1. U. S. Department of Energy
Leadership Seminar
Communication – The Platinum Rule
Module 3
You can utilize many communication models. There will be three provided for you to choose from when teaching this portion of the seminar:
Option 1: The Platinum Rule
Option 2: Path-to-Action Model – Point of Contact is John.Epperson.inl.gov
Option 3: Nonviolent Communication A Language of Life – Point of Contact is
Option 1:
The information contained in the Communication Module 3 is copyrighted. You must obtain permission or pay to use The Platinum Rule Communication at your facility from the following website or Platinum Rule Online Assessment Is No Longer A Free Assessment. Contact them for rates.
Platinum Rule® Behavioral Style Assessment is a tool used throughout Module 3. You will need to do this well in advance of the seminar.
Before teaching Module 3, We recommend reading The Platinum Rule by T. Alessandra, Ph.D., and M.J. O’Connor, Ph.D., You will have a better understanding of the material.
OPTIONAL: Lunch Break will occur during this presentation: Give them a tasking of sitting with someone in the class that they don’t know at lunch and ask them to benchmark each other and their personal communication styles (Director, Relater, Socializer, and/or Thinker).
Option 2: Path-to-Action Model – Point of Contact is John Epperson. address is John.Epperson.inl.gov at Idaho National Laboratory with phone number
Option 3: Nonviolent Communication – Point of Contact is John Wellisch. address is at Idaho National Laboratory with phone number
Title: Leadership Seminar – Communication Module 3
Time Required: 2 hours
References: INPO First Line Leadership Seminar
Instructional Aids: Student Handout
Trainee Preparation: None
Instructor Preparation:
- Review of lesson plan
- Obtain student handouts
- Obtain computer, audio-visual equipment
Presentation Method: Lecture, Individual Work, Group Work and Dynamic Learning Activities
Evaluation Method: Individual Action Plans with Manager

2. Communication
Effective Communication equals less conflict and achievable goals. But, you have to have clear expectations, goals and standards.

3. Why is effective communication so important?
Insert Bird for Christmas Dinner Video – You may have to do this because it may not be done automatically when you copy the presentation.
Bird for Christmas Dinner video from You tube:
OPTIONAL: Use another communication video to describe ineffective or effective communication and leadership.

4. What does good communication Look like?
Clear
Concise
Concrete
Correct
Coherent
Complete
Courteous
What Does Good Communication look like/characteristics
Dynamic Learning Activity: Draw a straight line on a flip chart or board. Then, tell the trainees to draw a line on paper or flip chart. Give the trainees 20 – 30 seconds to draw something from that line. Have everyone look at all the drawings. Ask the question: “What is the right answer?” The answer is that they are all right. The main point is that we all think, send, and receive communication differently just like we all look, think and draw something from the straight line differently. So, we as communicators need to understand that everyone does not think, send and receive communications the same.
Ref:

5. Platinum Rule communications
Golden Rule:
Do Unto Others as You Would Have Them Do Unto You.
Platinum Rule:
Do Unto Others as They Want Done Unto Them.
Rules: Treat others as they expect and want to be treated.
Start thinking about how well you personally communicate with others (includes employees, family and friends) and begin internalizing how you can improve.
Things to consider: Do you need to work on listening, interrupting others, processing what they are telling you, responding, not being defensive, etc.
Think of someone who you always seem to have trouble communicating with.
Think about why you have trouble and consider what is it that makes it so hard?
We tend to assume that everyone is like us, and assume that they like to get information in the same way.
In communications, two hard jobs – listening and making sure your message is understood.
Adapted from:
The Platinum Rule by T. Alessandra, Ph.D., and M.J. O’Connor, Ph.D., 1996

