1. Agenda Analytical Report Slides Exercise 5.3
Letter Writing (20 Minutes)
Cluster Diagramming vs Outlining
Proofreading

2. Chapter 5 Preparing to Write Business Messages
Mary Ellen Guffey, Business Communication:
Process and Product, 5e
Copyright © 2006

3. Business writing is . . .
Purposeful. It solves problems and conveys information.
Economical. It is concise.
Reader oriented. It focuses on the receiver, not the sender. 2

4. Guffey’s 3-x-3 Writing Process
Phase 1: Prewriting
Analyzing, anticipating, adapting
Phase 2: Writing
Researching, organizing, composing
Phase 3: Revising
Revising, proofreading, evaluating 3

5. Analyzing and Anticipating
Analyze the task
Identify the purpose
Anticipate the audience
Primary receivers?
Secondary receivers?
Select the best channel
Importance of the message?
Feedback required?
Permanent record required?
Cost of the channel?
Degree of formality? 4

6. Adapting to Task and Audience
Spotlight receiver benefits (the warranty starts working for you immediately).
Cultivate the “you” view (you will receive your order).
Use sensitive language avoiding gender, race, age, and disability biases (office workers, not office girls). 5

7. Adapting to Task and Audience
Express thoughts positively (you will be happy to, not you won't be sorry that).
Use familiar words (salary, not remuneration).
Use precise, vigorous words (fax me, not contact me). 5

8. Developing Reader Benefits
Sender-focused
“We are requiring all staffers to complete these forms in compliance with company policy.”
Receiver-focused
“Please complete these forms so that you will be eligible for health and dental benefits.”

9. Developing Reader Benefits
Sender-focused
“Because we need more space for our new inventory, we’re staging a two-for-one sale.”
Receiver-focused
“You can buy a year’s supply of paper and pay for only six months’ worth during our two-for-one sale.”

10. Hidden Negative Meanings
You are wrong
(I am right.)
You do not understand
(You are not very bright.)
Your delay
(You are at fault.)
You forgot to
(You are not only inefficient but also stupid and careless.) 10

11. Use Bias-Free Language
Gender-Biased
female attorney
waitress
man hours
workman
Improved
attorney
server
working hours
worker
Biased
Each employee has his ID card.
Improved
Each employee has an ID card.
All employees have ID cards. 10

12. Use Courteous Language
Less Courteous
Everyone must return these forms by January 1.
More Courteous
Please return the forms by January 1.
This is the second time I’ve had to write!
Why can’t you get my account straight?
Attached is my previous letter.
Please help me straighten out this account. 10

13. Use Simple, Familiar Language
Unfamiliar
We need to effectuate improvement of our
manuals to better elucidate our training goals.
Familiar
We need to improve our manuals to clarify
our training goals.
Sales reps generally conjecture when making
sales projections for homogeneous territories.
Sales reps generally guess when projecting
sales in similar territories. 10

14. Adapting to Legal Responsibilities
Avoid litigation by using especially careful language in four areas:
Investment information
Safety information
Marketing information
Human resources information 13

15. Chapter 6 Organizing and Writing Business Messages
Mary Ellen Guffey, Business Communication:
Process and Product, 5e
Copyright © 2006

16. Formal Research Methods
Access electronically – Internet, databases, CD-ROMs
Search manually – books, articles, and other secondary sources
Investigate primary sources – interviews, surveys, focus groups
Experiment scientifically – tests with experimental and control groups 2

17. Organizing Data Listing and outlining Grouping ideas into patterns.
Direct pattern for receptive audiences
Indirect pattern for unreceptive audiences 5

18. Audience Response Determines Pattern of Organization
If pleased
If neutral
DIRECT PATTERN
Good News or
Main Idea
If mildly interested 8

19. Audience Response Determines Pattern of Organization
If unwilling or
uninterested
If hostile
INDIRECT PATTERN
If displeased or
disappointed
Bad News or
Main Idea 8

20. Using a Cluster Diagram to Generate Ideas
1. In the center of a clean sheet of paper, write your topic name and circle it.
2. Around the circle, record any topic ideas that pop into your mind.
3. Circle each separate area.
4. Avoid censoring ideas.
5. If ideas seem related, join them with lines; don’t spend time on organization just yet. 4

21. Organizing Cluster Diagram Ideas Into Subclusters
Tips
Analyze the idea generated in the original cluster diagram.
Cross out ideas that are obviously irrelevant; simplify and clarify.
Add new ideas that seem appropriate.
Study the ideas for similarities. 6

22. Organizing Cluster Diagram Ideas Into Subclusters
Tips
Group similar ideas into classifications (such as Purpose, Content, Development, and Form).
If the organization seems clear at this point, prepare an outline.
For further visualization, make subcluster circles around each classification. 6

23. Creating Effective Sentences
Recognize phrases and clauses.
Use short sentences.
Emphasize important ideas.
Use the active voice for most sentences.
Use the passive voice to deemphasize the performer and/or to be tactful.
Avoid dangling and misplaced modifiers. 11

24. Recognizing Phrases and Clauses
Clauses have subjects and verbs; phrases do not.
Independent clauses are complete; dependent clauses are not.
Phrases and dependent clauses cannot function as sentences.
Independent Clause: They were eating cold pizza.
Dependent Clause: that they want to return for a refund
Phrase: to return for a refund 12

