1. Group-Beasley, Cate, Goldstein, Hall, Pirtle Nursing 360 Professor Stephenson 2010

2.  A system that honors the dead.  Comforts the bereaved.

3.  Jewish custom is to leave a written legacy or ethical will for one’s children.  This is done as personal preparation for death.

4.  Judaism teaches that one must face one’s own death and attend to each other’s death.  Viddui- Jewish deathbed confession- said by the dying or on their behalf.  Believe in being at the bedside of the dying keeps them a part of the human community, avoids denial of grief.

5.  The Jewish culture believes death brings equality.  Caskets are simple, unlined wooden boxes called aron. Wooden pegs are used and there are holes in the bottom to facilitate return to the earth.  The body is carefully, respectfully bathed, dressed simply, usually in linen.  A prayer shawl called a tallit and earth from the Holy Land are placed in the casket.

6.  Spouse, parent, sibling or child of the dead is called the Onen which means “someone in between”.  Upon hearing of the death the Onen will tear the garment they are wearing.

7.  The funeral is usually held in a synagogue, funeral home or at the graveside.  The service includes the reading of the prayer of remembrance -El Maleh Rahamim, and the psalms.  A hesped (eulogy) and the Kaddish Prayer are said.  At the end of the ceremony the mourners will throw dirt onto the casket as the others say, “May God comfort you among all the mourners of Zion and Jerusalem”.

8.  Shiva is the 7 Days of Mourning.  The fundamental message is that the dying and grieving are supported by community.  The Onen (immediate family) will sit on low stools, and will not wear leather shoes, shave, have sexual contact, wash clothes, or work- except in economic hard ships which may return to work after 3 days.

9.  There are three prayer services held daily in the home requiring 10 Jews to be present.  The community shows support by making Shiva calls( visits) and providing food and support.  Visitors should arrive immediately after the funeral and during the minyan(prayer services) –mornings, during the day and in the evening.

10.  Appropriate dress for visitors is the same as for a synagogue service.  Immediately after the funeral there will be a pitcher of water, basin, and towels for washing hands because contact with the dead makes one impure.

11.  Do not ring the bell but enter the home quietly.  Take food to the receiver in the kitchen and identify meat, dairy or pareve (neither).  Find the mourners and name the deceased in your remarks.  Participate in the minyan( prayer service).  Eat only if invited.

12.  You may greet friends who are present but avoid casual conversation.  Don’t stay too long.  As you say goodbye wish good health, strength and long life or other blessings for the mourners.  Afterwards donations to charity are acceptable but flowers, candy, liquor are considered inappropriate.

13.  After Shiva the first 30 days of mourning is called the Shelosim. For a parent the period is 11 months(avelut) and daily recitation of Kaddish( prayer) is performed.  The mourning family members return to some normalcy but continue to avoid activities of pleasure.

14.  The anniversary of the death (Yahrzeit) is observed each year.  The deceased is also remembered at Passover, Shavuot, Yom Kippur, and Shemini Atzeret.  The unveiling of the tombstone is often held one year later.

15. The End Dawn Hall 1/25/2010

16.  On Preparation for death: http://www.myjewishlearning.com/life/Life_Events/Death_and_Mournin g/Dying/Ethical_Wills.shtml://www.myjewishlearning.com/life/Life_Events/Death_and_Mournin g/Dying/Ethical_Wills.shtml  On Dying :http://www.myjewishlearning.com/life/Life_Events/Death_and_Mournin g/Dying.shtmlhttp://www.myjewishlearning.com/life/Life_Events/Death_and_Mournin g/Dying.shtml  On Death and Burial: http://www.myjewishlearning.com/life/Life_Events/Death_and_Mournin g/Burial_and_Mourning.shtml://www.myjewishlearning.com/life/Life_Events/Death_and_Mournin g/Burial_and_Mourning.shtml  On Making a Shiva Call: http://www.myjewishlearning.com/life/Life_Events/Death_and_Mournin g/Burial_and_Mourning/Shiva/How_to_Make_a_Shiva_Call.shtml http://www.myjewishlearning.com/life/Life_Events/Death_and_Mournin g/Burial_and_Mourning/Shiva/How_to_Make_a_Shiva_Call.shtml  On Shiva: http://www.myjewishlearning.com/life/Life_Events/Death_and_Mournin g/Burial_and_Mourning/Shiva.shtml://www.myjewishlearning.com/life/Life_Events/Death_and_Mournin g/Burial_and_Mourning/Shiva.shtml  On Going to a funeral: http://www.myjewishlearning.com/life/Life_Events/Death_and_Mournin g/Practical_Aspects/Going_to_a_Funeral.shtml://www.myjewishlearning.com/life/Life_Events/Death_and_Mournin g/Practical_Aspects/Going_to_a_Funeral.shtml  Photo courtesy of Lynn Beasley