6. Platinum Rule Communication
Open 4 3 2 1
REMINDER this information is copyrighted so either pay or receive permission to use.
Explain the Chart to the class:
As you better understand why people behave the way they do, and come to understand your own patterns better, your communication will become more open and effective in ways that maintain comfort (reduce tension) and heighten productivity. With an awareness of the four basic styles, you can learn to apply the spirit of the Golden Rule to create better chemistry more of the time and in more of your relationships. You have probably identified with some of the characteristics of all four behavioral patterns. That’s natural! People possess traits from all four styles to varying degrees.
Print the below information and hand out to the class with the chart attached for them to understand how to find their quadrant in the slide.
OPENNESS: The readiness and willingness with which a
person outwardly shows emotions or feelings and develops
interpersonal relationships.
OPEN BEHAVIORS
• Self-disclosing
• Shows and shares feelings freely
• Makes most decisions based on feelings (subjective)
• Conversation includes digressions; strays from subject
• More relaxed and warm
• Goes with the flow
• Opinion- and feeling-oriented
• Easy to get to know in business or unfamiliar social situations
• Flexible about how their time is used by others
• Prefers to work with others
GUARDED BEHAVIORS
• Keeps feelings private: shares only on a “need-to-know” basis
• Makes most decisions based on evidence (objective)
• Focuses conversation on issues and tasks; stays on subject
• More formal and proper
• Goes with the agenda
• Fact- and task-oriented
• Takes time to get to know in business or unfamiliar social situations
• Disciplined about how their time is used by others
• Prefers to work independently
DIRECTNESS: The amount of control and forcefulness a
person attempts to exercise over situations or others’ thoughts
and emotions.
DIRECT BEHAVIORS
Approaches risk, decisions, or change quickly/spontaneously
Frequent contributor to group conversations
Frequently uses gestures and voice intonation to emphasize points
Often makes emphatic statements: “This is so!” or “I’m positive!”
Emphasizes points through confident vocal intonation and assertive body language
Questions tend to be rhetorical, to emphasize points, or to challenge information
Expresses opinions readily
Less patient; competitive
Confronting
More likely to maintain his or her position when not in agreement (argue)
Intense; assertive
Initial eye contact is sustained
More likely to introduce self to others at social gathering
Firm handshake
Tends to bend/break established rules and policies
INDIRECT BEHAVIORS
• Approaches risk, decision, or change slowly/cautiously
• Infrequent contributor to group conversations
• Infrequent use of gestures and voice intonation to emphasize points
• Often makes qualified statements: “According to my sources,” or “I think so.”
• Emphasizes points through explanations of the content of the message
• Questions tend to be for clarification/support/information
• Reserves expression of opinions
• More patient and cooperative
• Diplomatic
• When not in agreement (if it’s no big deal), most likely to go along
• Understated; reserved
• Initial eye contact is intermittent
• At social gathering, more likely to wait for others to introduce themselves
• Gentle handshake
• Tends to follow established rules and policies
Very Guarded
Indirect
Direct

7. EXERCISE Travel to your quadrant. Label your flipchart.
Discuss your verbal communication preferences – your likes and dislikes. What do your work associates do that drives you CRAZY!
Flipchart the results
share additional insights and experiences
On a flip chart, ensure that you have the four quadrants listed as one on each flip chart spread around the seminar room.
Tell the class that you want them to pick the quadrant that they are in from the previous slide and designate 4 areas to represent each quadrant. Then, have the trainees move to the quadrant with their workbook that best fits them.
At your tables, make a list on the flip chart with your likes and dislikes in communicating with others.
Optional: Have trainees take The Platinum Rule Assessment for Leadership prior to attending the seminar. Then, bring their printed results to seminar so that they already know the quadrant they fit in with the definitions of each Quadrant.

8. CAVEAT! One size does not fit all.
People may have various shades of each attribute.
Everyone gravitates someplace else under differing circumstances.
Not a pigeon hole, not a laser, just a good starting point in communications.

9. Platinum Rule Communications Directors
Discuss each quadrant.
Quadrant for Directors: Tell us what you talked about regarding the exercise.

10. Platinum Rule Communications Director Characteristics
Results-Oriented
Leadership
Self-Disciplined
Competitive
Organized
Decisive
Directors
Guarded
Direct
These characteristics can be both a strength and a weakness especially when dealing with others.
OPTIONAL: Ask the class if they can give examples of people in the organization that would be considered a director.
Examples of Recommendations: DIRECTORS need to practice active listening, pace themselves to project a more relaxed image, and develop patience, humility, and sensitivity. They need to show a concern for others, use more caution, verbalize the reasons for their conclusions, and participate more as team players.

