1. Welcome to Magic 1-2-3
Please take a packet and the handouts on the table.
Help yourself to refreshments.
Please answer the parent questions.
Meet other parents who share your concerns.

2. Caley Elementary School
Behavior Magic 1, 2, 3
Caley Elementary School
Mrs. Barbara Micucci
School Counselor

4. Agenda Parent Questions Video of “Little Adult Assumption”
Introduce premise of Magic
Show video segment using Magic
Common concerns and special circumstances
“Start” behaviors
Circle of Support
Questions
Evaluation

5. Parent Questions
1. What techniques for discipline did your parents use? Were they effective?
2. What is the most difficult behavior for you to manage with your child?
3. What do you do to manage that behavior?
Is it effective?
4. What would you like to walk away with today?
5. What do you enjoy about your child/ children?

6. Parent Concerns Procrastination – having to tell my child more
than once to do things
Doing jobs independently and accepting consequences for poorly done jobs
Getting my children to listen to me
Fighting with each other
Talking back and saying “No”
Being so negative
Bedtime
Ignoring me when I speak to him/her
Completing a task

7. Parent Concerns Tantrums and whining Getting him up in the morning
Getting them to do daily chores
Bedtime
Dinner time takes forever for them to eat
Getting her to sleep in her own bed
through the night
Arguing over everything
Cleaning up after themselves
Finding time to spend with her
Doing homework in a timely fashion

8. 2 Types of Behaviors: Stop and Start
There are behaviors that you want to “STOP.” These include the frequent minor everyday behaviors such as:
Whining
Arguing
Yelling
Temper tantrums
Fighting
Sibling rivalry
With STOP behaviors you will want to use Magic and use counting followed by a time-out.

9. Practicing an instrument Getting up and out in the morning
Start Behaviors
Start behaviors include positive activities like:
Cleaning their room
Doing homework
Practicing an instrument
Getting up and out in the morning
Going to bed
Eating
With START behaviors you would use one of the following techniques to get your child to do the behavior:
praise, simple requests, kitchen timers, the docking system, natural consequences, charting or a version of the

10. Premise Behind Magic 1-2-3
One explanation
No talking – No emotion – the power is in the silence
Authority is not negotiable
Punishment is short – 1 minute time out for each year of life
As kids get older there is more democracy

11. Testing and Manipulation
Badgering: Why, why, please, please
Intimidation: Yelling, screaming
Threatening: “I’ll never talk to you again”
Martyrdom: Crying, pouting
Butter Up: Do something to make you
feel good
Physical: Attacking you or running away
These are all tactics to get what they want because they are frustrated.
DON‘T GIVE IN!

12. Time Out Alternatives
For those times where time-out might not be possible when a child reaches a count of 3, here is a list of some alternatives:
Earlier bedtime
Loss of TV for evening
Loss of a toy – for the
rest of the day
Small chore
Monetary fine
Write a paragraph
Loss of Gameboy – 2
hours
Removal of CD or DVD
player
No dessert or treat
No use of phone
Larger chore – weed yard
No conversation – 15 mins.
No friend over
Reduced computer time

13. Time-Out Alternatives
Groundings, fines, chores and losses like these can be very useful as consequences.
Remember to keep the punishment fair and reasonable.
Your goal is to teach the child something, not to be cruel or get revenge.

14. Special Circumstances
Sibling Rivalry:
If both children are fighting both kids get counted
Never ask “Who started it?” or “What happened?” except if someone is bleeding
Never expect the older child to be more mature when they are fighting (Older one may get longer time out)
If you don’t see it, don’t count it
Don’t send 2 fighting kids to the same room
Temper Tantrums: Time out does not start until tantrum is over
Pouting: You can count pouting

15. Tactics for Starting Behaviors
Praise / Positive Reinforcement (Should exceed your counting 4 times to 1). Use intermittent reinforcement as well as praising in front of someone else.
Simple requests: Avoid “should” thinking
Add rewards and consequences (Dock child if they don’t do it)
Kitchen timers - Play beat the clock
Docking System
Natural consequences – natural effects take over
Charting – stickers or number ratings. Could just use these or add a reward onto it.
Magic

16. Start Behaviors Cleaning their Room or Picking Up Eating Dinner
Close the door and don’t look method
Weekly clean up routine
Use a kitchen timer and docking system
Eating Dinner
Could use natural consequences with older kids
Use a timer – give small portions if they finish they get dessert
Eating can be considered a start/stop behavior if they are playing around count them
Bedtime
Pick a time, ½ hour before have them get ready

17. Start Behaviors Up and Out in the Morning Homework Break into segments
8 years old and younger use a chart and list what they need to do
Use kitchen timer
Use lots of praise
9 years old and older natural consequences
Give them an alarm clock if they are late they suffer consequences
Homework
Break into segments
Use as assignment sheet to see what they have
Use a 5 point charting system – 1 point for each of the following: neatness, thorough, correct, no complaining, and starting on your own without being reminded. If you get a 5 you get a reward or bonus

18. Possible Reinforcers A “No Chore” voucher A trip for ice-cream
Brightly colored tokens
A small toy
Renting a special game
Money
Staying up past bedtime
Renting a special movie
A grab-bag surprise
Outing with a parent
Shopping trip
Sleepover
Playing a game with parent
A “No Chore” voucher
Camping out in backyard
Card for a collection
Snack of choice
Breakfast in bed
Comic book or magazine
Friend over for dinner
Choice of three reinforcers
Sleeping with pet
Reading a story with parent
Helping make and eat cookies

19. Parent References
1 – 2 – 3 Magic – Effective Discipline for Children 2 – 12 by Dr. Thomas Phelan 9 (2nd and 3rd edition)
1 – 2 – 3 Magic Video by Dr. Thomas Phelan
More 1 – 2 – 3 Magic Video by Dr. Thomas Phelan
No More Misbehavin’ by Michele Borba - 38 difficult behaviors and how to stop them
Parents Do Make a Difference by Michele Borba – How to Raise Kids with Solid Character, Strong Minds, and Caring Hearts
Go To Your Room! – Consequences that Teach by Shari Steelsmith
Rewards for Kids! by Dr.Virginia Shiller and Meg Schneider – charts and activities for positive parenting
Raising Your Spirited Child by Mary Kurcinka
How To Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk by Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish
How to Behave So Your Children Will, Too! By Sal Severe
Discipline Without Shouting or Spanking by Jerry Wyckoff and Barbara Unell

20. If you let your children do anything they please,
A Final Thought…
If you let your children do anything they please,
Eventually you won’t be pleased by anything they do.