1. Relationships http://www.doyouwalkthetalk.com/

2. Your Basic Rights 1.To say no and not feel guilty 2.To change your mind about anything 3.To take your time to form a response to a comment or question 4.To ask for assistance with instructions or directions 5.To ask for what you want

3. Your Basic Rights (cont.) 6.To experience and express your feelings 7.To feel positive about yourself under any conditions 8.To make mistakes without feeling embarrassed or guilty 9.To own your own opinions and convictions

4. Your Basic Rights (cont.) 10. To protest unfair treatment or criticism 11. To be recognized for your significant achievements and contributions

5. Definitions to Know ASSERTION THEORY: EVERYONE HAS CERTAIN BASIC RIGHTS Assertive behavior: entitlement, not at the expense of others Non-assertive behavior: giving up entitlement in order to satisfy others Aggressive behavior: entitlement at the expense of others Verbal and Non-Verbal “I would like a raise” Unsatisfied needs lead into stressors

8. Verbal Assertiveness D – Describe (When you…) E – Express (I feel…) S – Specify (I would prefer that…) C – Consequence (If you do, don’t, I will…)

9. Non-Verbal Behaviors Eye contact Stance Posture

10. The right word at the right time can turn a life around. The wrong word at the wrong time can ruin someone. Timing is everything.

11. National Stress Survey 1100 Respondents were asked about the element of modern life that they thought caused the most stress: - Disagreements / Conflicts with loved ones - Money problems - “Pace of modern life” “Yearning To Be Stress Free” Prevention Magazine, March 1995

12. Conflict Resolution Content Conflict (Misunderstanding Facts) Value Conflict (Agree to Disagree) Ego Conflict (Win-Lose Mentality) 3 Types of Conflict:

13. Conflict Resolution Techniques 1.Active listening: repeat the other person’s words/feelings (paraphrasing) 2.Identify your position: state thoughts and feelings about the situation 3.Explore alternative solutions: brainstorming

14. Conflict Resolution Withdrawal / Avoidance Surrender (don’t care/really doesn’t matter) Hostile Aggression (yelling and screaming) Persuasion (nagging) Dialogue (Win-Win) Options to Resolve Conflict:

15. We tried to talk it over, but the words got in the way. Stevie Wonder

16. Relationships are built like a fine lacquer finish, with many layers of kindness.

18. Dialogue: Verbal Communication Tips Plan time to talk Timing Reflective/Active Listening Begin with Agreement (if you agree---- use “WE” not “You” or “I”) “Seek first to understand, then be understood.” -Steven Covey

19. Use “And” vs. “But” Statements Use “I” vs. “You” Statements Avoid “Why” Questions Like kids… “why?why?why?why?”

20. “What is my goal?” “What do I want to accomplish?” Most Important Considerations

21. The greatest medicine is a true friend. Sir William Temple

22. Social Support Networking Significant Relationships Extended Family Neighbors / Friends Intimate Relationships Pets

23. Social Support Networking Nurturing Relationships Time Commitment Lessons From Geese Building Your Network http://www.100-0principle.com/