11. Platinum Rule Communications Director Challenges
Directors
Guarded
Direct
Flexibility
Patience
Listening
Cooperation
Criticism
Directors primary weaknesses tend to be inflexibility, impatience, poor listening skills, and competitive nature.
What would 2-3 recommendations to help you with these challenges?
Examples of Recommendations: DIRECTORS need to practice active listening, pace themselves to project a more relaxed image, and develop patience, humility, and sensitivity. They need to show a concern for others, use more caution, verbalize the reasons for their conclusions, and participate more as team players.

12. Platinum Rule Communications Director Influenced by
Efficiency
Business-like Relations
Productivity
Decision Options
“We have a problem here”
Directors
Guarded
Direct
Directors have a get it done mindset. Their motto is “I want it done right and I want it done now!”
Do any of you work for directors?
Do any directors work for you?
When do you need to know who your directors are?

13. Platinum Rule Communications Thinkers
Quadrant for Thinkers: Tell us what you talked about regarding the exercise.

14. Platinum Rule Communications Thinker Characteristics
Organized
Dependable
Accuracy
Independent
Perfectionists
Serious
Guarded
Indirect
Thinkers
THINKERS’ primary strengths are their accuracy, dependability, independence, follow-through, and organization.
OPTIONAL: Ask the class if they can give examples of people in the organization that would be considered a thinker.
Thinkers are very detailed oriented and get the job done right. If your subordinates are thinkers and are not given time to input their ideas, they will sit back and allow the entertainer to monopolize the job and what needs to be done.

15. Platinum Rule Communications Thinker Challenges
Guarded
Indirect
Thinkers
Timeliness
Decisiveness
Sociability
Risk Taking
Innovation
Thinkers primary weaknesses are their procrastination and conservative natures, which promote their tendency to be picky and over-cautious.
Thinkers do not like confrontation very well and try to avoid conflict.
What would 2-3 recommendations to help you with these challenges?
Examples of Recommendations: THINKERS need to openly show concern and appreciation of others, try some shortcuts and time savers occasionally, adjust more readily to change and disorganization, improve on timely decision-making and initiation of new projects, and compromise with the opposition.

16. Platinum Rule Communications Thinker Influenced by
Guarded
Indirect
Thinkers
Data
Facts
Accuracy
Logic
“Take a look at this
information”
“Notice my Efficiency” is their motto.
Do any of you work for thinkers?
Do any of you have thinkers who work for you?
When do you need to know who your thinkers are?

17. Platinum Rule Communications Socializers
Quadrant for Socializers : Tell us what you talked about regarding the exercise.

18. Platinum Rule Communications SOCIALIZER Characteristics
Open
Direct
SOCIALIZERS
Enthusiastic
Assertive
Outspoken
Imaginative
Entertaining
Impulsive
SOCIALIZERS’ primary strengths are their openness, animation, intuitiveness, and liveliness. They are idea persons. They have the ability to get others caught up in their dreams because of their persuasive skills. They need approval and recognition.
OPTIONAL: Ask the class if they can give examples of people in the organization that would be considered a socializer.
Socializers like to be involved, work quickly, enthusiasm, persuasiveness, and delightful sociability. If your subordinates are socializers their actions and decisions could be more spontaneous than based upon facts and empirical data and they keep a very fast pace.

19. Platinum Rule Communications sOCIALIZER Challenges
Open
Direct
SOCIALIZERS
Boring Tasks
Working Independently
Patience
Self-Discipline
Organizing Tasks
Risk Analysis
Socializer’s primary weaknesses are getting involved in too many things, impatience, and short attention spans which promote their ability to exaggerate and generalize facts and have a hard time completing projects.
Socializers do not like boring tasks, being alone and lack of telephone access.
What would 2-3 recommendations to help you with these challenges?
Examples of Recommendations: SOCIALIZERS need to control their time and emotions, develop a more objective mindset, spend more time checking, verifying, specifying and organizing, develop more of a task focus and take a more logical approach to projects and issues.

