1. Alternative briefs for The Great Wall of China thrown about by Emperor Meng T’ien, in various meetings with his wall design agency, around 221 BC. Oliver Cartwright (after Damian O’Malley)

2. ‘Please build a big wall’ (bad) ‘Please build a very big wall, longer than ten thousand li.”(worse) ‘I’ve got lots of spare labour so I wondered if you might put it to good use, by building a very big wall or something’ (much worse) ‘Please build a wall to keep us safe from invasion’ (better) ‘Please build a Great Wall, stretching from Lin-t’ao to Liao-tung, that will forever protect the people of the newly unified China from the murderous barbarian hordes to the north‘ (best)