25. Using Short Sentences Sentence Length Comprehension Rate 8 words
100%
90%
80%
50%
Source: American Press Institute

26. Emphasizing Important Ideas
Position the most important idea at the beginning of the sentence.
Make sure the most important idea is the subject of the sentence.
Place the main idea in a short sentence. 14

27. Use the Active Voice for Most Sentences
Active voice: We lost money.
Active voice: I sent the message yesterday.
(The subject is the performer.) 15

28. Use the Passive Voice To Deemphasize the Performer and/or To Be Tactful
Passive voice: Money was lost (by us).
Passive voice: The message was sent yesterday (by me).
(Passive voice test: Ask “By whom?” If you can fill in the performer, the verb is probably in the passive voice.) 16

29. Effective Paragraphs Drafting effective paragraphs
Discuss only one topic in each paragraph.
Arrange sentences in a strategic plan.
Link ideas to build coherence.
Use transitional expressions for coherence.
Compose short paragraphs for effective business messages. 20

30. Effective Paragraphs Discussing only one topic in each paragraph
Group similar ideas together.
Start a new paragraph for each new topic. 21

31. Arranging Sentences in a Strategic Plan
Effective Paragraphs
Arranging Sentences in a Strategic Plan
Direct Plan: main sentence followed by supporting sentences (for defining, classifying, illustrating, and describing ideas)
Pivoting Plan: limiting sentences, main sentence, supporting sentences (for comparing and contrasting) 22

32. Effective Paragraphs Using transitional expressions for coherence
Recommended expressions:
additionally
also
as a result
for example
in other words
therefore 24

33. Chapter 7 Revising Business Messages
Mary Ellen Guffey, Business Communication:
Process and Product, 5e
Copyright © 2006

34. Revising for Clarity, Conciseness, and Readability
Keep it simple.
Keep it conversational.
Remove opening fillers.
Eliminate redundancies.
Reduce compound prepositions.
Purge empty words. 2

35. Revising for Clarity, Conciseness, and Readability
Kick the noun habit.
Dump trite “business” phrases.
Develop parallelism (balanced construction).
Apply graphic highlighting.
Measure readability. 2

36. Keep it simple. Avoid indirect, pompous language.
Poor: It would not be inadvisable for you to affix your signature at this point in time.
Improved: You may sign now.

37. Keep it conversational.
Formal: Our Accounting Department takes this opportunity to inform you that we have credited your account for the aforementioned sum.
Conversational: We have credited your account for $100.

38. Remove opening fillers.
Wordy: There are four new menu items we must promote.
Improved: We must promote four new menu items.

39. Eliminate redundancies.
collect together
contributing factor
personal opinion
perfectly clear

40. Reduce compound prepositions.
at such time
at which time
due to the fact that
inasmuch as
Reduce to when.
Reduce to because.

41. Purge empty words.
As for the area of athletic shoes, the degree of profits sagged.
This is to inform you that we have a toll-free service line.
Not all students who are registered will attend. 8

42. Purge empty words.
As for the area of athletic shoes, the degree of profits sagged.
This is to inform you that we have a toll-free service line.
Not all students who are [registered] will attend. 8

43. Purge empty words. As for athletic shoes, profits sagged.
We have a toll-free service line.
Not all [registered] students will attend. 8

44. Dump trite "business" phrases.
Trite: Pursuant to your request, enclosed please find a job application.
Improved: As requested, we have enclosed a job application.

45. Develop parallelism (balanced construction).
Not parallel: We can collect information, store it, and later it can be updated.
Parallel: We can collect, store, and update information.

46. Use Numbered Lists for “High Skim” Value
Follow these steps to archive a document:
Select the document.
Select a folder.
Provide a file name.
Click “Save.”

47. Use Bulleted Lists for “High Skim” Value
Consumers expect the following information at product Web sites:
Price
Quality
Performance
Availability

48. The Complete Process
1. Prewriting
Analyze
Anticipate
Adapt

49. The Complete Process 1. Prewriting 2. Writing Analyze Research
Anticipate
Adapt
2. Writing
Research
Organize
Compose

50. The Complete Process 1. Prewriting Analyze Anticipate Adapt 2. Writing
Research
Organize
Compose
3. Revising
Revise
Proofread
Evaluate

51. 1. Prewriting
Analyze: Define your purpose. Select the most appropriate form (channel). Visualize the audience.
Anticipate: Put yourself in the reader’s position and predict his or her reaction to this message.
Adapt: Consider ways to shape the message to benefit the reader, using his or her language. 32

52. 2. Writing
Research: Collect data formally and informally. Generate ideas by brainstorming and clustering.
Organize: Group ideas into a list or an outline. Select the direct or indirect strategy.
Compose: Write first draft, preferably on a computer. 33

53. 3. Revising
Revise: Revise for clarity, tone, conciseness, and vigor. Revise to improve readability.
Proofread: Proofread to verify spelling, grammar, punctuation, and format. Check for overall appearance.
Evaluate: Ask yourself whether the final product will achieve its purpose. 34

54. Try This Read the following sentence counting the F’s as you go:
Federal fuses are the result of years of scientific study combined with the years of experience
Write the number of F’s Here: _______

55. Try This Now read the sentence backwards counting the F’s:
Federal fuses are the result of years of scientific study combined with the years of experience
Write the number of F’s Here: _______