20. Platinum Rule Communications Socializer Influenced by
Open
Direct
SOCIALIZERS
New Ideas
Excitement
Emotions
Power
“I have a great idea”
“Ain’t we got Fun!” is their motto.
Do any of you work for socializers?
Do any of you have socializers who work for you?
When do you need to know who your socializers are?

21. Platinum Rule Communications RElaters
Quadrant for Relaters : Tell us what you talked about regarding the exercise.

22. Platinum Rule Communications relatER Characteristics
Indirect
Open
RELATERS
Team Player
Unassertive
Warm
Helpful
Listens
Dependable
RELATERS’ primary strengths are their openness, warmth, ability to listen and motivate, helping attitude and dependability.
OPTIONAL: Ask the class if they can give examples of people in the organization that would be considered a relater.
Relaters like to be open, direct, unassertive, take actions but make decisions slowly, very people oriented, very friendly and dislike conflict. If your subordinates are relaters, their actions and decisions could be more cautious because want to know how others feel about it first.

23. Platinum Rule Communications RelatEr Challenges
Indirect
Open
RELATERS
Submissive
Base decisions from feelings
Goal Setting with Risks
Making quick decisions
Conflict
Delegation
Relaters primary weaknesses are their unassertiveness, overly sensitive and easily bullied.
Relaters do not like confrontation very well and try to avoid conflict.
What would 2-3 recommendations to help you with these challenges?
Examples of Recommendations: RELATERS need to say “NO” occasionally, attend to the completion of tasks without over-sensitivity to the feelings of others, be willing to reach beyond their comfort zone to set goals that require some risk and learn to delegate to others.

24. Platinum Rule Communications RELATERS Influenced by
Indirect
Open
RELATERS
Team Spirit
Personal Feelings
Gentle Persuasion
Encouragement
Trust
“I need your help”
“Notice how well I am liked” is their motto.
Do any of you work for relaters?
Do any of you have relaters who work for you?
When do you need to know who your relaters are?

25. Platinum Rule Communication
Open 4 3 2 1
OPTIONAL: Copyrighted material by The Platinum Rule
Now you can do a self-portrait of your behavioral style:
Hand out the Worksheet or put in the Student Handout: Option 1 – Copyrighted Material PlatinumRuleWorkbookPDF Page 22 Self-portrait of Behavioral Style from Module 3 Option 1 file folder .
Directions: Use your understanding of your own personality to briefly respond to these questions.
1. My primary strength is:
2. My primary weakness is:
3. Famous people/television characters who have a style similar to mine are:
Male:
Female:
4. My personality is ideally suited for this occupation:
5. The automobile that best reflects my personality is a (make/model/color):
6. The song that best reflects my personality is:
7. What irritates me most about the way other people treat me is:
8. If other people want to get along better with me (my style), they should treat me:
Very Guarded
Indirect
Direct

26. Platinum Rule Communications Summary
“The Platinum Rule® – treating others the way they want to
be treated by adapting to their personality style – can quickly make you a more sensitive, effective leader. Indeed, The Platinum Rule® can have a positive effect on almost every aspect of managing. With each of the four personality types, there’s a different way to communicate and delegate tasks, compliment and correct, and motivate and counsel.”
What are the pitfalls or benefits of having all of one type working together?
What does this mean to you as a leader?
In each situation, you need to ask Where is My Director? My Thinker? My Socializer? My Relater?
In Summary:
Copyrighted material from The Platinum Rule Workbook © Dr. Tony Alessandra.
“Remember, the best leader isn’t someone with a particular
behavioral style, or even some ideal blend of styles. Instead,
the best leader is someone who realizes what a job or task
requires – and then does it! That means working well with
all of the personality styles in all sorts of situations.
In fact, as firms restructure and put new emphasis on
teamwork, leaders who understand behavioral styles will
have a leg up. Sometimes they may wish to act in their
natural style, using their intrinsic strengths. At other times,
they may choose to adapt to others, using The Platinum Rule®
principles. Or, when they sense a serious clash of styles, they
may wish to pick a third person to handle a certain situation.
Yet another option open to the manager is to change the
work environment—say, realign a worker’s duties, alter
deadlines, or revamp priorities—to allow employees to play
to their strengths. Most managers today agree that you can’t
mandate productivity.
For any organization to run its best, it probably requires all
four styles. You can’t just say “We’re a sales organization,
so we need all SOCIALIZERS.” Or “We’re an engineering
outfit, so we just need results-oriented DIRECTORS and
THINKERS.” You need all four types, but you need them
in the right spots.
In all cases, though, you, the manager, should be very aware
of your style and how it can affect others. Being conscious
of the extremes of your style will allow you to become a
better boss. Often, supervisors who make a study of their
style in the workplace also see improved relationships at
home and in social settings. “Wow!” they’ll say as they see
for the first time how others view them, “that’s what my
spouse has been telling me all these years.”
The Platinum Rule Workbook © Dr. Tony Alessandra

