you? Emotionally and physically? RESPOND What can you do? Anything? Nothing? Something in between?

26. Role play Some of you are waiting in line at the cinema, someone else jumps in front. Act out a resolution. You’re in a seminar, having a debate with someone. Act out a resolution. You’re on holiday and the room you’ve booked is much worse than advertised. Act out a resolution Your housemate has decided to borrow some of your clothes without asking. You’re not very happy about this. Act out a resolution. A work colleague keeps distracting you, and you really need to get on with the job. Act out a resolution.

27. Intervention can mean: Directly challenging Distracting Delegating Delaying Your safety is paramount. intervention DirectDelayDelegatedistract

28. Directly challenge Approach someone directly and challenge their behaviour Distract Try to distract the person from the situation Delegate Contact an authority figure Delay Look for a time when it’s more appropriate to challenge

29. distracting

30. Delegate Signpost people on If someone discloses their experiences to you remember: It’s not their fault They are very brave to speak out about it Ask “what can I do?” Find out local support services Don’t pressure to report if the person doesn’t feel able to

31. Session four Assertiveness and intervention

32. Passive Passive people tend to back off until the situation gets worse Aggressive Aggressive people can often aggravate the problem Assertive Assertive people often handle difficult situations and people well

33. Assertiveness Assertiveness is the ‘co-operative’ approach to problem solving it takes into account our needs and the needs of the other person

34. Session five Scenarios and strategies

35. Your stories If you feel comfortable to share, talk to your group about a “I wish I had said..” situation.

36. Where now? Bystander approaches UWE