27. Misunderstanding the message….
Use a video such as the Piano Stairs to show good leadership qualities from any or all of the 4 Behavioral Styles.
Leadership can be fun, innovative and creative to change behaviors.

28. Conflict Conflict Management
Managing conflict is a soft skill that requires diplomacy and emotional separation.
You only control yourself. Start from your heart and make sure your motives are pure.
Focus on what you want out of the conversation. The first principle of good dialogue is that healthy dialogue starts with your own motives. Start With Heart means to start with the right motives and stay focused on what you really want throughout the conversation.
Conflicts usually results from 2 or more people with different needs.
Optional: Do a word association exercise on a flipchart for the class.
Draw 2 columns and put these headers in each column:
Conflict – No Trust Conflict – With Trust
Ask the class to associate words that come to mind with each column header and put them on the flip chart in the appropriate column for discussion.

29. “Conflict is inevitable, but combat is optional.” — Max Lucade
Quote over conflict
“Conflict is inevitable, but combat is optional.” — Max Lucade
Conflict happens.  How you respond to and resolve conflict will limit or enable your success.
Conflict should not be avoided but controlled and channeled.
Embrace Conflict as a Source of Growth and Transformation: Conflict can come from a variety of sources:
Goals.  Conflict can happen as a result of conflicting goals or priorities.  It can also happen when there is a lack of shared goals.
Personality conflicts.  Personality conflicts are a common cause of conflict.  Sometimes there is no chemistry, or you haven’t figured out an effective way to click with somebody.
Scarce resources. Conflict can happen when you’re competing over scarce resources.
Styles.   People have different styles.  Your behavior, thinking , or communication style might conflict with somebody else’s behavior , thinking, or their communication style.  The good news is that conflicts in styles are easy to adapt to when you know how.
Values.  Sometimes you will find conflict in values.  The challenge here is that values are core.  Adapting with styles is one thing, but dealing with conflicting values is another.  That’s why a particular business, group, or culture may not be a good fit for you.  It’s also why “bird’s of a feather flock together” and why “opposites attract, but similarities bind.”
By embracing conflict as a part of life, you can make the most of each situation and use it as a learning opportunity or a leadership opportunity.  You can also use it as an opportunity to transform the situation into something better.

30. Show Video located in Module 3 Captain versus Lighthouse
Instructor Note: It is called Captain_win.

31. Conflict Management 5 Conflict Management Styles: Accommodating
Avoiding
Collaborating
Competing
Compromising
Five Conflict Management Styles
Here are the five conflict management styles according to Thomas, K.W., and R.H. Kilmann:
Accommodating – This is when you cooperate to a high-degree, and it may be at your own expense, and actually work against your own goals, objectives, and desired outcomes.  This approach is effective when the other party is the expert or has a better solution.  It can also be effective for preserving future relations with the other party.
Avoiding -  This is when you simply avoid the issue.  You aren’t helping the other party reach their goals, and you aren’t assertively pursuing your own.  This works when the issue is trivial or when you have no chance of winning.   It can also be effective when the issue would be very costly.  It’s also very effective when the atmosphere is emotionally charged and you need to create some space. Sometimes issues will resolve themselves, but “hope is not a strategy”, and, in general, avoiding is not a good long term strategy.
Collaborating – This is where you partner or pair up with the other party to achieve both of your goals.  This is how you break free of the “win-lose” paradigm and seek the “win-win.”  This can be effective for complex scenarios where you need to find a novel solution.  This can also mean re-framing the challenge to create a bigger space and room for everybody’s ideas.  The downside is that it requires a high-degree of trust and reaching a consensus can require a lot of time and effort to get everybody on board and to synthesize all the ideas.
Competing – This is the “win-lose” approach.  You act in a very assertive way to achieve your goals, without seeking to cooperate with the other party, and it may be at the expense of the other party.    This approach may be appropriate for emergencies when time is of the essence, or when you need quick, decisive action, and people are aware of and support the approach.
Compromising – This is the “lose-lose” scenario where neither party really achieves what they want.  This requires a moderate level of assertiveness and cooperation.  It may be appropriate for scenarios where you need a temporary solution, or where both sides have equally important goals.   The trap is to not fall into compromising as an easy way out, when collaborating would produce a better solution.
By knowing your own default patterns you improve your self-awareness.  Once you are aware of your own patterns, you can pay attention to whether they are working for you and you can explore alternatives.  By using a scenario-based approach, you can choose more effective conflict management styles and test their effectiveness for you and your situations.

32. Conflict Management Five Keys to Positive Interaction during conflict:
Position and interest
Just the facts
What’s the story?
Speak softly
The silent message
As a conflict manager and good leader, you need to understand the following:
Position and Interest: Ask the what and why of the basis for the person with conflict that pertains to their position and interest in the conflict.
Ask for just the facts and any documentation that substantiates that position.
Ask them to tell their story from the other person’s perspective.
Never take conflict in the business world personally. Avoid the use of hard words such as “never,” “always,” etc.
Speak softly because this can and usually reduces the tension in the room especially in heated discussions. People will tend to lower their voices, speak softer and be more willing to listen.
The silent message conveyed is body language about 70%, 20% comes from tone of voice, and 10% comes from words. According to studies done by Universities: People read into body language as the predominant message and use it as a filter when and how the message is delivered and received. Be aware that your body language conveys the primary message to the receiver.

33. Conflict Management Trust, Communication and Conflict
People under stress can lose 80 percent of ability to process information.
People react to perceived threats rather than objective “reality.”
Lack of trust can multiply the perception of risk 2000 times.
Trust can overcome this barrier.
Source: Dr. Vincent Covello, Center for Risk Communication

34. Conflict Management Honesty Competence Caring Commitment
Traits of leaders:
People respect these traits in leaders: Caring, Honesty, Competency, and Commitment. According to the pie chart, caring rated at 50% which is higher than the other three combined. The other three traits rated about the same.
What does this tell you about leadership and conflict management?
Sincere caring builds trust, and helps reduces/resolves conflict.
Commitment
Source: Dr. Vincent Covello, Center for Risk Communication

35. Summary Do Unto Others as They Want Done Unto Them.
Discussed the fundamentals of leadership including core attributes and expectations for setting and maintaining a high level of standards within the DOE complex.
Do Unto Others as They Want Done Unto Them.
Apply Fundamentals of The Platinum Rule by understanding and applying Behavioral Styles
Apply Conflict Management Skills

36. Key learnings Record Daily Key Learnings: Homework:
Group Consensus – Key Points Learned
List on Flip Chart & Discuss Each Morning
Homework:
Individual Action Plan
Deliverable for Course Completion
We will capture 3 – 4 Daily Key Learnings each day and record on Individual Key Learnings Work sheet from Module 1.
Record the Plus’s and Delta’s from the seminar on a flip chart and discuss.
Refer to the Hand out Monday – Thursday Activity sheet from Module 1 in the trainee workbook and have them work on it at each table at end of the day.
Refer to the Hand out Individual Action Plan (IAP) in the trainee workbook. Discuss the expectations.
Begin Work on Individual Action Plan (IAP) is your deliverable for course completion. We will give you a blank one to fill out for you to use to sharpen your leadership skills such as building on your strengths and increasing your weak areas from the 7 topics that will be discussed in this seminar. There is an example of the IAP in Module 1, too.
Example: Become a better communicator and identify your steps for improving this area. Make sure that the steps are measureable by establishing metrics for effectiveness.
Become a better coach/mentor and identify your steps for improving this area. Make sure that the steps are measureable by establishing metrics for effectiveness.